When The Candle Flickered Out
by Restless And Tempted
Summary: The stars surely wept tonight! For Erik was behind us…Erik had heard everything. He would come for me tonight…to remind me that the Angel of Music was very strict." Mainly Christine's POV. A journey into a dark love that could possess so much light...R
1. When The Candle Flickered Out

**A/N: **Hi again, it's been a while!

So here's another oneshot.

(I'm working on a longer phic right now I swear!)

This takes place straight after Christine and Raoul have been on the roof together. The characters are sort of a mix of the books, musical and film in a way.

A kind of "What If?" you could say.

Erik has heard them on the roof and Christine knows...

Please read and review (",)! (And as always, be kind please.)

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**__**When The Candle Flickered Out**_

_We had been heard…_

As Raoul and I descended the winding, wooden staircase leading down from the roof, a cold chill ran down my spine. Such tension filled the air. We were being followed, I could feel it in the depths of my being.

Glancing at Raoul, it seemed that he remained blissfully unaware as he clutched my hand and happily babbled about the places we would travel to when we were free of this place. It saddened me that I couldn't focus on his words, nor muster the enthusiasm that I'm sure his plans deserved. The youthful joy of a budding romance which had infused me with such hope upon the rooftop had fled almost as soon as it had come.

The darkness of my mind crept back in as the darkness behind us trailed our every move.

I knew who it was that stalked us. My soul cried out in recognition even as my heart stuttered in fear. Yes, I knew who followed us and I knew why…

Up on the roof I had foolishly allowed myself to hope that our words would go unheard. Sweet murmurings of affection that could hurt no one so long as only we two knew of them. But I had been wrong…we had not been alone up there under the midnight sky.

The stars surely wept tonight!

For Erik was behind us…Erik had heard everything.

He would come for me tonight…to remind me that the Angel of Music was very strict.

As we reached my dressing room, I asked Raoul as sweetly as I could to allow me to prepare myself to leave for the night alone. He was not fond of the idea in the least. But, ever the gentleman, he agreed to a compromise. He would allow me an hour or so to myself and then he would return to escort me home. It still did not totally appease him but there was little he could deny me. A fact I felt ill-at-ease abusing tonight, knowing where it would lead.

As I watched him glance around nervously I wondered if he felt the charge in the air as well, and simply chose to ignore it. I couldn't help but wonder just how much did my old playmate refuse to acknowledge?

He pressed a sweet kiss to my lips as he bid me adieu and I couldn't help the delicate blush it produced. Such a charming and devoted fiancé. Why couldn't it be enough?

"I love you, Lotte." He murmured.

I tried so hard, but I could no longer return his words and so I only smiled.

It bothered me for some unknown reason that he had not said my name. I was still only his Little Lotte. Not a woman, still a girl.

Looking at Raoul's handsome face once more before I closed the door, I couldn't help but feel the distance yawning between us; a bitter chasm, I so wished didn't exist!

I felt infinitely older in that moment and yet still so very naïve.

Ever the lost little Lotte of so long ago.

Guilt weighed heavily upon me as I locked the door.

I knew Raoul would return to find an empty room.

I was alone once more, but not for long.

The Angel was coming.

I didn't bother to light the lamps in the room, I merely lit a candle and placed it before me on my dresser. Sinking to the floor, I cradled my head in my hands as the night's revelations overwhelmed me. Why did I have to feel so at fault for our little tragedy? I was certainly not the only one to blame!

All my life I had been lied to; first by Father, then Erik and now Raoul…

Father promised me the Angel of Music…well there is no Angel! I no longer believe in fairytales and happy endings.

There is no Angel…but there is Erik, the man who, upon revealing his lies, made me face the truth and grow up.

And Raoul, he told me I would be free. But I will never be free…I think even he knows that.

So I was not the only one at fault here! Oh God, how did everything go so wrong?

What kept me here, when I had all the means to be free?

I was so afraid I knew the answer to that…

Tears overflowed from my eyes and I could do little to stop it, so caught up in self-pity and sorrow.

I was tired…weary in fact. I so longed to be free! Yet even when my dear childhood sweetheart offered me freedom and security through his love, I couldn't relinquish my chains. I hesitated and begged to sing one last time for Erik. My chains were his…we are bound to each other, my Erik and I. The fallen Angel and his little orphaned protégé. What a pair!

For so long I have hid behind pity, denied ever feeling any deeper for this unearthly man…and yet I can do so no longer!

Did I not prove it to myself tonight?

I knew this would happen, I knew!

And a part of me welcomed it!

Our connection is so much more complex and profound than anything I have ever known! So agonising and yet so darkly beautiful!

He calls to that shadowed part of my soul with his heavenly voice and intoxicating presence. There is so much I feel for him and yet I can not put it into words!

It terrifies me…are feelings such as these not improper?

How had Raoul put it earlier?

_**Love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. **_

Was he right?

Dearest Raoul…Why couldn't I reconcile myself to simply leaving with him and becoming his wife, living a respectable life…safe, loved…unfulfilled…empty…Oh God!

What a mess I've made for myself! Too frightened to surrender to Erik and too unsure to be content with Raoul.

After tonight though, I knew it wouldn't matter. It would all end tonight one way or another. I am ashamed to admit that I was glad of it…I hardly had the strength to fight it anymore.

My decision was made, it was the only way to save us all…

I am unsure how long I sat there on the floor, gazing at the flickering flame of that lone candle. Somehow it seemed poignant to watch it's futile battle to expel the darkness in the room. The struggle was so much greater than itself. I imagined that if it could feel, it would, despite itself, experience some pleasure when it finally flickered out. The battle would be over…it would have done its best.

We were alike in a way.

"And now you are comparing yourself to a candle? _Wonderful_!" I huffed sarcastically.

"I feel I must agree. You are both lights in the darkness." The whispered voice slid over me like a caress. I knew who stood behind me in the silence of the room. _Erik_. I had not heard him enter but I hadn't expected to. My day of judgement was upon me.

Slowly, I brought my gaze up to look at him through the mirror behind the candle. I was not brave enough to face him yet. The pain that shone in his expressive eyes and the sorrow that seemed to radiate from him made a sob catch in my throat. It was too much! Looking at the devastation that my words had caused made me feel unworthy to be in his presence. He had given me everything and I had destroyed him.

"You know why I have come." It wasn't a question, and for the first time I noticed the barely restrained anger in his tone. I couldn't look at him as I responded, couldn't bear the shame. "Yes." I whispered miserably. I had been prepared for his uncontrollable anger, his almost tender but forced calm was confusing. But I was always unsure in Erik's presence.

Slowly he approached me from behind, I didn't dare move. Gently, he drew his fingertips along my tear-stained cheek, and a sigh escaped me unbidden. He wore no gloves and his hands were unusually warm. They left a trail of fire in their wake as they slid down to my neck, encircling it.

"_Why_?" I was surprised to hear what sounded like a sob follow his question. Again I risked looking at him through the mirror before us. He was gazing intently back at me and I watched in horrified fascination as a lone tear trickled down his exposed cheek.

"I don't know." I could think of nothing else to say that wouldn't hurt him further. The sight of that tear tore at my heart.

His hand tightened slightly around my neck, " Liar! Tell me!" He seethed.

"I was frightened!" I cried, the tears coming faster now, "I didn't understand what I was feeling…you were suddenly so real and I…Raoul was…"

"Safe." He made the word sound like the worst insult, and it made me angry.

Breaking free from his grip, I stood up quickly, leaning on the dresser to keep myself steady.

The candle guttered dangerously.

"What did you expect from me? You lied, you…killed, and yet still I lo…"

_Loved you! _Abruptly I halted my rant. I couldn't admit to it, not now when he surely wouldn't believe me. It would only hurt him more. I had already hurt him so much…as he had hurt me.

Why did I only realise the strength of my feelings now? Now, when it may have been too late! No, I had to stay strong…I had made my decision, I had! I would face my fate whatever it may be.

Again he came close to me, but he didn't touch me this time.

"I did everything that I did for you! You wanted an Angel, I tried to become one…but I am not an Angel, Christine. I am only Erik. Only Erik…"

The utter misery in that phrase was unbearable.

"That is all you needed to be. Only Erik."

My soft words caused him to pull away from me with a growl, he was not ready to believe them. After tonight, would he ever be?

"What of the boy, my dear?" he sneered, "What is he to you, hmm? Only Raoul?"

The words seemed to choke him and I could sense his anger rising.

"I cannot explain. I fear nothing I say will ever be good enough. Oh, Erik…"

Against my will, I began to weep again. The fallen Angel and his little orphaned protégé, what a pair indeed!

The sight of my tears seemed to break the hold his anger was gaining on him.

"Please don't cry. You know I cannot bear it."

Strong arms came around my waist and I leant into his embrace. I was so very tired.

This unexpected tenderness allowed me to hope that perhaps I hadn't lost Erik to ungovernable rage.

"Forgive me! Please do not hate me, you know _**I**_ couldn't bear it!"

"Sssh! Never." I couldn't say whether this meant he could never forgive me or never hate me...or both. I didn't ask.

I cried in his arms until I could cry no more. I was spent, completely and utterly.

Still holding me against him, Erik began to whisper in my ear,

"You have destroyed me, betrayed me, you know this." I flinched but nodded grimly.

"I want…to hurt you, as you have hurt me. But I find I cannot! However…"

His grip tightened almost painfully and despite his claims, I worried that perhaps he would kill me now and be done with it after all.

"I cannot, _will not, _allow you to run off with that child! Oh, yes, Erik heard everything! You are mine Christine! You will always be mine! Tonight we will leave this place together, as you would have left with him! You will learn to love me as I love you! You will! Oh, Christine!"

He buried his face in my hair, shaking with repressed emotion. His voice had become increasingly desperate as he spoke and he still held me tightly.

Perhaps he expected me to resist, to fight him but I had made my decision as soon as I closed the door on my dear Raoul.

Closed the door of my dressing room and the door in my heart.

There was so much I wanted to say to this man who held me but it was not the time. For now I was a liar in his eyes, I would have to change his opinion of me before I changed his opinion of him.

So, instead, I merely replied, "Yes, Erik."

The look in his eyes when I agreed caused a wave of apprehension to crash over me. His love and devotion was so overwhelming at times. Was I strong enough for this? Or should I run now…give up again?

"Then let us go, now!" There was almost excitement in his tone now…excitement and hope, perhaps even some fear.

Again I hesitated, like the weak child I no longer wished to be.

"No." I gasped. I hadn't meant to say it, truly I hadn't.

"No?" I had hurt him again.

Perhaps it would be better if he killed me. But, then again, this was a sort of death, was it not?

Why couldn't I be strong now like he deserved?

Dropping my eyes from his pained expression, I found my gaze wandering to the candle atop the dresser again. It was still fighting…

"Give me until the candle flickers out." I whispered. This strange request confused him but it soothed him also. I had agreed to leave with him. I was finally his.

"As you wish, my love." he breathed into my ear, causing me to shiver.

I could see him regarding the candle with intense curiosity.

At first, I thought he meant to blow it out, so that he could take me away at once.

But he didn't.

He merely stood waiting, as he had always waited for me…silently, lovingly…

I needed this last reprieve..

In those final moments I allowed my fear and uncertainty free reign for the last time.

I was no longer choosing the safe or the easy path, and despite how it seemed I was finally deciding something for myself. I was leaving behind all I had ever known, both willingly and unwillingly.

(There was no possible way for me to be completely willing in that moment.)

In some ways I still feared Erik but I think I was beginning to fear life without him even more. This was the only way to save everyone. Raoul would find someone who loved him enough to be content as his wife. Erik would have me at last and forever. And I would not have to destroy the men I loved anymore or watch them destroy each other.

I had to believe I would be happy. I would, though the fear of the unknown still gripped me.

I loved Erik but I was so, so afraid.

"_Goodbye Raoul_." I whispered into the stillness.

Erik pretended not to hear.

The candle began to die, releasing me from my dark thoughts.

I watched Erik through the mirror in those last seconds. The light played over his gleaming white mask creating layers of shadows.

The effect was eerie and yet mesmerizing. It hid his expression from me but I liked to think he was smiling, his anger forgotten in the wake of his triumph.

This was it, the beginning of forever.

Only when the darkness finally claimed the room did I turn to Erik at last, and allowed him to draw me fully into his embrace as he led me through the mirror one last time.

I knew I would never see this place again. We would disappear together, he and I, almost like real ghosts; off to haunt another opera perhaps?

Like the candle I experienced a sort of twisted pleasure.

The battle was over, I had done my best…

Only then could I admit how much I loved him, and the ecstasy I felt in the darkness with him, as his cold, soft lips met mine.

Only when the candle flickered out…

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So, there ya have it! Hope you enjoyed it. Please review!

**_x Restless And Tempted x_**


	2. A Rose For The Forgotten

**A/N: ****Thank you all so much for your reviews, you wouldn't believe how happy they made me! **

**And, as you may have guessed, those of you that asked me to continue this story have convinced me to do so! **

**As it is my first multi-chapter phic I ask that you bear with me as I get into the swing of things. I really want to make this the best phic it can be and I hope you'll stick by me. Your opinions and helpful suggestions are, of course, highly valued.**

**So here we go, deeper into the rabbit hole...exciting isn't it? I hope so. (",)**

**We resume a little while after Christine and Erik have left throught the mirror, this time with a chapter from Raoul's POV (a character I have no intention of villifying I assure you). Slightly shorter but a vital chapter in setting things up for later I promise. **

**Oh, and for the purpose of this chapter Raoul knows that the rose with the ribbon is a sign of Erik and that he is pleased with Christine.**

**Hope you enjoy it, please don't forget to review and let me know what you think. **

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Chapter 2

_**A Rose For The Forgotten**_

"Christine, darling, it is I, Raoul. May I come in now?"

It had been exactly one hour since I had left my Lotte's side. I cannot begin to describe how agonising that hour had been for me. The urge to rush back to her had been incredibly powerful, almost unusually strong. It was only my respect for her wishes that kept me from acting on my instincts. My love had asked for an hour and so I gave her an hour. I would give her anything she wished.

I had thought it was the things she had told me that night that had me so anxious. To think that all that time that madman had been terrorising her, shamelessly taking advantage of her grief and susceptibility to music. The voice of an angel, indeed! Luring her like that, preying on her innocence…such scandalous indecency! Those were not the actions of an angel. There would be no more of it, I would see to that.

However, I could not help but fear that Christine's imaginative nature had a part to play in this fiasco. My poor Lotte was always prone to daydreams when we were playmates. It seemed, that for her sake, this would be another thing that I would have to help her overcome. We could not, after all, play make believe as we once did, especially if we were to be married. Oh, I would make her so happy as my wife that she would have no need for fantasies.

Yet to believe in the man's lies for so long was almost incomprehensible!

Of course, there was another explanation for all that she had endured. Another reason, one that she hid behind her terror…but no, I couldn't think of that! That she would love that thing was preposterous! She had told me it wasn't true, hadn't she?

Why couldn't I remember?

Shaking off these disconcerting thoughts, I knocked again at the wooden door that concealed my lovely fiancée. _My fiancée_. Repeating the words in my head calmed me as I waited, and waited…and waited.

I do not know why I let so much time pass but eventually the lack of response from within began to unnerve me.

Pressing my ear to the keyhole, I listened with a panicked intensity for sounds from within.

There were none. The room beyond was as silent as a tomb.

The comparison made me shudder and added to my mounting fears.

Perhaps she had merely fallen asleep? Yes, that was perfectly reasonable! She had seemed so weary when I left her…weary and almost anxious…

No, it couldn't be! I had thought I had felt someone following us but it couldn't have been _him_! No one was following us because no one knew where we were. We had spoken on the roof, away from his dark domain! We were safe up there! She had told me so herself!

No, he had nothing to do with this…but I had to get into that room and see for myself that she was just sleeping. That she was safe.

I tried to turn the handle, only to find it was locked. Why would she have locked it when she knew that I was coming back for her? Panic had truly gotten its claws into me now. Without stopping to think, I threw myself against the door repeatedly until it was forced to crash open under my assault. There was no other thought in my head now but Christine.

Stumbling into her room, I called her name, desperate to hear her lovely voice. She would probably scold me for making so much noise at such an hour. Such a sweet, compassionate girl, my fiancée was. _My fiancée_.

But there was no response. The room was in darkness, with only the weak light from the corridor providing any illumination.

I scanned the room wildly but there was no one there. My God, there was no one there! She couldn't have left the room, as the key was on a hook by the door, so she couldn't have locked it. I had only left her for an hour, how could this have happened?

I didn't see her leave…I saw no one leave!

Tearing around the room, I pulled the place apart, searching…for Christine, for anything that would make me understand where she was. I didn't even have the presence of mind to light a lamp to aid me in my search. It was of no consequence though…there were no clues for me to find.

In despair, I dropped to my knees as a terrifying realisation began to form in my mind. Surely there was only one explanation for this!

_He _had heard after all.

Why had I ignored that feeling of being followed earlier? I should have demanded that Christine leave with me immediately, that it wasn't safe for her here any longer! But she had wanted to sing for that monster one more time…had wanted an hour to prepare to go home…had looked weary, yet almost anxious…

Suddenly a new thought began to force its way into being and, if possible, it was even more horrifying than the first! Glancing around at the mess I had made, I realised that there were no obvious signs of a struggle. But surely if her teacher had tried to take her she would have fought him…wouldn't she have? Unless she went willingly…NO! Never, she would never do that! We were to be married! I was to save her from him!

Maybe I was mistaken. Maybe she had left after all, and someone else with a key had locked the room. She had not gone with him willingly. I could not, would not, believe that she had. He was a monster, a murderer! She would never be happy with him. It was I that loved her, and she loved me…she did.

No, she would never…My mind went blank as I looked up and spotted the one thing that confirmed my fears and shattered my hopes.

For there, before the dresser, illuminated by the light from the corridor, was a single red rose tied with a black ribbon.

His mark. A sign of his pleasure, and now a sign of his triumph.

He had stolen my Christine from right under my nose. He had my fiancée.

It was there and then that I shut my remaining doubts and suspicion away in a dark corner of my mind, hoping they would never see the light of day again.

Christine had not left me of her own free, she had been stolen from me. I would not doubt this nor would I doubt her love for me. We had been fated for each other since our childhood. She needed me now desperately, needed me to be strong. We would be together again!

Breathing deeply, I forced myself to regain some semblance of control over myself. Christine needed me. I would find her, and so help that creature known as Erik when I did! I would search every corner of the Earth for her.

Calm again and fuelled by steely resolve, I rose from the floor. I walked over to the rose and picked it up, clenching it tightly. Looking up I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I looked so far from my usual carefree self, as though I was prepared for battle…and I was.

There were a few candles before me on the dresser.

One was completely burnt down.

Taking up a match, I lit the one closest to it.

Into the stillness I spoke to my poor Christine, "Christine, I swear I will find you, wherever you have been taken. I will rescue you, Lotte, just as I rescued your scarf so long ago. I will take you into the light with me, away from the darkness that smothers you, as I promised. I promise you…I promise!"

With that vow made, I held that cursed rose over the candle's flame and burned it to ash…

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And so it begins...(",) Let me know what you think.


	3. Silence is Deafening

_**A/N: **_**Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the reviews! They are like little rays of sunshine. And I was so glad to see you came back and reviewed again, bwayphantomrose. You were one of the people whose review helped me decide to continue this, so thanks again for reviewing!**

**So onto the next chapter. We are back with Christine and Erik. It begins with a little reflection from a diary of Christine's from a future point (not so distant or distant, who knows!(",) ) Then we pick up right where we left off, at the point where they have passed through the mirror.**

**Enjoy! As always, please review and let me know what you think! (",)**

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Chapter 3

_**Silence Is Deafening**_

_I knew that life with Erik would not be an easy one. I had always known that, it was part of the reason why I had hesitated so long in my decision to surrender to him. _

_He was a difficult and wounded man, so badly damaged by the world he had all but turned his back on it. _

_I was faced with the daunting task of drawing him back into it. _

_I, who was, in some ways, just as damaged as him. But I had made my choice; he was more often the one who needed convincing of that fact. _

_Our path was certainly not a smooth one…_

- **Extract from the Diary of Christine**

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As the mirror closed behind us, and his lips met mine, Erik seemed to forget any hesitancy he may have had about sharing such intimacy with me. We had never kissed before; he had never even boldly caressed me when I wasn't under the spell of his heavenly voice. He had embraced me earlier only because the sight of my tears always seemed to break through his many defences a little. With Erik, all contact had been gentle, almost ghostly and so painfully hesitant, though he tried not to show it.

But basking in the afterglow of his joyous triumph, he was in control as his lips moved over mine, and for that blissful moment I lost myself in his embrace. Such passion I felt, such love. I felt like crying all over again but I was afraid he would misinterpret my tears.

However, all things must end and our first kiss was no exception. As we drew apart, I felt a shudder pass through him. Reality was setting in, and I watched sadly as his eyes lost their dreamy joy and became guarded again. I knew that there was nothing I could do in that moment to break through to him, he was still so vulnerable. Instead, I merely offered him my hand. I tried to smile but the withdrawal of his warmth had affected me more than I ever would have expected. The tunnel had become unbearably cold.

Sadness continued to pierce my aching heart as Erik regarded my outstretched hand with a wary intensity. I had never initiated physical contact between us. Most of the times we touched I was barely myself, never fully aware of the importance of such a simple thing as physical contact. It would always be important to Erik.

I received it everyday but Erik… He'd once told me that his mother could barely hold him when he was an infant. Touch to Erik meant cruelty, I so longed to erase that.

I wanted to embrace him again and I marvelled at my newfound strength…and couldn't help but worry about when it ran out.

The air was charged with tension and I felt I couldn't bear to stand there a moment more. I gave him no more time to think about it, I would have to be bolder if I wanted to be happy with Erik. I grabbed his hand and held on tight when he tried to pull it away.

"Please, it is so dark, I simply cannot walk unassisted. Please…"

I thought I detected a flash of hurt in his eyes but he hid it quickly. Perhaps my rationalization for holding his hand made it seem too trivial for him. I had only done so to make him feel more comfortable, instead, it seemed I had robbed him of an important moment. I squeezed his hand gently; it was all the apology I could give him. The slight softening of his eyes gave me hope that he understood.

I thought he would instantly hurry us along but still we lingered just beyond the mirror, in darkness aside from a weak torch on the wall. It was by the light of this that I caught a glimpse of the rose, on the floor in my room…A room that Raoul would be returning to soon.

Expecting to find me, instead he would find that lonely rose…and he would know. A new sense of urgency filled me, not allowing me any time to mourn my lost romance. It was of the utmost importance that we be far from this place by the time Raoul pieced things together. A confrontation between he and Erik would end in nothing but death and despair. And I couldn't bear the thought of either man's demise.

"We must go, now!" I urged, attempting to pull Erik along with me, despite being disorientated by the darkness. But Erik held fast, effectively stopping me and causing my frustration and unease to mount.

He had been so eager to be away from the place just a moment before and now he wanted to linger!

Turning back to him I was startled to find that he had moved closer. There was a strange look in his eyes. They seemed to gleam and it was dangerously intoxicating. But I knew that we could not stay there any more, our time was running out.

"Erik, please, we must go! Ra…I will soon be missed."

It was only after the words had left my mouth, and I watched the rejection manifest itself in his ever-changing eyes, that I realised that he had meant to try and kiss me again.

And I had rejected his advances…inadvertently, of course, but it made no difference in his eyes. _Well, we are off to a good start are we not, my Angel?_

I think he sensed that part of my eagerness to be on our way had to do with Raoul. It only added to the fresh wound on his ego that I had inflicted.

There was anger in his grip now as he began to lead me through the darkness, leaving the torch on the wall. I could feel it barely restrained, simmering just under the surface, and I wondered if this was what our life would be like together.

A labyrinth of misunderstandings and pain, through which we would stumble blindly, always knocking each other down.

I had chosen Erik and I was not about to change my mind, but I did not want to live like that for the rest of my life.

The rest of our journey was made in silence. Down, down, down we went. I had forgotten how deep down Erik's home was. It was like being led down into the Underworld. But my old life was dead now, so this was fitting, no?

The silence began to torment me. Finally, having crossed the lake, we arrived at Erik's home.

"Go. Pack." Erik released my hand as though it was poisonous, and turned his back on me as he retreated to his own room. His door swung shut with a bang.

Now I was the one to feel the bitter sting of rejection. Miserably, I entered the room here that was deemed mine, and began to pack things in a satchel that I found in the wardrobe. I didn't mind that I had no clothes from home to pack. The things Erik had purchased for me where so much finer, and I had no real personal items that I would miss. They were all here, in this strange yet fascinating home.

It occurred to me that I had no idea where we were going, and so had no real idea of what to bring. But I didn't dare disturb Erik yet. So I merely filled the bag with as much as I could find, and hoped it would be suitable. Taking a deep breath, I dared to leave the room and search for Erik.

I did not have to look far. He had returned to the main room, apparently packed and ready to go. He was not facing me. He was looking to the side and absentmindedly touching his lips. "My first." He whispered to himself.

Instantly, I knew to what he referred. Our kiss in the tunnel earlier…it had been his first. I hadn't really thought about it but it was so obvious now. If he had rarely been touched, how could he have been kissed?

Walking towards him, I reached out to caress his face, praying he would allow it. He did. The look on his face was so strangely childlike, that I felt a sob catch in my throat. He gasped quietly and his eyes slid shut as I brushed my thumb across his lip. "Oh, Angel…" I murmured. His eyes snapped open and he pulled away from me sharply. "Do not call me that! Never again."

He was like a wounded animal, recoiling from me and lashing out to protect himself.

"But you were, you are…you will always be."

"NO!" His shout startled us both. "The Angel is dead. There is only Erik here. You promised that would be enough. Would you go back on your word again, Christine?" The last words were hurled cruelly at me and I visibly flinched.

How could I make him understand that, flawed as he was, he and the Angel were one and the same? That they were mine. That I loved them both. It would take time.

His reaction proved to me that I was still not trusted, still not forgiven.

Perhaps if I told him I loved him now, he would sense the truth of my words, and allow me to spend the rest of my life showing him how true they were. Yes, that would help to heal him, wouldn't it? Perhaps then he would forgive me. I so wanted forgiveness!

Again, I reached for him, "Erik, I lo…" He turned away before I could finish.

His voice was quiet and strained, "No, Christine." I was starting to hate that word.

"I cannot listen to this tonight. I could not believe…I cannot believe! Not now! Not now." Such pain radiating from his voice, and finding a home in my heart.

I had tried to bring us closer and still he kept me at arms' length. He wasn't ready, would he ever be? Tears began to trail silently down my face.

"We will travel to a house I own outside the city. Once there, I will plot our next move." His voice had regained a certain composure. But as he turned to me the sight of my tears broke through the coldness in his eyes, once again.

He raised his hand to my face but did not make contact with it; still I felt the heat of his hand as though he had. "Christine I lo…"

"No, Erik…I…not now." If I could not say it to him, how could I allow him to say it to me? No, I knew he loved me but in that moment I didn't want to hear it, knowing that he didn't believe in _my _love.

I expected him to be angry but he merely nodded sadly and dropped his hand.

I think he understood.

I closed my eyes to calm myself and was surprised to feel Erik's lips on my forehead. I could hardly say that he pressed them to it for it was much too soft for that.

His kiss was like a butterfly brushing its wings against my skin, and I couldn't help but lean into it. Drawing back, he continued to surprise me as he held out his hand to me. I knew what it took for him to do this and so I did not hesitate in placing my hand in his. It seemed that, perhaps, Erik had realised that he would have to be bold also. This was a hopeful sign, surely, it was.

Without another word, we were on our way. Once more, I followed as he led, no light to guide him.

We made not a sound but the air thrummed with all we did not say. The silence was deafening…

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Love to know what you think, so please review, after all...Reviews mean Happy Authoress which means more motivation for Updates!

**_x Restless and Tempted x_**


	4. Out of Sight, Out of Mind

_**A/N:**_**Thank you all for your reviews! Your lovely words are dearly appreciated, and very motivational might I add.**

**So here's the next chapter. It begins in Christine's POV (with another diary extract from Christine to set us up a bit), and ends in Erik's POV.**

**I know that in the original book Cesar (the Opera's missing horse) is white, but I feel that the black horse in the film is more aesthetically pleasing and much more stealthy for night-time escapes, don't you think? (",)**

**Alright enough from me, now let the tale continue to unfold...**

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Chapter 4

_**Out of Sight, Out of Mind**_

_I often dream of that house…of the little moments that occurred within its walls that held deeper meaning than I had originally perceived…I understand it all a little better now,__ I believe. _

_Everything happens for a reason. I must believe that._

_I've never returned there...to that house._

_I suppose there's nothing really to return to…Dreams are all I have left of it._

_I wonder how much Erik remembers of our time there. Are they fond memories?_

**- Extract from Christine's Diary**

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We left the Opera House through the hidden passageway that brought us to the Rue Scribe. Upon exiting through the hidden gate there, I found a horse there. A majestic black creature; I instantly knew it was the opera's missing horse, Cesar.

It seemed to be waiting for us, though it was tethered to nothing. Looking at the horse, saddled and ready, it struck me that Erik had been a little more prepared to leave tonight than I had originally thought. Readying the horse had probably been the reason it had taken him longer than I expected to reach me.

Being out in the air I felt panic begin to rise within me. This was real now.

Inside the Opera House it was like a different world. A world of dreams and nightmares, of shadows and light.

It was in that world that I had made my choice to go with Erik but here in this world, reality made the choice seem quite frightening again. Was I mad? I was leaving behind everything for a man who couldn't even believe that I loved him!

But I did love him. So perhaps I was mad. I loved him so I couldn't leave him now, nor could I allow him to notice my momentary recoil. With great determination, I pushed the panic down deep into a neglected corner of my mind. I could not allow it any hold on me. Erik needed me to be strong, as he had been for me when I was but a child. I needed myself to be strong…

I need not have worried about Erik noticing my moment of panic though, for he was experiencing one of his own. He stood frozen, his gaze shifting between Cesar and myself in worried concentration. At first I was puzzled, but it didn't take long for me to figure out the reason for his hesitation. There was one horse…and two of us.

Once more Erik would have to conquer his hesitation regarding forms of intimacy. No matter how slight the intimacy may be. I feared he was being pushed to his limit this night.

I really wanted to rid him of his discomfort but I had no idea how to go about doing so. Especially considering the fact that the idea of Erik's arms around me was producing an interesting reaction within me. I wanted him to hold me but I didn't want it to cause him such trouble.

"Erik had thought that Christine would…would not be herself when we left. This was unexpected and for that he is sorry…but…"

It was upsetting still to think that Erik had meant to spirit me away against my will. He had probably planned to unleash the full power of his voice on me, drug me or do something equally desperate in a bid to get me away with him. It almost made me angry.

But, as I watched him compose himself and gather the courage to break down some of the walls that, for both our sakes, he had put between us I felt oddly proud…even somewhat elated. That, of course, made it impossible for me to stay angry at him.

"But what?" I asked softly. Erik drew himself up to his full height but there was a vulnerability in his eyes.

"We shall have to continue as planned to my house on horseback, which means we shall have to ride together. Unless of course that is too much for you Christine…you have been so good…you are here and I do not wish to make you uncomfortable…I…"

Oh, the pain of watching him doubt himself, and doubt me.

"Erik…" He was silenced immediately.

The sound of his name always affected him. I suppose so few had afforded him the decency of calling him by it. So few had known it.

"I will ride with you. Being close to you does not make me uncomfortable…not how you think it does…it makes me feel…I…"

I sighed at my inability to explain myself in a way that he could accept. Everything was still so new for us. It was he who had the way with words. I was only a singer, he was the composer. I had only ever sung what I was told and this was a song I had not memorised.

"You will understand one day." I finished lamely.

Glancing up at him, I was startled by the look in his eyes. I thought I had failed to express the rather shocking feelings I derived from his touch but his eyes told me otherwise. Such fire! I had always believed that Erik was as innocent as I when it came to such matters but it was moments like this that made me think otherwise.

When he looked at me so, when he sang or played… Erik may have been afraid to touch me but I was starting to realise that it was possibly for more reasons than I had originally thought.

He was unfamiliar with intimacy, yes, but…perhaps it wasn't that he didn't want it, but that he wanted it…very much. I was unsure what I felt about this. Excitement or fear? Or both?

With a confidence I had not expected he held out his hand to me. There was a powerful magnetism in his movements that I had not seen in quite some time and I was helplessly drawn to him. He assisted me onto Cesar's back before swinging himself up gracefully behind me.

There was a moment of awkwardness when Erik enfolded me in his arms, both to take the reigns and keep me from toppling from the horse. But it wasn't enough to disguise the charge that suddenly filled the air. I almost wanted to demand that one of us walk. Almost. It seemed that what he made me feel still had the power to frighten me. So, perhaps I was not as grown up as I had thought. But there was time for me to grow.

Almost without realising it I leaned back into Erik's embrace. He gasped and the air thickened further…but then we were off. A dark blur as Erik drove Cesar to sprout wings in an effort to move us faster. Somehow I managed to drift off, feeling unexpectedly safe. My dreams were consumed by shadows that burned.

I awoke when Erik lifted me from the horse. The sun was high in the sky.

Upon seeing that I was awake, he gently lowered me to the ground and I got my first good look at my new, albeit temporary, home.

It was beautiful. Ivy-covered, it almost blended with its surroundings; obviously Erik had intended it to be so. It consisted of two floors, and while not overly large, it certainly wasn't small either. There was something ethereal about it which captivated me. We appeared to be deep in a wooded area but I had no idea as to where our location actually lay. I sensed that we were no longer in Paris, but that was all I could guess. I did not know whether Erik wanted to keep it a secret and so I decided not to ask just yet.

The interior was just as captivating as the exterior. Marble and wood seemed to be the favoured materials and they were used to perfection. An elegant chandelier hung above our heads in the foyer but I didn't allow my gaze to rest on it for too long.

Erik was far too preoccupied with chandeliers if I recalled correctly.

"My dear," Turning to face him, I found Erik beckoning me into what appeared to be the parlour. This house certainly was bigger than it appeared from the outside. Another trick of Erik's I supposed. We sat and Erik regarded me closely before continuing.

"We must lay low for now. We shall stay here for a time until I have decided upon a safe location for us to move to. Once there we shall hopefully be able to stay there and…what is it, Christine?"

I couldn't help but show my unease at Erik's plan. How could I put this delicately?

"Erik…I…I do not wish to spend my life running. Isn't there some way that we don't have to? Why can't we stay here? The house seems perfectly charming and I can run all our errands if you prefer and…" I trailed off as I watched a dark expression cross his face.

"Does Christine not trust in her Erik? Does she believe that he cannot take care of her?" He all but jumped from his seat and flew into my face. "Do you regret your choice yet, my sweet? Do you! Do…"

"Erik, stop it!" I screamed as I flew from my seat. I would not take this from him after I had given up so much to be here. He was shocked; it had been rare indeed that I stood up to him. I watched as remorse flooded his being. He dropped to his knees before me and held out his arms in supplication.

"Christine, my Angel, forgive me. It is in Erik's nature to doubt, but he is trying…for you, he is trying. We will not always have to run, not always, I promise. Erik will fix everything. He can do anything for you! I will care for you as you should be cared for. As Ra…as you would have been cared for. I promise. Do you believe Erik when he promises? Oh, say you do!"

Watching him kiss the hem of my skirt as tears gathered in his eyes moved me greatly. Once again my anger left me. I was suddenly weary.

I dropped to my knees beside him, and ignoring his instant stiffening, I wrapped my arms around him. "Oh, poor, unhappy Erik! _My_ poor, unhappy Erik. We must take care of each other, don't you see? I am not so much a child anymore. We must learn to rely on each other, learn to trust. You are not alone any longer."

He drew back a little in my embrace but he did not leave it and for this I was glad. Though he did not return it.

"Erik is not unhappy. Not so long as you are here. I will try but it is difficult. My mind is…it is dark inside so often that sometimes Erik can't see. But he…I want to. I will!"

We stayed like that for some time until reluctantly Erik stood and helped me up also.

"We must only stay hidden for a time. Out of sight, out of mind, Christine. I have found that can be true. We will be careful until they forget, and they will. They always forget. Out of sight, out of mind. It can be so, it can."

_Out of sight, out of mind. _Why did it strike me that these were words that Erik lived by, more so than he let on. Under the Opera House he lived out of sight so that none of humanity's cruelty could reach him. He hid his face behind his mask so that none would have to look at it, not even himself.

_Out of sight, out of mind. _Those words made me want to cry.

Erik took his leave of me then, claiming that he had some work for our future to attend to. I had a feeling he just needed time to compose himself. Sharing his emotions was still a strange concept for Erik, so I let him go without comment.

I wandered the house, checking each room. There were three bedrooms, a locked room (in which I supposed Erik was holed up), a kitchen, a dining room, a parlour, a library/study, two bathrooms and of course, a music room. For a man who loathed his reflection the place was certainly full of mirrors. However they all remained covered, apart from an ornate one in one of the bedrooms. The house was certainly impressive.

As I walked through the rooms I couldn't help but wonder where Erik and I would go when the time came. What our life would be like together. My mind even wandered to the ones that I had left behind, Meg, Madame Giry…Raoul…

What became of him when he realised I was gone? What had he felt? Anger, pain? Or betrayal, as Erik had?

I felt a pang as I thought of him. My dear, sweet Raoul. No, no longer mine. He hadn't deserved to be dragged into this. So brave and loyal. Suddenly I was filled with dread.

I began to fear that he would come looking for me. It was a thought that had never occurred to me before but now, thinking about Raoul's nature, I questioned why it hadn't.

He was so very much the hero in this tale. And the hero always rescued his damsel in distress. But real life was not as simple as fairytales. I did not need rescuing, but he didn't know that. Oh God, the horror that would befall him should he try to take me from Erik! I almost went to warn Erik but something told me not to. Raoul's very name was taboo for me now. It hurt Erik to hear it, I could tell. No, I couldn't voice my concerns. I could only hope they were needless.

I finally settled in the library but I could hardly focus on the book I had chosen. My mind kept straying to my elusive Angel. It had been hours since I had seen Erik. I wasn't even entirely sure where he was anymore. I had assumed that he would stay by my side all day, eager to please, eager to be near me. Was I a little disappointed?

Since Cesar remained in the tiny stable by the house, I assumed he was still somewhere inside.

His absence was beginning to affect me.

At the beginning of our acquaintance, when I still believed him to be an angel, I had always missed him when he left me. More recently my fear of the newly discovered man behind the Angel had overpowered that old feeling. Yet I had always craved his praise and even, though I denied it, his presence. It seemed that those old feelings were returning…but stronger than before now that I was hiding nothing from myself. I missed him; I wanted to be with him.

The house was losing some of its initial charm now that I was alone. While still beautiful it seemed cold now, empty, and full of impenetrable shadows as evening set in.

"Oh, Erik…where are you hiding? Why are you hiding from your Christine?"

I whispered into the shadows, almost hoping that I felt his presence there.

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_**Erik's POV**_

I had trailed her all day without her knowledge. Erik was not known as the Phantom for nothing. She had truly looked like an angel gliding through this house, bringing light wherever she went. Such a vision! She almost burned my eyes.

I had tried to stay away and get some planning done. I had also needed time to be alone, time to think. But I soon found I was so very tired of being alone.

Still, I tried to stay away. I had assumed that Christine needed time to think as well. A lot had happened in such a short time and even more had changed. I was no longer alone. That sweet child had chosen me. She had left behind her boy for me, for her Erik.

And so I found I couldn't stay away from her for very long.

I could still barely believe she was here. And alas, I could still barely believe her… She had tried to tell me the thing I had so longed to hear and I just…I could not hear it! Erik has only known loneliness, only darkness and lies. It is hard to believe. It is hard to forgive. It is almost painful. But Christine is worth pain. I think I could die for her if she asked me. And so I could not…cannot stay away. All day I followed in the shadows.

I watched as she examined the house with undisguised joy. That it pleased her so made me happy. It had been made for her after all. I had built it for her before I even knew it was her's. But we couldn't stay here forever.

I was not naïve. I expected the boy would not give her up without a fight. Such a brave, impetuous young fellow. I would've admired that had I not disliked the poor Vicompte so very greatly. It is difficult to be the one left behind. But it was a lesson that he would have to learn, for now that she was mine, I would not relinquish Christine without a fight either! And Erik does not always fight fair.

I saw the dark thoughts cross her mind as the daylight began to wane. My Christine is not always adept at hiding her true feelings. Not always. But for all my many talents, I could not read her mind, and I hated not knowing what caused her distress.

I wanted to run to her and demand she tell me what was wrong; demand she tell me every little thought that crossed her mind. But I was trying to be better for her. I did not wish to stifle her as others in my position surely would have. A nightingale sings so much better when she is free.

So, I stayed hidden, loving her from the shadows. A familiar feeling. I suppose not everything had changed. Not everything was alright now as if by magic. No, reality is not so merciful.

I long so much to hold my Christine, to touch her…to kiss her…But I want it too much! That frightens me. Yes, the fearless Opera Ghost is reduced to a terrified man. Only flesh and blood, heart and mind, and battered soul. I have never loved so fiercely, never wanted so completely. I must take things slowly or I will consume my little love. And she is not ready for that, neither of us are.

I still couldn't bear to hear those three beautiful words from her. I am still hesitant. Still couldn't give my Angel the words of forgiveness that she needs to hear. But I forgave her…didn't I?

Her expression darkened further and I felt my old companion, doubt creeping back in. Was she happy here with me? No, maybe it was too soon for happiness. But surely she did not wish to leave; leave her Erik to die of a broken heart as I surely would.

Such sadness in those eyes!

"_Oh, Erik…where are you hiding? Why are you hiding from your Christine?"_

She thinks of me. She calls _my_ name, not _his_! She misses me!

Softly I allowed my voice to float around her,

"Christine, your Erik is always with you."

I was overwhelmed by emotion as I witnessed her face light up in response to my call. The shadows melted from her expression and I basked in the radiance of her smile. There was not a strong enough word for what I felt! But it had to be joy. Joy and love! I was drowning in it, but what a beautiful death it was!

I was out of her sight, but not her mind!

As she searched for me I allowed myself to slip from the shadows and join her in the dying light of day.

_Out of sight, not out of mind…_

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As always, please review and let me know what you're thinking!

_**x Restless And Tempted x**_


	5. The First Of Midnight Memories

_**A/N:**_** Hi again, I'm back with the next chapter (insert cheer here ;-) )**

**First of all thank you again to all my reviewers. Your feedback is so wonderful, I love reading it. You are my little inspirations when you review!**

**To those who haven't reviewed yet, please do so, I'd love to hear your opinions also.**

**So back to the story. Christine's POV here as E & C face their first night together in their new house.**

**Enjoy my lovelies! (",)**

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_**The First Of Midnight Memories**_

_Sometimes I believe that all of my best - and worst - memories occurred at night._

_In some ways darkness became my companion; as it had been his constant companion for so long._

_A lifetime of midnight memories__…_

**- Extract From Christine****'****s Diary**

The darkness came rather suddenly. I was so used to the glittering lights of the city that I suppose it had been some time since I truly experienced the darkness of night. There were no lights here in this wood. Only the lamps in our house kept the pitch black of night at bay. I could not help the slight tremor of fear that that notion brought.

As a child I had had my head filled with dark stories and fairytales by my beloved Father. So often, in these tales, such darkness heralded all sorts of terrifying events. I had always feared that one night that nightmarish darkness would claim me. So foolish of me to still allow the echoes of a childhood fear to invade my thoughts.

As I stood there at the front window, looking out into that impenetrable blackness, I couldn't help but laugh a little. Perhaps my fantastical notions had not been so foolish.

The darkness had claimed me after all, had it not?

"What has amused you so, little one?"

I couldn't stifle the small yelp that Erik's unexpected entrance caused. I didn't think I would ever become used to his silent movements.

"Everything and nothing." I smiled wistfully.

_Little Lotte thought of everything and nothing. _

One of Papa's stories. A favourite of mine and R…

It was best to leave that thought unfinished. That pain was still fresh, and I would have to grieve it in private.

Erik was silent at my response. I began to worry that perhaps he had guessed the significance of my words and was not taking it well. It would remind him of all that I wished he would forget.

I turned to face him, fearing the worst. He was closer than I had originally thought.

We had had such a pleasant day that I hated the idea of it being spoiled now.

Erik had come to me when I called out to him, and we had remained together for the rest of the day. He had told me stories and performed wonderful little tricks for me.

It had blissfully kept my mind off everything else. We had discussed no serious matters. We had talked of nothing difficult, for which I was shamefully glad.

There would be time for all that later, but for now I allowed myself to be weak and avoid it.

With Erik it is possible to forget everything else. He is the Master of his craft. I find it difficult to tell just when he begins to draw me with him into those breathless moments.

There are times when no one else exists in the world but he and I. Other times even we don't exist in the world. We are transported to another realm at the Master's command. It is within these moments that one of two things happens; we are either stripped down to our very essence and are truly ourselves, or we are caught up in the magic and can become, for a time, someone we would never dare be.

Erik enjoys that, I know.

It is exhilarating but, I will not lie and say that it isn't a little terrifying also.

I wonder does he even know the power he has over me? Do I?

I was delightfully entertained for the day but he did not offer to sing for me, or I for him. This omission puzzled me. I don't know why but I was troubled by it. Erik always wished to wrap me up in his music, to draw my soul from me in song. Why had he not today? I resolved to keep silent on the matter. For the time being…

I searched his face for the consequences of my words but found not a hint of bad feeling. A flicker of emotion was quickly covered by a mask of gentle indifference. Erik was very good at that. Much of his life had been defined by masks, I was only beginning to realise that. I think I was only really beginning to truly know Erik.

Despite his lack of response, I still felt I had to soothe him.

"They were only words, Erik. I meant nothing by them, you know that."

Such sadness my words provoked in those burning eyes of his, it took my breath away. He began to drift away from me to the door.

"Words are a powerful thing, my dear, make no mistake about that. They can torture you…they can even kill…or haven't you realised that yet?"

I could almost hear my sweet, misguided words to Raoul playing back in Erik's head. Each one like a death blow. I felt like biting off my tongue! Why hadn't I learned yet that words would never be _only _words with Erik? Many things would never be so simple.

I thought he meant to leave me as he reached the door.

"Erik…"

My hand ached to reach for him but only managed to twitch uselessly at my side.

He paused by the doorway.

"I would like to think that not all your words mean nothing. They are very important to Erik, you know. Yes, I would like to think that at least some you mean and hold as dear as Erik does. At least some…"

Just when I would reach a point of unbearable frustration with a situation, he would say something like this, making my heart bleed even more for him.

It was moments like this that allowed me to see past his defences and love him just a little bit more.

"Of course, Erik…" I whispered, holding back my seemingly ever-ready tears. "I hold the words that matter dear. Especially words that are dear to you…or haven't _you _realised that yet?"

He looked at me for an impossible amount of time. Merely looked, and yet I felt such emotion pass between us. In the blink of an eye, he was before me again. The sadness in his eyes was replaced with an all consuming tenderness. Quickly he reached out and took my hand and squeezed it gently. I stood as still as I could lest I frighten him away.

"Time for bed I believe," He said, his voice suddenly low, "It has been a long day. There will be time for words tomorrow. Now, off you go, my dearest."

He reached up with his free hand to pat my head fondly.

I assume this had meant to be a rather generic but affectionate move. However, his hand seemed to have other ideas as it slid down from my head to caress my cheek. The air seemed to weigh heavier all of a sudden.

Again, I tried to stay still, but I couldn't help it as I leaned ever so slowly into his caress. Feeling this, Erik seemed to remember himself and drew back abruptly. He looked so unsure of himself. I was worried he would begin to apologise, and so I did the only think I could think of doing…

"Goodnight Erik." I left.

As soon as I had reached the second floor a new thought struck me.

Where exactly was I to sleep? There were after all three perfectly furnished bedrooms. And, as this thought struck me, another occurred to me. One infinitely more important. Where would Erik sleep?

This had somehow never occurred to me before. Surely, seeing as how he could barely touch me, he wouldn't insist we share a bed. But then again, one was often never entirely sure where Erik was concerned.

Did he think us as good as married now that I had chosen him? Obviously, my choice had meant that I would remain with him forever. Erik's love demanded it be forever. I knew this. But was that as close to marriage as Erik and I would ever be?

Would he now demand his husbandly rights?

I was unsure how I felt about either of these things. Erik had no strong belief in God, no bond to him. But I had. If I were to spend my life with a man and give him all that I was, I would wish it to be within the bonds of holy matrimony. It was not only personal preference but it was what was proper. But what of our relationship thus far had been proper, in any way?

And if he came to me asking that we…that he and I…consummate our eccentric relationship, what would I do then? It was difficult to deny Erik. Would I deny him?

There was no doubt that a dark thrill stole through me at the thought, but that didn't eliminate the fear. We were still so new to romantic intimacy as a pair that it seemed impossible. But Erik was a passionate man…and I did so crave his caresses…

I was now thoroughly confused and nervous. It was too soon, I knew that, and I was sure that Erik did too, yet still…

There was one thing I knew for sure however, if, after a time Erik did not propose marriage I would be very hurt indeed. It seemed silly.

We _were_ practically married, weren't we?

Yet I couldn't help but long for it, to have one little normalcy in our volatile lives. To be a married couple in the eyes of God.

When the time was right of course. There was still much for us to work out I knew.

I wondered if he didn't, would I ever have the courage to bring the subject up?

I just had to push my thoughts aside. They would get me nowhere tonight.

It was late and I _was _rather tired. Eventually I retired to my favourite of the three rooms, changed into my nightgown and climbed into the sinfully comfortable bed.

There was nothing to do now but wait and see…

I am unsure how long I lay there willing myself to sleep. I was exhausted by now. But sleep continued to elude me.

I was waiting for him. I knew that I shouldn't have been but I was.

But waiting for him to do what exactly?

It was very late when the door to my room opened almost soundlessly. I knew it was him. He moved like a shadow himself as he approached my bed. I couldn't help but be mildly amused as I witnessed his shock at my being awake.

I must have been half delirious in my exhaustion for I found myself daring enough to face him in this uncertain moment. I didn't pretend to be asleep, instead I sat up and I spoke to him

"Yes, Erik? Is something the matter?"

Why, I do believe the poor man was properly thrown by my calm tone. Had he expected hysterics should I discover him? It was a few moments before he could form a sentence and even then he stuttered. It was not like Erik to allow his nerves to be so blatantly obvious. He had yet to attempt to hide them. Perhaps he was very tired too.

"Christine, I meant no harm…no offence…I merely, that is to say…" He sighed in embarrassment.

His attempts at explanation had me hiding a smile, but his next words melted my heart with their innocence.

"Forgive me, I only wished to see that you slept peacefully. I worried that you would have troubled dreams…you have been through so much, and I just wanted to be sure…that you were at peace. Just to see you at peace for a moment. Perhaps fix your blankets had they required it, lest you became cold…I would not have taken any liberties! You must believe that…I…"

He lapsed into silence, worn out by his long speech. I smiled at him to soothe him, knowing that he could see it even in the near darkness.

No, I knew Erik would not have taken any liberties. That would have required him to touch me…And Erik was hesitant at best to do that.

I sighed. Why did I suddenly feel so damn frustrated!

"I know Erik, you needn't apologise. I would never accuse you of such a thing. It is fine, really. But…I cannot help you with either of your wishes, for my blankets are quite fixed, as you can see, and it shall be some time before I can sleep. So…what else is there for you to do with me now?"

I don't know why I said what I did. It had to be my fatigue talking. My words had sounded so suggestive! Even I was shocked, and I could tell Erik was too. What exactly was I trying to get myself into?

Was I daring him to ask to share my bed? I didn't want that, I wasn't ready…we weren't ready, right?

Yet, I couldn't help but long for a return to the intimacy we had shared at the Opera. That kiss…it had been perfect, but much too short.

When Erik held me I didn't have to think, I didn't have to doubt…doubt how he felt, how I felt. I didn't have to doubt because I simply knew.

But had my words suggested that which we weren't yet ready to face? Would he agree? Would I? I had not forgotten that Erik was a dangerous man to toy with. Either way, it was not my wish to toy with him. I wanted him to trust me and accept my love.

Slowly, he began to approach me where I sat in my bed. I couldn't help the tremor of fear that ran through me as I clutched my bedclothes tighter to me. I braced myself for what would happen next, what ever it would be. This was my doing. I almost laughed; it seemed I had made my bed and now would have to lie in it…quite literally.

But once again, Erik surprised me…and made me feel quite ashamed for my fearful thoughts.

As innocently as a little boy he reached for my hand and asked nervously, "I-I would ask only that I may hold your hand until you fall asleep. That way Erik could be sure that you were peacefully resting."

I felt tears well in my eyes at the sheer beauty of that tender request. How I loved him, painfully so. Misreading my tears, he tried to draw away, "If it is too much…"

"No, Erik!" I gripped his beautiful hand fiercely, "No, of course not! These are not tears of sadness or fear. I…when you are ready to listen, I will explain their origin."

He still looked somewhat confused but he did not attempt to draw away again.

I cannot say that the fact that he had not requested more did not affect me somewhat. Foolish though it seemed, I was beginning to doubt the manner of love which he had for me. Did he not love me…in that way? I tried to push such thoughts aside.

Turning to look at him, I noticed that he was merely standing by my bed, holding my hand. It couldn't have been comfortable. I was feeling exceptionally bold tonight and so I spoke up once again, (albeit more shyly than I had intended).

"Erik, you cannot be comfortable there. You may…you may get onto the bed beside me if you wish, and…and hold me instead of just standing there. Y-You could hold me, not just my hand…"

Such powerful emotion rose in his eyes at my suggestion. They seemed to glow even brighter in the darkness. My God, I had never seen his eyes so alive!

To think I had doubted the manner of love he had for me! No, after this thrilling display of raw emotion within his burning eyes, there could be no doubt!

He loved me as a man loved a woman, I was sure of it in that moment.

He loved me fiercely.

There was still fear in the thought but I knew that I need not worry of Erik forcing himself upon me. It was not in his nature. He would never do that to me.

"It would not be wise at this point, little one." His voice was a charged whisper, "I will remain here. Sleep, I will watch over you."

I sensed that it was best not to push him, so I closed my eyes dutifully.

But the tension did not leave the room, and it was rather intoxicating.

For it was also in that moment that I knew I had begun to crave his passion, and his presence. To see his eyes flare up in such a way, feel his voice flow through me as his movements mesmerised. I wanted him to kiss me again. Just kiss me, but I knew that this night would not be the night.

I wondered how long I would be able to go without such physical affection from him. I had never imagined myself as the type to crave such a thing. But everything was different with Erik, myself included.

He had no idea of the magnetic pull of his personality. He was so consumed by his face; he was as good as blind at times.

It seemed I had my work cut out for me, but I was determined to make him see.

He brushed his thumb over my hand in a soft, steady rhythm and I soon found myself being lulled to sleep.

But, just as I drifted off, I could've sworn I felt his lips brush mine.

Or was I merely dreaming?

**

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**

Sooo, what ya thinking? (",)

_**x Restless And Tempted x**_


	6. Only Ghosts Vanish, Not Men

_**A/N: **_**As always my first words are for my reviewers, my dear reviewers! Thank you all so much, as always I love to hear how you feel about this phic! You're still my little inspirations! (",)**

**Back to the story. We are back with Raoul's POV just where we left him in Chapter 2, and he is joined by Nadir (I'm using Susan Kay's name for The Persian as you may have guessed) whose POV is at the end.**

**By the way, as I mentioned previously I enjoy fusing the books, play and movie together. So, within this phic, Madame Giry will have a more prominent role in Erik's life (as depicted in the play & movie, as opposed to her minor role in Leroux's novel). it just makes things that little bit more interesting as it means there are more characters to write for. **

**Anywho this is a necessary chapter to show how the ones left behind start to react to Christine and Erik having left.**

**So, now that all that's cleared up, on with the show... ****Enjoy, my dears, and don't forget to review. (",)**

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_**Chapter 6**_

_**Only Ghosts Vanish, Not Men**_

I stayed in that room for a long time, thinking… But as dawn approached I knew that I could not remain. The Opera House would soon be coming to life and it would not do for me to be found there.

I was determined to find Christine but I had to push my overwhelming urge to rescue and protect aside for a time. I would return that night, it was the best I could do.

That day was the longest of my life. Each second seemed to tear through me. If ever there was hell on Earth surely it was that day! The only thing that kept me sane, that kept me going, was the vision of my beloved, Christine. It was her smile that pulled me through…Her angelic voice. Everything was for her.

When I returned to the Opera I was loathe to realise that really I had only one lead. I knew that Erik had taken her. So, I would have to go to his house beyond the lake, just as Christine had described to me. Even my desperate mind could not discount the fact that it was unlikely that they would still be there, but it was all I had so far. And perhaps that reclusive creature would not have had anywhere to go so soon…perhaps.

The only way I knew how to get to his house was through the mirror in Christine's dressing room. Twisted swine! My blood boiled at the thought of how he may have exploited that warped little invention; watching my betrothed in her most private moments! But this was no time for mindless rage, I had to find Christine…Then I would show that despicable wretch!

As quickly as possible I made my way to Christine's dressing room. Though no one would dare to question my presence there, it was of the utmost importance that I not be seen as, during that endless day, I had come to a very important decision.

I was not going to involve the police in Christine's disappearance.

Yes, it sounded mad but there were numerous logical reasons for it.

Firstly, I was deathly afraid that if I involved the police Erik would go to ground and then I would never find them. Much as I wished to ignore it I could not discount the evidence of Erik's cunning and intelligence. He was a dangerous monster in many ways! I thought it would keep him off guard, even relaxed, if there were no police in pursuit, and he would slip up somehow.

Then, there was the general incompetence of the Paris police force. They did not know Christine as I did, they would not know how to approach a singular case such as this. They would not care enough. They would not know how to handle Erik. Did I?

And finally, there was the scandal that such a report would involve. It would tarnish mine and Christine's reputations irrevocably. I did not wish to expose my lovely fiancée to such a scandal. She is such a delicate thing that I fear she would not hold up well under the weight of the vicious gossips of society.

Besides, it would not do well to add anything more unfavourable to society's view of her considering we are to be married. She was already a chorus girl in their eyes and thus below them. But they did not yet know her as I do. They would learn to see past that, to see the delicate beauty she was, I would see to it.

I would find her myself, and I would use all of my resources to do so.

I was all she had left. I almost felt proud, but that would be wrong of me.

Unnoticeable as I tried to be, I could not help but startle at the slightest sound. The shadows seemed to conceal more than I dared to find. I could almost believe them in league with the Opera Ghost, so foreboding did they seem.

Just as I reached the door of the dressing room, I thought I saw a flash of gold disappear around the corner but I forced myself to dismiss it. It was nothing, just silly tricks of the mind. Certainly not an accomplice of Erik's. Certainly not…Surely the Ghost had no friends, fiend that he was!

Closing the door silently, I lit the lamps and headed straight for that cursed mirror. I did not stop to survey the room again; it would cause too much pain. Though I did notice it still smelt of roses. It always had…She always had…Had they been _his _roses?

I tugged and pushed at that infernal mirror for God knows how long, but it was to no avail. It did not budge. It merely threw my exasperated reflection back at me in gleeful scorn.

Christine had never revealed the secret of this particular trick to me and I was damn well defeated by it.

Perhaps only the sight of Erik's inhuman features caused it to obey and move aside.

What power did he possess that no other mortal had? At what cost had he obtained it?

I was beginning to truly despair when I heard a noise behind me. The door creaked open and closed almost imperceptibly. Someone had entered the room.

I spun to face the intruder, half expecting to come face to face with Erik himself.

Instead I found myself in the presence of an almost equally strange fellow.

I knew him only from whispers within the Opera as the Persian.

A dark skinned fellow adorned in strange garb, he was surrounded by an aura of mystery and quiet authority. It was no wonder he was of such interest to the pretty little things within the ballet corps; in the absence of the Ghost, of course.

"Ah, so it seems my fears were correct. Erik was supposed to have met me by his lake last night. He did not come. He has taken your lovely young singer, no?"

His accent was obvious but his words were clear.

This Persian had such tired, kind eyes that I found it hard to distrust him.

However, I did not miss the shrewd intelligence lurking within that steady gaze.

His words sparked hope and dread within me.

"You know of Erik?" He knew the monster's name, he had to! But was he friend or foe? Would he be willing to assist me and could I really rely on him to do so?

So many questions spun in my head that I felt a little dizzy, but I was loathe to show any weakness.

With a sad smile he replied, "I know of Erik what he allows me to know. And perhaps some things that he does not…And I know of you, my boy, at least a little."

If he was feeling any sense of urgency he hid it well, and that infuriated me. I was just barely maintaining my temper. I hated that this man could be so calm, when I could not. I was a gentleman, not some deranged madman. I was not Erik.

"Monsieur, please, if you know anything that could help me find her, please tell me so! That thing has taken her against her will! She is alone and terrified! I must find her!" The next words almost caught in my throat. I was not accustomed to asking strangers for help, but I would swallow my pride for Christine. "I beg of you."

Something in my plea must have softened him for he nodded sadly in acceptance.

"My name is Nadir." He began politely, extending his hand in a customary greeting, "I will help you. For now. But be warned not everything is as it seems, young man. Not in Erik's world…not in Opera." He smiled wryly, but I was in no mood for jesting. He seemed to sense this.

I did not comment on his words to me. I was unsure if I wished to know yet what this man, Nadir, thought of Erik. Instead I quickly explained the journey Christine had made through the mirror with Erik not so long ago.

He seemed to smile fondly as I mentioned it, yet with that ever-present underlying sadness. What caused such a look? How exactly did he know Erik?

"Ah, yes the mirror!" He whispered as though recalling an old friend, "Come, my boy, I will take you to Erik's house. Perhaps we can resolve this peacefully."

"Peacefully!" I had not meant to speak out, but the very notion of letting that fiend away with his crime was beyond me.

Nadir looked at me sternly. There was something strange and calculating in that look, but he turned away so quickly to the mirror that I had little time to worry about it.

With infuriating ease, Nadir located a switch at the mirror's edge that caused it to slide aside serenely.

Turning to me, he seemed to falter for a moment, and again I was struck by doubt.

But the moment passed and he spoke to me evenly, "Stay close to me. This could very well be dangerous. Erik does not like visitors."

Again his tone of sorrow and fondness when speaking of Erik caused me to wonder, but he had moved into the passageway beyond before I thought to question him.

The journey was indeed a strange one. Erik had set traps to guard his underground fortress but, according to Nadir, it seemed that Erik had forgotten to reset many of them. This was a stroke of luck for us. But did it mean that Erik was gone?

When we reached the house on the lake Nadir drifted off inside to look around for himself. I think he still hoped to find Erik and work everything out.

But it was too quiet. I began to fear the worst. I crossed the threshold almost tentatively.

Never in my life will I forget that place. For the most part it was just like any other house (discounting, of course, the fact that it was underground) and yet it had its secrets. There was a room containing a mighty pipe organ, and there was a coffin. A coffin! What a morbid being! I shuddered just to think of my Christine being trapped down there with him.

And yet, hard as it was to admit it was not without its beauty. Richly decorated, it seemed to reflect a deep sense of creativity.

It served as both a home and a shrine. A shrine to music, to beauty…and to Christine.

Music sheets were scattered everywhere as well as drawings of her. Her face gazed at me from every direction. I could almost hear the echoes of their voices raised together in song, in perfect harmony…Together in song…as we could never be.

I began to grow even angrier. I was becoming wild in my panic and despair. She was not here! Neither of them were! I was too late, they had already moved on. Yet, there were no clues as to where they had gone.

There was something else niggling at the back of my mind. Something else that didn't feel quite right. But I pushed it down, ignored it. It would only hurt me more. I was falling apart; I needed something to hold on to, not something to finally shatter me.

Turning around I found myself facing a large covered object. Impulsively I pulled away the covering, and found myself face to face with a mirror. But there was something wrong with its surface; it distorted the image of all it reflected.

I was barely recognisable as I gazed at the twisted reflection. I did not understand the purpose of such a thing. Why have a mirror that showed such ugliness to those who looked upon it?

Was it my imagination or was there something within the mirror? Erik had had a fondness for hiding in mirrors, had he not? Was he there right now, laughing at my anguish? Was I going mad?

Enraged, I reached for a nearby candelabrum and swung it at the mirror's smooth surface. It shattered marvellously. The sound and sight of its destruction was intensely pleasurable. But it was a cold pleasure for there was no masked man lurking within.

It was just a mirror.

Hearing pounding footsteps, I turned to find Nadir racing into the room.

"What on Earth are you doing?"

I had no answer for that but the obvious one. My true answer would only make me look mad, and I had to be strong.

Nadir was regarding me strangely again and I bristled under his stare. Nevertheless, I allowed him to lead me to a chair and sit me down. He proceeded to question me about the events leading up to Christine's disappearance as though it were a police questioning in which I was a suspect. I tried to tell him that it was a waste of time but he persisted with his questions with a strange intensity.

When he had finished, a pensive silence settled over the two of us.

I do not know how I knew but I sensed that I was losing his support.

That was perfectly alright by me, I had intended to pursue this matter alone.

But I could not let him leave without gaining from him any useful knowledge he had.

This was easier said than done. It seemed I had lost whatever small amount of trust had been forming between us. Yet, for the life of me, I did not know how or why.

He would not reveal to me how he knew Erik. His answers were cryptic and evasive. It was beyond frustrating.

Finally, I asked the most important question. The one I desperately needed an answer to.

"Monsieur, Nadir, I can see that you do not wish to reveal much about that thing known as Erik. But please, if you know of any possible places that he may have gone, tell me! If not for my sake than for Christine's!"

This plea seemed to give him pause, but my hopes were dashed by his steady response. "I am sorry, Vicompte, but I am of no use to you. Erik's secrets are his own, and I could not say where he has gone. He has always been quite adept at vanishing, I'm afraid."

"Only ghosts vanish, not men." I snapped.

Looking at me with those kind yet piercing eyes, his response shocked me,

"And how can you be so sure that he is either? Our rules, the rules of man, do not governor him. That is one thing that I can tell you about Erik. And another…"

Eagerly I waited for this bit of insight into the enigma that was Erik.

"His mask conceals a lot more than his poor face. Terrible as he can be, he is so much more than you think of him."

I was defeated. There were no clues to be found here, and my ally seemed to have become my foe. _Erik? More than I thought of him? Indeed!_

"Come," Nadir said, "I will return you to the surface and then we must part ways. And may your God be with you, my young friend."

As we traipsed back to the surface, I hardened my heart to my despair.

I would not give up! I could not! This was only the first setback.

Now I would turn to my money. Money can buy so much more then fancy clothes.

It can buy information. Everyone has their price.

I would rescue Christine! I would be the hero!

_**Nadir's POV**_

It was regrettable indeed to leave that poor boy in such despair, but there was too much at stake to allow pity to cloud my judgement. I had to uncover the truth of this matter without him.

Ah, but he had seemed so sincere. His concern for Mademoiselle Daae was certainly genuine. But the rage he felt towards Erik and his devotion to Christine was clouding his judgement dreadfully.

But there was no denying that he played the part of the valiant hero incredibly well.

Perhaps too well.

_Oh, Erik, my old friend, Allah knows what you have done now?_

I had hoped to find him at home. Such a darkly wondrous home! But I hoped in vain.

Yet, as I searched I began to grow suspicious. There were no signs of struggle. Not within Erik's house nor the girl's dressing room.

This was not to say that Erik had not drugged her or lured her with his seraphic voice. But a good Daroga does not overlook any signs, nor discredit any doubts without proof. And as I had told the young Vicompte, nothing was ever as it seemed with Erik.

Was it possible that the girl had gone willingly? Erik had told me about her, of course, but he was as blinded by love as the boy. A dangerous thing, indeed.

Yet, as Raoul recounted to me the events that occurred before he discovered poor Christine missing, my doubts intensified.

The girl had requested to be left alone in her room yet surely she knew the danger of such a request. It would have left her vulnerable to Erik. It had.

Many things, such as dresses etc., from what I assumed to be her room had been carefully taken. No clothes were scattered. Time and care had been taken. Erik's room showed the same signs. Had Erik acted out of madness and kidnapped the girl, this would not have been the case.

I knew Erik as well as I could. He was too dramatic to be so discreet once he was angered or hurt.

So what had really occurred between this woman-child soprano and her all too human Angel?

I had to discover the truth. I would not rest until I did so. I was Erik's conscience still, you see, so I was duty-bound. Erik would never be free of me, as I would never be free of him. I had to find him. And I would.

To my shame, I had not confessed the whole truth to Raoul. I did not know _exactly _where Erik was, but I had some ideas.

And I knew someone else who would possibly be of assistance to me.

It seemed it was time to pay a visit to the worthy Madame Giry.

That formidable woman who had also found her way into Erik's life.

I suppose you could say that we were Erik's only real friends, and as such we would allow him a chance to explain himself.

He would give us the truth and we would respond accordingly.

We owed one another that much.

Deep in my heart, I prayed that we would find Erik before the Vicompte did.

Allah knows what disaster would occur if we did not!

Deep in my heart, I prayed even harder that Christine was with Erik of her own free will. I was so tired of being disappointed by the actions of that tortured genius.

He had so much more to offer than darkness alone.

And I truly could not bear the thought of having to break his heart.

For despite all his claims he was still, at the core, only a man…

And, for his sake and Christine's, I would find him.

Not the Ghost…

Not the Angel…

Just the man…

For men don't vanish, they merely hide…

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**So, there ya have it...what ya thinking?**

**_x Restless And Tempted x_**


	7. A Tangled Web

_**A/N**_**: Back again, this time with an E & C chapter (just what you were waiting for I hope, BleedingHeartConservative, & don't worry I'm the same I always wait for the Erik chapters in stories too (",) )**

**Oh, and about that misspelling of vicompte...darn, see there I go again...sorry it's a bit of a bad habit I seem to have but if ya like it then it won't be too much trouble to keep it in every now & then, White dragon lady (",)! **

**Thank you all so much for your reviews, they are all so important to me!**

**I'm overjoyed with the wonderful response this story has received so far. One day I will get around to PM'ing my thanks to you all but for now know that each chapter I write is for you guys! **

**Now on with the show. We begin in Erik's POV, then switch to Christine's. This chapter is pretty angst-ridden and has a fair bit of dialogue but it's all necessary.**

**Plus we end with a journal entry from Erik.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

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_**Chapter 7**_

_**A Tangled Web**_

_My Erik was such a paradox. _

_Light and dark, love and hate, corruption and innocence…_

_They all came together to form the contradiction that was the man I loved._

_A man I had not been sure I would ever understand. A man who had not understood. _

_But we are all contradictions, are we not?…In our own ways._

_I had once been a girl that longed to be a woman, yet was afraid to grow up…_

_Erik had once been a man that longed for love, yet could not accept it…_

_If there was ever one thing Erik feared, it was the thing he wanted most…Love._

**- Extract from Christine's Diary**

There was so much confusion in my mind, more than there had ever been. I had in my possession the one person I had ever truly wanted…ever truly loved. So why could I not accept it? Was I truly beyond hope? How much more could my tenuous sanity take?

My heart wished to burst from the intensity of joy and love her presence gave me, but it could not make sense of her presence. I could not.

And every time she tried to explain I would not listen. My ears were too full of her words to her precious boy.

I wanted to listen but I could not be sure I would believe. She had made such pretty declarations to her youthful knight. If she had not meant them with him how could I be sure that she meant them with me?

Oh, I did not want to doubt her. It made me want to punish myself for thinking such things of my Angel. But she had destroyed that illusion had she not? She was not always an Angel; she was capable of the worst cruelty.

Yet I had hurt her too. I had nearly crushed my beautiful child beneath the weight of my own cruelty! What a wretched mess! Oh, what a tangled web this was!

Hmm, a tangled web…what shame it would bring a poor spider…

_The spider weaves a tangled web and knows he'll never weave again…_

_The spider_…NO!

I would not lose my mind to nonsense and insanity now.

I did not want to be this creature anymore! I was tired of being a Ghost, a thing.

I wanted to be a man.

I wanted to be a better man for her…For my deceitful little Angel.

Perhaps she was better suited to the role of a Siren, so easily could she lead men to their doom.

Ah, but I hated these thoughts! Hated feeling this way about her at times! It was only because I loved her so unbearably. I could never really hate her; only love her in so many different ways!

I had been full of joy, even hope, not so long ago, why couldn't I hold on to that feeling? Why did my mind have to destroy every chance I had at being truly happy?...Truly happy with my Christine.

There was a part of me that believed in her, in the things she had said and had yet to say. That part of me knew that I was capable of forgiving her. That part of me was content.

But it was not always easy to find that obscure part of myself. It needed to grow stronger; I needed to make it grow stronger.

Christine was here, was she not? She slept innocently beneath my tortured gaze, holding my hand firmly. She looked so young. But there was fire in my beloved girl's spirit. She was not as delicate as she seemed. I was beginning to finally see that, at least.

She was fighting for me. Though I could not accept it, I could not ignore it either.

Every word, every little thing she did now was for me, to prove to me that she was here.

But why was she here? She had tried to tell me but I…I…why was she here? She had chosen me, she had...But why? Oh, why didn't I know?!

What could she mean by her words and actions? She had seemed so beautiful and caring as she lay in her bed. Back at the Opera she had kissed me. Oh Lord, she had kissed me! What was I to do with this strange new Christine?

Was it misguided guilt or pity that drove her now. Fear or fascination?

I wanted the truth. I was so weary of lies.

I was so confused! Every time I understood, I recoiled. It is difficult to trust.

For Erik it is dangerous.

But this was Christine. Perhaps she was not truly an Angel but she was _my _Angel. My very human Angel. Deep down she was not cruel, she was beautiful. She did not mean to be cruel, and surely not to her Erik!

I had always believed that I would do anything for her, so could I not let her in? Could I not allow her to prove herself without constantly drawing back again for each step we took forward? I had to try for her…everything was for her!

Would she welcome my efforts?

Could she possibly be willing and… (Dare I even think it), loving?

Or would she leave her poor, unhappy Erik again…leave him to die as he surely would?

She had not run away yet, but Christine was always running. Why would she stop?

Unless this was all just a dream. A beautiful fantasy that I had created to allow me to escape reality's bleakness. Perhaps I had already lost the battle for my sanity…

Perhaps Christine was not sleeping before me…

Oh, but her hand felt so warm in mine, so real! Surely, I could not imagine that so well…?

I wanted to be better; I wanted to try for her! I loved her! I loved her and she was real, she was here! There had to be a reason! She had to be trying to tell me the truth!

This had to be real; things were too difficult for it to be a dream!

_Oh, Christine, I am so confused!_

**Christine's POV**

_I was falling but I wasn't afraid. This fall was necessary. I did not struggle, I merely fell. Down, down, down. There was darkness around me but it was becoming more beautiful by the second._

_I was nearly there now, nearly where I longed to be. There was music now, there was always music…_

_But suddenly, I felt something wet fall upon my skin. That wasn't right. There was nothing here but the darkness and the music. Where was the water coming from?_

_The little droplets continued to fall…_

Another fell softly onto my hand and pulled me from my dream.

Slowly I began to awaken…

I opened my eyes to locate the source of the little droplets and gasped. I had almost forgotten Erik was there. In fact, I had not expected him to still be there holding my hand.

It was then that I noticed that he was crying. He was the water's source. My Erik was crying over me. Such agony in his eyes I could scarcely breathe! What had I done?

Had I said something in my sleep to upset him so? Surely he couldn't hold something like that against me.

I hated to see him cry, never was there a more sorrowful sight.

I reached up to brush some of his tears away. He grabbed my hand and pressed it to his cheek.

"Tell me you are real, Christine! Say that there is hope for us!" He whispered fervently.

What was this about? Where had this sudden desperation come from? What madness had claimed him now?

"Of course I am real Erik! How could you think I am not? And yes, there is always hope for us. We are here together, are we not? I am here Erik…with you."

I had meant to reassure him. My tone had been gentle and sure. Yet, his face still tightened in suspicion.

"Why?" He all but hissed. "Why are you here?"

I didn't understand. Where had my gentle Erik disappeared to? We had made some progress last night, I know we had. So why did he seem so intent on destroying it…destroying me?

It seemed that I was to, once again, be tossed into the violent sea of Erik's inner turmoil. I was a little frightened that I may drown in it one of these times.

I was never a very strong swimmer you see.

"Erik, I have tried to tell you, you cannot deny that."

He seemed to soften a little at that. I had to believe that he did not mean to lash out at me. I had done nothing to make him so hostile. But then again that was not entirely true…

There had been no real time for us to regain the trust between us. We had both wounded each other terribly. Try as I did to ignore it, I knew that we would bear the scars for a long time yet. Unless of course the wounds never healed. There were some that remained unbearably raw…there were some that still bled…

But I had hope. I was clinging to hope for the good of my own sanity. If I gave in we were lost. Erik was not yet strong enough to pull us both from our doubts. We had to work together. Though I must admit it was feeling rather one-sided at the moment.

Still, bravely I continued, "You must know why I'm here, you must. Think back over our time together…Even if you don't really wish to, you must know…"

Once more I was surprised by Erik's reaction to my words. To be honest I had expected no reaction. I had thought that he would withdraw into himself and choose to ignore what I had said entirely. It would hit too close to home for him.

When would I learn to never assume, not in this new life of mine.

He became angry but his expression was tinged with pain. What meaning had he taken from what I had spoken?

"Ah, yes, how could Erik have been so foolish? Why didn't he see it straight away? Why Christine followed him was a simple question with a simple answer. It is what I have that no one else has…no one can make Christine follow better than I! She simply did not wish to lose her guilty little pleasure!"

I no longer knew if he spoke to me or to himself. Was he still with me or had I lost him to some tortured corner of his mind? Either way his words troubled me.

"Erik…" I began pleadingly, but he cut me off with an imperiously raised hand.

There was a dangerous majesty in his stance now. Gone were the hints of pain and vulnerability. He stood before me now as a proud emperor would before his lowly subjects. Or perhaps emperor was too low a status for him to be associated with; perhaps an ancient god was more fitting to him now.

I couldn't help the fear that lanced through my silent and unmoving form. I tried not to dwell on it but I could rarely forget that Erik was a dangerous being when he so wished to be. However, the danger that I felt in this moment was not clear to me. I did not fear that he would harm me physically. But there are many ways a person can hurt you, especially a loved one.

His gaze pierced through me but I could not move. I was frozen in place awaiting his next move. It was a most unexpected one.

"_Christine_…" There was almost mocking in his tone but I barely noticed.

That voice. That delicious voice! I couldn't stifle the gasp it elicited.

It moved over me like it was a living being. It caressed…it _possessed_!

Within that voice there was all the beauty in the world, and…dare I say it…all the pleasure… Hearing my name spoken in such a way was almost too much!

Erik had never used this voice with me before. I knew he was capable of great vocal feats; his voice surpassed even the angels themselves, but this…

It was not the voice of my teacher for it was not sternly gentle…

It was not the voice of my Angel for it was not divine...and it certainly was not pure…

No, this was the voice of Erik at its most potent…at its most seductive…

"_Come, little one, follow what you have been following all along_."

Oh yes, I would follow that voice anywhere. I rose up without a second thought and followed as Erik glided backwards from the room, beckoning me with his outstretched hand.

Under normal circumstances I would like to think that I would have figured out the meaning of all this, but you see, at the time I could barely breathe, let alone think!

"_I understand now what you want and who am I to deny you? Oh, you have shown your true colours now dear…if only I did not love you so much. If only I did not wish to do anything for you, even if it is only this that you want from me. Silly Erik…"_

I shuddered beneath the glory of his voice but something was beginning to reach through my blissful haze. I was beginning to feel that something was not quite right.

All the while I continued to follow him.

"_Shall I sing for you, darling? It seems I am to be the nightingale in this tale. I am the one who is caged, isn't that funny? I am __**caged **__again!"_

His voice broke on the words and suddenly I could break free of my dazed state.

He was crying again. I had made him cry again and I didn't know how!

Shaking free of the lingering effects of his voice, I realised he had led me to the music room at the front of the house. "Erik, what is the meaning of this?"

I felt a little shaken…a little used. I would never say that he had violated me but he had used the full power of his voice on me in a way that I feared. It had felt too good to be decent!

He seemed surprised to hear me speak.

"_Hush now my dear, I…"_

"No!" I covered my ears firmly albeit reluctantly. "You will not speak to me that way! You will explain yourself."

Suddenly he was livid again.

"You dare very much indeed, my dear. Don't try to pretend that this is not what you sought! That this is not what you are here for! Oh, I see it all very clearly now!

This was what it was always about! This is what you love!"

He had returned to his normal voice and so I uncovered my ears, but I still didn't understand, and I told him so quite fiercely.

"Viper of a woman, do not play coy now! I know! You do not wish to be with me, it is my voice you are here for. Think back, you said! Well Erik did and now he knows!

It is his voice, it has always been so. There is nothing else it could be; only Erik's voice has ever reached you! Not Erik! Erik is ugly but his voice is not…

You can bear the monster for the sake of the voice which can move you as no one else can!" He began to laugh then but it was not at all pleasant.

He was laughing and crying. Drowning in madness and grief before my eyes.

I could see how he had come to this assumption. Thinking back over our time together it often revolved around his voice. In the beginning that had been all he was to me; a voice. And I had loved that voice as much as one _could _love only a voice.

Then he revealed himself as a man and I had been both thrilled and terrified. It had been his voice then too that had allowed me to make the transition between seeing him as incorporeal and seeing him as flesh and blood. When raised in song or merely pitched just so, it could move me in a thousand different ways.

But I was not here for just a voice. Though I would never forget his voice for as long as I lived, and there was no denying that I did crave the sound of it, I could not build my future upon a voice. I did not love Erik for his voice alone, despite what he thought.

If that was all there was I would have been able to leave with Raoul the moment he had offered the escape. But I hadn't, I couldn't have.

It was Erik himself, every perfect and imperfect part of him, that bound me to his side.

His voice could move me but Erik could make me truly _feel_!

How could he be so dense as to not see it!

I was tired of his games and I was furious. He had manipulated me and then made me feel like the one at fault. Did he really think so little of me?

"How dare you accuse me of such utter cruelty! It is not your voice that keeps me here, you foolish man! Can you really not see how I feel about you?! It is you that I followed; you did not use your voice to bring me here! I am here of my own free will.

Why are you punishing me?"

Tears ran unheeded down my face as I poured every bit of emotion in me into my words. He had hurt me terribly this day.

"You say you love me but I do not feel loved now. Do you hate me so much now!

I am so sorry for all the pain I have ever caused you, Erik but I am trying to make it right. You could stay silent for the rest of your life and I would still wish to be with you! How dare you make me out to be such a monster as to only want you for your voice.

It is beautiful Erik, but it is not your only beauty!"

"Erik is a monster, Christine! His face is a nightmare from which you can never awaken. You have said many similar things about it behind Erik's back if he recalls."

Such blind rage and pain fuelled us now. Neither of us could explain ourselves properly and so we resorted to lashing out. I no longer felt secure in his love and he had never felt secure in mine.

It is said that there is a fine line between love and hate.

The line was blurred in that moment.

"Oh, must you forever throw that back in my face! I am here with you! I will not tell you the depth of my feelings for you now, not with you insulting me so carelessly. But I will tell you this…I left behind everything for you! My life, my career, my friends…Everything! But still you doubt me…

I left behind my oldest friend without even saying goodbye!"

I buried my face in my hands. This was not how I wanted to talk to him but I didn't know how to stop it. I loved him so much that it hurt and I was so angry.

We had always been terribly good at hurting one another. Some things never changed.

"Ah, yes, poor Raoul. With his handsome face and pretty title, there is much to pity him for. Such a lonely existence he must lead." The sarcasm that dripped from Erik's words was acidic.

"Then again his heroic words were enough to win you over; why I am sure even now he has found some beautiful young thing willing to let him weep on her shoulder. Does that make you jealous? That you can be so easily replaced by him?"

The force of my palm striking his cheek almost dislodged his mask.

The sharp sound seemed to echo before silence descended.

His look was thunderous but I was beyond caring. I could not believe that he would be so uncaring. I wanted to hurt him for destroying me so.

"Perhaps I made the wrong choice." I whispered coldly. "Perhaps I was mistaken to think that I could feel so strongly for you…that you were more than just a voice. Oh, if I had never heard your voice, never known you...

Maybe I would've been happier without you…"

Even as I said it I knew I did not mean it. Erik completed me. I was nothing without him. But I was so hurt that I didn't see the danger in my vicious lies. For while I knew that I couldn't really live without Erik, Erik didn't.

He recoiled instantly. His agonised expression hardened in a matter of seconds.

The room suddenly felt as cold as ice.

I realised that I had made a dreadful mistake and reached for him in supplication.

But it was too late.

"Is that so?" His voice tore painfully through me.

"Erik, no, I didn't…" But he was not listening.

"It is clear then what must be done."

I waited breathlessly as he paused.

"I will leave. Christine can forget she ever knew Erik. If Christine would be happier without me then I will not stay. I will not be caged.

Erik would do anything for Christine."

His voice broke with emotion.

My world was spinning dangerously out of control. He couldn't leave me! I'd die!

"Erik, NO!" I choked out, barely able to speak.

But he was too far gone in his despair to notice my panic.

With one final haunting look, he turned on his heel and was gone.

Gone too quickly for me to follow.

He was gone. My Erik had left me, and it was my fault. I had all but told him to go!

But he couldn't have truly gone, could he? No, how could he have left me for good?…We were meant to be together…couldn't survive without each other…He couldn't have left me forever…

I was frozen. I had not moved an inch and yet I couldn't catch my breath. The room was beginning to spin a little. I was alone in this house in the woods…I had made my Erik go away. What could I do? What had I done?

Numbly, I sank down in the chair by the window and fought to find some semblance of calm. No, he couldn't have gone for good…I would just wait here until he returned, then I would apologise and he would love me again and we could be happy.

Yes, that's what would happen. I would wait here and he would come back for me. He promised he would never leave. Erik never broke his promises.

He would come back because I had never gotten the chance to tell him that I loved him.

I turned my gaze to the window and settled down to wait, ignoring the choking sobs that wrenched free from my throat.

At the topmost corner of the window I happened to notice a spider darting around his web. They had always frightened me a little but I was beyond caring about insignificant fears like that at this point.

I was waiting…

Yet, I couldn't help but notice that his web seemed a little odd.

"Your web looks a little tangled, spider…" I rasped out, "You should start over…"

**_All the best and worst kinds of love are painful._**

**_It took me quite some time to figure out if our love was the most exquisite or the most destructive…or a little of both…_**

**_All I knew for certain was that it was not easy… But love never is…_**

**- Extract from Erik's journal**

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**I know, I'm sorry! But there was no way things could suddenly be easy for them, however, have faith in E & C. Bear with them (as I'm sure you will). Baby steps, right?**

**And sorry, I know it's a bit of a cliffie but the next chapter will be up soon, I promise. It was just better to break it up.**

**As always I encourage you to review, you know I love hearing those thoughts of your's! (",)**

_**x Restless And Tempted x**_


	8. A Love Worth The Wait

**A/N: Alright here I am with that second half of the previous chapter, to give you all a little closure, I hope. ;-)**

**It starts in Christine's POV, switches to Erik's, then concludes in Christine's, (hope that's not too much POV switching in one chapter for ya, it just seemed to suit this chapter).**

**Thank you to you guys who took the time to review. As always I'm really grateful! **

**You guys are a great influence on this story I hope you know, so don't be afraid to let me know what you think.**

**So, I won't keep you waiting any longer...Back into the woods we go...**

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_**Chapter 8**_

_**A Love Worth The Wait**_

_The enormity of my task loomed before me._

_I was committed to saving a man who did not want to be saved. In many ways he had given up._

_What more could I really do for him but let him know I was there and wait for him to come to me. Sometimes all we can do for the ones we love is wait for them__…_

_**- **_**Extract from Christine****'****s Diary**

All day I waited. I watched as the brilliant sun retreated back to the horizon, as the shadows lengthened and the darkness was born.

I did not move, sometimes I almost forgot to breathe.

I was like a lonely princess from some forgotten fairytale. Waiting, always waiting for her love to return to free her from her frozen state. Alas, it seemed my tower was higher than other princess' towers, for my love was taking an awfully long time.

Perhaps the thorns around this castle were too sharp…

Perhaps the thorns within his mind were too strong…

Thorns I had helped to grow…

This place frightened me a little now that I was alone in it. It was still too new to really feel like home…still too full of only pain and uncertainty.

Only Erik could change that. Only he could make this place feel like home again, just as he had done at the Opera when I was younger.

I suppose I had forever relied upon him, so perhaps I should not have felt so terrible that he had not yet thought to rely on me. My new found strength was as new to him as it was to me. Sadly I had not been strong enough to prevent this disaster.

I was still only human…so much less than Erik deserved. But I was trying!

It was getter dark and the wind was howling like a ravenous beast outside. I had been afraid to leave my post and so my only source of light was the candle on the windowsill.

I had thought that perhaps it might act as a beacon to guide Erik home to me.

Such foolish thoughts filled my head that day!

As the darkness intensified along with the merciless wind I began to feel the beginning tremors of fear. I will not lie and say that I did not think, for a time, of leaving. My fears that I had been truly abandoned increased.

I think in all my life that has been the one thing I have feared most of all; abandonment. For a time it had seemed inevitable to me that the people I loved would abandon me. My parents, Raoul, my Angel...

They would die or leave and I would be alone again forever.

Had Erik felt this way during his lonely life? Surely if he had he would not then leave me so...leave us both so alone...

There was no possible way I could survive here on my own! I had no idea where I was nor did I have any money on my person.

All in all, I was rather helpless, sitting alone in my house in the woods.

Just for a moment I entertained the thought of returning to Paris. My sparkling City of Lights! I could find my way there somehow, surely. I would return to the Opera House and act as though I had never left. Madame Giry would be there, and Meg…and Raoul.

Raoul would forgive me for leaving. If I so wished it, he would ask no questions of me. He would care for me. He would never leave me.

And then I suppose he would wish to marry me still and I…and I would never see Erik again…Oh God, NO!

No, no, no! Instantly I recoiled from those wicked, disloyal thoughts. How could I even think such things? Never see Erik again? Leave him forever to live out my days with Raoul? Without music! Without my love!

Oh God, there was only agony in those thoughts! Only agony waited for me back in Paris, in a life without Erik! We completed each other. Without him, I would never be whole.

And without me, neither would he…Oh, where had my fallen Angel gone? To what dark place had I driven him? Could he not hear me calling him? He had told me that he was always with me, so why wasn't he with me now?

I had to stay here and wait for him. Here, where I could feel close to him.

Here, where I could recall every memory that we shared…Every time we were as one when we sang together, every tender moment, our first kiss…and all the times I got it wrong and he did also, all the times we ruined things and hurt one another...

But love is not without its share of pain. And certainly this was the worst pain I had ever endured. It had to be! No one could ever be expected to bear more pain than this!

I was dying. Every moment he was away another part of me withered. I couldn't help recalling the tale of the nightingale and the rose. I was the trembling rose and my nightingale had flown away. I could not bloom without him. My petals were falling to the ground like tear drops. His absence was killing me…

Would this have been my life had I left with Raoul? If I had been weak and submitted to my dear friend's will? Would I have become no more than a wilting rose?

I can no longer see how I would have been happy…I would have been leaving Erik in that lonely place to die as I was dying now.

I would have never seen him ever again…I would've killed him…Oh, I would've gone mad with grief!

_Erik can__'__t you see you are killing me now! If I die here without you I shall never forgive you for it! Why I__'__ll come back to haunt you, I swear I will!_

Still I remained like a statue by the darkening window. I could barely see out of it now but I couldn't bring myself to move.

Sitting here in his music room, I could almost pretend that he was beside me. He was playing a new song for me, one he had written about our love. It was agonisingly beautiful…I could hear it in my mind.

Silently, I began to weep.

I was growing weary now and feeling decidedly weak. I vaguely recalled that I had yet to eat but that was unimportant.

I tried desperately to keep my eyes open. I could feel…something…

There was a sensation in my heart that made me believe that something had changed…But what?

I couldn't figure it out. There was a feeling in the air but I couldn't decipher it. I was so tired.

Ever so slowly, my eyelids begin to close. I fought but it was a useless battle as darkness came to claim me.

Finally, I surrendered. At least in the darkness there was relief.

**Erik****'****s POV**

I did not get far. I had wanted so badly to leave…and yet I couldn't.

I had stormed out of that house in a terrible rage. She had broken me again. A thousand different thoughts had barrelled through my mind.

I would leave and never return! Let her find her way out of her own mess! That would show her! She would never survive without me and she knew it. I had read the lie in her eyes. She couldn't survive without me…could she?

Her words had cut me to the bone. She had not stabbed me in the back, no, this time she looked me in the eye when she delivered her fatal blow.

She would not survive without me but that's not what I wanted. I wanted her to be unable to _live _without me. There was a difference.

I wanted her to need me with her. I wanted her to love me. I wanted to make her happy.

That's really why I had left, so that she could be happy. I had told the truth when I said that I would not be caged again. I would not remain her slave while she pined away for another life…for another man.

There were easier ways to die.

So I had stormed out with all these grand plans ranging from revenge to sheer survival, and yet I couldn't rid my mind of her face. She had said something to me as I told her I was leaving but I had not been listening.

I stopped within a clearing and thought back. It was hard to see past the rage and pain that clouded my memory. I had always had trouble with controlling my emotions; as soon as they were loose I was but a puppet to them. It was so…human of me.

Ah, there it was, her face as she delivered her brutal words. So angry, so hurt. And then as I told her I would go…it seemed to crumble. She looked…terrified, agonised…But why? Because I had said I was leaving?

Christine had never been a very good liar. She had been lying to me but what did that mean? And did it matter? She had lied to me but she had done so to deliberately hurt me. Did she hate me so much now? What had I done to deserve such a thing?

_You did n__o__t trust her. You manipulated her._

A little voice inside my mind seemed to whisper to me. Why, I do believe it could have been my conscience!? It had sounded disturbingly like Nadir.

I _had _manipulated her, hadn't I? I had refused to see any reason whatsoever and had jumped to my own conclusions. Why, since we'd been here, I had refused to really listen to anything important that she had to say to me. Anything that came too close to my wounded heart.

I loved her so very much and I wanted her to love me. I couldn't bear for her words to shatter any pathetic hope I had, and so I hadn't listened.

And look where that got me! I was cowering in the woods while she did God knows what.

Had she believed me gone for good? How happy had that made her? I was never truly clear where I stood with Christine. Sometimes I believed that all she wanted was to be rid of me but other times…

Well, we had both ruined it now, hadn't we? I was supposed to be trying to better for her and yet the first chance I got I was off running. Perhaps I had used this incident as an excuse to give up. I was not used to dealing with people…I was not used to dealing with love. I did not like feeling so lost and helpless.

I had wanted to sit down with Christine and discuss things but instead I had overreacted. I was not taking all the blame here though, she had been excessively cruel also.

But…I had started it…I was very good at destroying people and against my will I had set out to destroy her…For it was not easy for me to lay my soul bare. For a long time I had doubted that I even possessed one. So I had rushed straight into attacking her, and she had fought back. She had never done that before...

A part of me knew that her words were spoken out of a place of anger and pain. I had provoked her with my harsh treatment and indifference.

Oh, this really had become more nightmare than dream…

Perhaps she was better off without me.

But should I not have let her make that decision? I had decided not so long ago not to stifle her and yet, here I was deciding for her again. Perhaps, if there was one thing I could give her that the boy never could it would be this; the opportunity to choose for herself. Even if this was the last thing I would ever give her, I could die happy knowing that there were now two things I had given her that he never would…Music and the power to choose.

This meant, of course, that I would have to listen to what she had to say…even if I didn't like it. But if I kept a clear head I would finally get the truth from her. I could usually tell when she was lying. But would I notice if the lies were what I wanted to hear?

I didn't want a selfless martyr to live out my days with.

I wanted a willing companion who I could make happy…perhaps even, if the idea wasn't too repulsive, a lover…a wife...

But if I was not what she wanted then I would let her go. I could do that for her. I would! For, despite our cruelty to one another, she had been such a good girl to come with me this far. I would return her to her life if that's what she wished and then I would go far away. I would go far away and I would lay down to die, knowing that I had made my girl as happy as I ever could.

But if she wanted me…Oh, if she wanted me, I would stay with her forever. No one would ever be more loved than my Christine. I would do anything for her. I would make her happy.

And to do this I would try to believe in her more, I would try to forgive her. For as much as I loved her, Erik could not help but remember how much she had hurt him. Forgiveness was hard for Erik. Erik did not forgive. But for Christine Erik could do anything!

It seemed that the fresh air was doing wonders for me. I had not thought so clear in a very long time. Madness tends to make things hazy, you know.

I was not so bad you see, not really, not with Christine.

My mind was just beginning to relax when a terrifying thought struck me.

What if Christine had already left? We weren't as far from Paris as she might have thought, what if she had left for Paris already!

If she had left then Erik would know the truth but he would never get to say goodbye…never get to give her his final gift of choice!

I looked up to the sky and gasped. Where had the day gone? I had been gone for so very long. What must my dear girl be thinking?

I had to go back. I had to see if she was still there.

When I reached the house it was very dark indeed. There were no lights lit and I began to panic. Only one thing caught my attention. A faint flickering in one of the front windows. A dying candle…

Quietly, I crept inside. I did not want Christine to see me just yet. If she was even still here…

But she was! Oh God, she was! I found her where I had left her; in the music room.

She was so unbearably beautiful. I ached watching her.

She was sitting in a chair by the window gazing out. She had not moved. Why didn't she move? Why did she just sit there? Was she waiting?

Again I found myself wishing I could read her mind. It would've saved us both a lot of trouble if I could.

Amazed, I watched as she began to cry silently.

I wanted to go to her then. I wanted to enfold her in my arms and weep with her. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to keep her forever.

I wanted to tell her I forgave her everything but I didn't want to lie to her. Not even in this glorious moment. We had had enough of lies.

It still hurt to think of those words she had said to me. But I had said some terrible things too. This day had changed us both, I think.

I watched as she battled her evident fatigue. Only when she was finally asleep did I emerge. I needed to play the coward at least one more night.

Gazing at her, I saw that I should not have left as I did. It had affected her terribly, more than I ever dreamed it would. Was it wrong of me to be somewhat pleased by her stricken state?

I had feared that she had only wanted my voice. So I had withheld it. Hell, I had left her, which would've meant she would never hear it again!

She had every chance of escape and yet she stayed.

I had been gone long enough for her to leave and yet she had not moved from this room.

She waited for me, and she cried.

Surely this was a sign. Certainly a sign of my stupidity! Some genius I had turned out to be!

I had to change. I knew this now for certain. She deserved much better. She had certainly earned that today. My Christine was getting stronger, and instead of doing the same, I was allowing myself to get weaker. I was pushing her away.

The one thing I had ever truly loved in this life and I was pushing her away!

That had to change.

Gently, I lifted her up into my arms. That chair could not have been very comfortable.

She was like a feather in my arms. I could've held her forever.

Instead I carried her to her room and put her down on her bed.

She stirred slightly and looked at me with hazy eyes. She was not quite awake and so I did not panic when she saw me.

"Erik…" she whimpered, "I lo…"

I hushed her ever so gently. I did not want to hear those words from her until she was fully aware that she said them and she meant them.

"Yes, my dear, hush now. I believe I am starting to see that…"

She settled down again and went back asleep.

I pulled up a chair to her bedside and sat down. I couldn't help but watch her as she tossed and turned in her sleep. Her dreams seemed to plague her tonight. She was not restful.

Soothingly I caressed her face. I was brave enough to do so knowing that she was unaware. This was another thing I would have to work on, if she so wished it of course. I would gladly spend my life simply looking at her. I did not care how pathetic that made me sound.

I was about to sing for her to calm her when I noticed that she had already calmed. My touch alone had soothed her. _My _touch…

We were not yet there, I knew, not yet safe. If we were to be together there was much we needed to understand about one another, and much we needed to work on. It would not happen overnight. It would not even happen when we next spoke. Not completely.

But I wanted it to happen, wanted it with all my heart. And that was a step forward.

Before I had wanted the dream, the lies. I had wanted to live in my fantasy of us together, and I had wanted nothing to do with anything that would spoil that. But now I saw that I had to face reality, that, if I really tried, I could.

I was starting to see that perhaps reality could be better.

For if she really wanted to be with me, then it would all be real…every smile, every word…every kiss…it would all be real and it would be mine!

I had meant to go. It probably would not do for her to awaken to me here.

We would speak tomorrow not tonight. We would talk about what had happened for that is what people do. Erik would never forget but if it was best he would pretend to forget. He would pretend until he had forgiven. See, I _was _trying!

I had meant to go, but I was uncommonly exhausted.

Listening to her breathing was very soothing. I would never say that my Christine snored, for ladies do not snore. But her breathing was certainly deep and I found it lulling me to sleep.

I drifted off by her side with my arm draped gently over her. It was as close to Heaven as I had ever been.

**Christine****'****s POV**

I awoke to find myself in my bed. It was very dark so I was sure it was still night-time. A memory of being put in my bed flashed through my mind but it was hazy.

Suddenly, I realised that I was being pressed to the bed by something. I felt a little tremor of fear. Looking down I saw that it was an arm that held me there. My panic instantly vanished.

I would know that elegant hand anywhere.

Turning my head I felt my heart burst with love. Erik. He had come back to me. I pinched myself, so afraid I was dreaming.

But this was no dream! My Erik had come back. He was sleeping by my side, his every breath making my skin tingle. My joy was too powerful to express.

I could never doubt how I felt about him, not after today! And I would make sure he never had reason to doubt either!

This was a good sign, it had to be! I knew it was!

Unable to help myself, I leaned over and kissed him softly. I had never seen him asleep before. There was something beautiful about it…or perhaps only I thought so. I was just so happy to see him there.

Settling down again, I curled myself up closer to him and allowed myself to fall back asleep.

There was a long road ahead of us, I knew. But it had to be worth it in the end.

For sometimes there comes a love worth the wait.

And there could be no love more worthy than that of the rose and her nightingale.

_**We were not perfect. We made other mistakes, despite our best intentions. There were other times when we ran, but we were only human after all…**_

_**Finally, I was only human.**_

_**Besides, we always seemed to come back. **_

_**We couldn't stay away, no matter how badly we hurt one another at times. **_

_**Love is a funny thing, is it not?**_

**- Extract from Erik's Journal**

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**Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it! No declarations of undying love made to one another just yet, but we are getting there.**

**So please, please review! Reviews get me all excited! That puts me in a better mood for writing, you know...(",)**

_**x Restless And Tempted x**_


	9. The Chase Begins

_**A/N:**_ Hi all! Thank you so very much for all your wonderful reviews (I think I could be accused of glowing with the happiness!)

It's great to see reviews from some new readers (Hi new readers!) & just as wonderful to see reviews from some familiar readers (Hi familiar readers, delighted you're still here with me!).

So, this chapter is Madame Giry's POV entirely. Nadir is in there too but no POV from him. If you're a fan of his, don't worry I'm sure there'll be more from him later ;-)!

As usual with my story, Madame Giry is a blend of the books, musical & movie. So I hope you like the interpretation.

This chapter is rather internal, not much dialogue. But we needed to return to see how the others are fairing and I thought it would be interesting to devote a chapter to someone who approaches the situation more sentimentally but still as an outsider.

She doesn't know the full story, she can only hope, and she is more ready to hope than Nadir but less, well, delusional I suppose you could say, than Raoul.

I want to make sure and cover all aspects of the effect E & C's departure had before, well, the chase begins...(",)

So enough from me. Read and enjoy! (",)

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_**Chapter 9**_

_**The Chase Begins**_

There was something different. I had felt it all day. Something different, but I could not decipher if it was something wrong.

Practice had been postponed for some time to give the young girls of the ballet some rest before the dances for the new season would need to be rehearsed. A waste of time in my opinion…

Perhaps that was the root of my unease. I was not accustomed to being idle. Perhaps I was merely restless…

Yet there seemed more to it than that. I had remained in my quarters for almost the entire day trying to convince myself that I was doing so because I needed to rest. I am not sure that I always believed myself.

I often prided myself on being a rather sensible woman. I was not prone to panicking nor to believing in superstitions - certainly not since living here. The Opera is a breeding ground for outrageous superstitions, and unfortunately my dear Marguerite seemed to revel in it. After all, it seems that all performers are prone to being overly superstitious. I suppose they love the drama of it all.

But not I, not anymore. A long time ago I forced myself to leave behind such inherent, yet ignorant, thinking. I suppose Erik had a lot to do with that. Through him I have seen so much, heard so much, that it was impossible to remain unchanged.

When I was younger, I learned of the world listening to the broken tales of a lonely Ghost.

We had been friends, Erik and I, or as close to friends as he ever allowed.

Things had changed after I had my Meg…Things had changed after he discovered Christine…

But I was still bound to him in such an incomprehensible way.

No one could ever forget Erik once they knew him…

And so there I was, friend of the Ghost, sensible mother, hiding in my room from a rather ominous…feeling. Why could I not shake the notion that Erik was involved somehow? When had I become so superstitious, afraid of a vague, bad feeling?

I was almost relieved when Monsieur Nadir came to inform me that something was indeed amiss. At least I then had the comfort of knowing that I had been right to feel ill-at-ease. This feeling of satisfaction did not last long…

He had come asking for my help.

I knew instantly that something had happened with Erik, Nadir would not visit uninvited otherwise. We were not close really, Nadir and I. In fact, were it not for Erik, I suppose we would not have known one another at all.

He would have remained known to me only as the Persian and I would have been only Madame Giry to him. Or the worthy Madame Giry as he so often referred to me as.

I never felt the need to dissuade this flattering title.

No, we were not close, not really. But only those who knew Erik could understand the strange mix of emotions that bound us all together…How knowing Erik is anything but simple. This has, over time, forged us a bond that allows us to be not quite close friends but so much more than mere acquaintances.

I listened avidly as Nadir explained everything as he knew it to me; I felt my heart grow heavier.

_Oh Erik, what have you done?_

_Christine, my sweet innocent girl…Was I a fool to have allowed the Angel of Music to take you under his wing? Could I have stopped it?_

I had feared this from the very beginning but I had so wanted to believe that finally Erik had found some measure of happiness. Perhaps even redemption? Never was there a soul in need of it more!

And now he had disappeared off into the darkness with his beloved protégé.

Was he really capable of hurting her so?

I knew that Nadir feared the worst. I could see it in his anxious features…but I knew he did not want to. I knew he had reason to doubt it as much as he had reason to believe it. He had told me as much while recounting his trip to Erik's home with Raoul.

I think, even had Nadir not told me of these reasons for doubt, I still would have been hesitant to believe that Erik had taken Christine forcibly. I so wanted to believe that she had gone willingly, despite how it pained me somewhat that she had not said goodbye…that _he _had not said goodbye…

I had watched them flounder before they encountered one another. He had been drowning in his darkness and she had been suffocating in her grief.

They had clung to one another after they found each other. Both had denied it, but I wasn't such a fool that I didn't notice.

I saw the good that they did one another, so much goodness! I saw a young girl blossoming, clawing her way out of misery, and a cynical man finding beauty in the world again.

And I saw the bad…The pain of a love made seemingly impossible by fear and lies.

It was love, I knew that. Love changed everything for them. Erik had never really known love, he did not understand the harm he caused…And Christine, she was in love with an Angel, it was difficult for her to come to terms with the man…

So much changed so quickly between them and I was powerless to stop it.

I watched in agony as they pulled one another apart like the terrified, lost children they had never truly stopped being. They had been unable to face reality and so they had run from it, blaming one another for their own mistakes.

Christine had turned to her childhood sweetheart and broken Erik's heart.

Why that dear young man had had no idea how to handle the tales that Christine told him! And now here he was meddling in affairs that he could not possibly understand! He could not find Erik and Christine first, not if this was to end peacefully.

Just how much did she love the boy? Did she love Erik more, the man and not the Angel? I had never gotten the chance to ask her these things, never gotten the chance to reason with Erik. I suppose I had been just as frightened, just as lost…

Were we all just children playing at being adults? Was this the truth of love, of the world?

I had to find out. I had to find my lost children and see the truth for myself…whether I liked it or not…

I felt, as I always had and probably always would, like I had to protect them. Even if that meant protecting them from themselves.

I could feel the guilt that threatened to consume me building up to form a lump in my throat as Nadir and I sat in silence in the living-room area.

We were both probably tormented by the same thoughts.

Perhaps there had been more we could have done to prevent all the pain that had arisen from this seemingly doomed affair.

But, alas, in this world there is little time for indulging in sentimentality or even self-pity, not when one is needed.

And we were needed, Nadir and I.

There would be time for regret later…but hopefully no need for it.

Yet, as we looked at each other, I knew we both felt that unbearable weight.

The weight of the world.

It was up to us now, lives hung in the balance. I felt so old in that moment, so weary.

Why did I feel like I had spent almost my entire life searching for Erik and yet never truly finding him? I could only pray that perhaps Christine had.

There had always been more to their bond than simple need.

Raoul would be relentless in his search but so would we, and we would find Erik first.

We would rectify the situation if that was what was required of us.

We would return Christine to her young man if that is what she wanted, though we would derive no pleasure from hurting Erik so.

But I had to know that they were alright, both of them…

I would help Nadir, whatever that entailed. Fear was unwelcome guest in my heart at the thought.

However, I was not afraid for our own sakes, our fates had been sealed the moment we met Erik. No, it was the others involved in this private opera of ours that I feared for.

No one remained unchanged after knowing Erik…Not Nadir and I…Not Christine or Raoul…Not even Erik…

Leaning forward I took Nadir's warm hands in mine. We smiled sadly at one another.

We really were getting to old for this.

"You will help me then, Madame?" He asked out of courtesy, I knew. He had known what my answer would be as soon as he walked in.

"Of course, but we must get to work, Monsieur. I shall cover for Christine's absence by having a word with my _dear _managers. We must be very careful in our search. Erik cannot know we are looking for him, and neither can Monsieur de Chagny."

Nadir nodded gravely. The tragic fate awaiting Raoul if he found Erik hung in the air between us but remained unspoken. Silence seemed safer somehow.

"Do you have any suggestions of where to start?" He asked quietly.

"Oui, we will talk to Monsieur Jules Bernard. He will know of many, if not all, of the places we should look."

Instantly Nadir understood the logic of this.

Jules was, what one could call, Erik's assistant. But then again, he was really rather more than that. He was another soul irrevocably linked to Erik.

He was Erik's connection to the world beyond the walls of the Opera House. That world above ground that mere mortals inhabited.

I knew this because I had often had to deliver messages to Monsieur Jules on Erik's behalf in times gone by.

Jules handled any business Erik needed tending to. This I hoped would include the buying of property. Erik was no longer living in the Opera it seemed but he would have to be living somewhere, especially if he had Christine.

"Ah, of course, I had not thought of that! It is a much better plan than mine…You are as worthy as I always believed Madame."

I was so unused to flattery these days that I almost blushed, but I am not prone to such school-girlish behaviour and so I merely nodded curtly.

Nadir did not hide his grin well enough.

We were to begin our quest at dawn. What a sight we would look! A Persian and a Ballet Mistress roaming Paris…tracking a Ghost. If the situation weren't so grave it may have been funny.

But there was no time for humour. No time for anything really. We were needed.

We were the keepers of the secrets of the Ghost, and the friends of the man known only as Erik, though his has had many names.

Now, we found ourselves searching for him to unravel more of his terrible secrets.

How could we prepare ourselves for how this would end? How much horror could one heart hold? How much pain?

How could we have known that as we finalised our plans just outside my door that a dark figure was lingering nearby. Listening.

I caught sight of it as we parted but the shadowy form disappeared too quickly for me to recognise it.

Still a shiver passed through me and I hurried off to find my Meg.

The chase had begun…

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Okay, so I know that there was no actual E & C in this chapter, but they were mentioned a lot...So please review and let me know what you think.

E & C next chapter I promise, but don't forget to review my dear readers.

x Restless And Tempted x


	10. Learning To Listen

_**A/N:**_** I am so sorry for the delay but my excuses are valid. I have been a bit poorly recently (so forgive me if this chapter is not the best as a result) and life has also been intruding on my writing-time. **

**I want to let you know now though, that while updates may slow down a little, this story will not be abandoned! So fear not, it is planned and only requires being written out.**

**As always thank you, thank you, thank you to all my reviewers. You all rock! A lot!**

**This chapter is in Chrisitne's POV, and I hope the end of it, at least, makes up for the delay in updating. Lots of necessary dialogue and some book/musical references.**

**Please enjoy, and don't forget to review! (",)**

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_**Chapter 10**_

_**Learning To Listen**_

_Erik had taught himself to want for very little. He had learnt to control his wants._

_There was only one thing really that he wanted so much he could not control it…Me…My love…_

_There was not a day that went by that that did not humble me._

**- Extract From Christine's Diary**

When I awoke Erik was gone from my side. This disappointed me a little but I understood. He would not wish for me to think that he had taken advantage of me in any way while I slept. I would not have thought this but I appreciated Erik's thoughtfulness none the less. Though I had wanted to wake beside him very much…

After readying myself sufficiently I went in search of my elusive Erik.

I found him in the dining room. He was standing by one of the large windows at the head of the table staring out at the trees beyond. There was a plate of food at the opposite end of the table.

He did not turn to face me and so I assumed that he wished me to eat first before we spoke as I knew we had to. This was probably for the best as my stomach chose that moment to growl most embarrassingly. If I'm not mistaken I do believe I saw Erik trying to smother a smile at that. This quite lifted my spirits.

As I satisfied my stomach, I drank in the sight of Erik.

I thought him lost to me for a time yesterday and now here he stood. And while in some ways this greatly appeased me, in others I was not so content. For all I knew he was still lost to me. There was always so much bubbling beneath the surface between us and I doubted that would ever change…But it was my hope that it would improve.

As I thought of what I would say to him I found that I was losing my appetite. I was nervous. I pushed the plate away and Erik, seeming to sense that I was finished, finally turned towards me. He sat down elegantly at the opposite end of the table to me, all without ever actually looking at me. I felt the distance acutely.

Just as I had mustered the courage to speak, he finally raised his gaze to mine.

Goodness, the emotion swimming in those eyes. It left me rather speechless.

I could not figure out what exactly he was feeling for me in that moment.

It was he who was the first to speak.

"Christine." He whispered reverently. I nearly wept hearing him say my name so delicately when I had never thought to hear his voice again.

"Erik." I responded just as tenderly as my own inferior voice could express.

For a time that was all that we said to one another. There was beauty in the simplicity of saying each other's names, for we said them as if we were the only two people in the world. The momentary peace between us thrummed with emotion. We were content within our unsettled chaos just for those brief few moments.

We were broken but my God, it was beautiful!

Alas all things must end, and there was more to be said this day.

"I should not have left you, Christine.,"

I made to interrupt but Erik gently silenced me.

"I should not have…But I should not have taken you either."

My heart almost stopped. Did he not love me anymore, was that it? What would I do? How could he make me feel this way and then leave me to feel it alone?

"I should not have taken you without giving you the choice to refuse."

I was puzzled. What was Erik talking about? I had thought we would discuss our cruel words and yet he was discussing this?! I could not let him continue.

"Erik I had a choice. I made it. Here I am…with you."

This did not seem enough for him.

"You cannot call what I gave you a choice…I was so betrayed, angry…and I…but I had no right…I…"

He seemed to struggle for words and I was beginning to worry that this conversation would end as the other had. I couldn't allow that to happen. But what could I say?

"I could've run."

This seemed to stop him in his tracks and I knew then that this had occurred to him.

"Today, I could've escaped but I didn't. I thought about it…"

He flinched, but I had to be brutally honest if I wanted him to believe me.

"I imagined my life if I left…a life without you…and I couldn't bear it!"

"Wh…" Quickly I raised my hand to stop the obvious _why _he was about to ask me.

"No, Erik, don't you ask me that until you are ready to believe my answer."

I knew now without a doubt why I couldn't leave this impossible man. I loved him, and I so wished to tell him so forever. But I would not have him spurn the words.

He would believe them when I told him, I had to be sure of that first.

"I understand. But I must give you the choice now at least. If you wish to leave me, tell me now and I will return you to your life. I would do this for you if that is what you wished. I will not be like…others, in your life and stifle you. No longer will I stifle you. Erik would give you anything, even a life without him."

Instantly I knew to whom he referred when he spoke of others stifling me.

Raoul.

Erik would not mention his name; I was beginning to think he never wished to, lest it invoke my absent friend to appear.

I could see how important this was to him, this choice he wished to give me. He sat there so proud and yet so strangely vulnerable. My answer would not only decide my fate but his as well.

And yet to me it was all beginning to seem so ridiculous. I had made my choice.

I chose Erik. It was done.

He was the only one fighting it.

It appeared that I would have to make this very clear.

"Erik, that is enough." I did not raise my voice but I spoke firmly. "We will not go through this again. I am here. This is my choice. You are not stifling me…perhaps you once did, but no longer. It is only your failure to believe that stifles me now. That is what we must discuss now, not this silliness."

He sat so still as I spoke, almost disbelievingly still. He was not used to such interaction as this…being almost mildly scolded…being spoken to as a human being…

It amused me somewhat to surprise him so, even as it saddened me to watch him struggle with how to respond. I decided I would begin.

"Erik, I am so sorry for my hasty words yesterday. You must know I didn't mean them. You must see that!"

I felt myself becoming emotional and tried to control the reflexive impulse. I wanted to be strong and composed for him, not a weeping wreck.

Erik groaned as if in pain and yet he smiled tenderly at me,

"You never could lie to your Angel of Music…though you had him quite convinced this time. You are changing, my dear Christine…oh, and it is beautiful even when it hurts."

He seemed to sigh the words and I suddenly wished to be closer to him.

"I am changing for you."

I murmured, almost embarrassed to say it as I knew that I was not quite there yet.

Again he groaned quietly, he almost didn't seem to realise.

"Ah, but you do not have to change so much! It is I who must change! Even now while you say such beautiful things Erik cannot say that he forgives you, though he wishes to!"

This stung, in fact it burned. A sudden, violent pain caused by those words that I understood and yet couldn't bring myself to accept. I felt so desperate for his forgiveness but even I could see that I had not done enough to deserve it.

But did this change his love for me?

"Erik, what I did to you…"

He cut me off, "You have already apologised, Christine…"

"No, Erik, at the Opera…"

Breathing deeply I mustered the courage to finish my sentence, "With Raoul."

Erik's whole body seemed to tighten at the mention of that name. His eyes were terrifying in their stormy intensity. But I had to continue. Though I could barely look him in the eye at times.

"That was what this all began with, was it not? I said some cruel things to you yesterday, Erik, but you were not faultless either. You do not trust me…and it is because of Raoul."

"Christine…" his voice was strained. This was not the conversation he was prepared for it seemed…but it was the one we needed. He lapsed into silence, unwilling to add to the discussion but unable to stop it.

"I am sorry, Erik, that I hurt you but you must understand…I was so young and so frightened. I have never liked change, always feared the future…always clung to the past. Raoul was my past, when things began to change I did all that I knew how to do. I ran to him. And yes, perhaps for a time I believed I loved him more than I did."

"Please, Christine!"

Erik covered his ears but I knew he was still listening. Beside I couldn't stop now!

"You have done some terrible things, Erik, I will not lie to you…not anymore…and it scared me to lo…it scared me how I felt about you…how I feel."

He flinched a little at my words but I ignored it.

"Perhaps, it scares me still…but I am stronger now, I think. I am changing…and I am here. I do not regret that…I could never regret you. Don't you see?"

I was thoroughly exhausted after my little speech and I held my head in my hands, so afraid that I had failed to reach him.

After an eternal pause, he spoke in a wondering tone,

"You speak as though you have aged so much and in such a short time…Perhaps you have…Changing, blooming…"

Yes, perhaps I had aged…and changed, but it was for the better surely.

We regarded each other cautiously for another long moment. Something seemed to pass through Erik's eyes and finally, he found it within him to speak.

"I may have pretended that I was an Angel, Christine, but I never pretended to be a good man. Yes, I did terrible things. I hurt you, as you hurt me…but you know that I never meant to. I only wished for your love but I was not prepared for it. And your boy…"

I noted that he still refused to use Raoul's name.

"I will not lie to you either, Christine, I wished to kill him! And, perhaps, I still do…"

He tried to gauge my reaction to this news, but I revealed nothing. I had already known this deep down.

"I do not think I could ever let you see him again."

Again, I showed no change in emotion, though inside my heart ached a little.

I had never really gotten the chance to say goodbye to Raoul…

I had hoped…but that was a thought for another day.

"I cannot list my sins, for they are many…but I can change, my dear, I can! For you. It is difficult for me to explain myself, difficult for me to see the things that are…good in life. So much is new to me, though I have lived far more than you, my little one.

But I can learn to trust and to forgive…and to love, if that is what you wish."

"But is it what you wish, Erik?"

I am sure his words had meant to reassure but they instead made me doubt again. What did he want?

"Yes." He had to force the word from his mouth, and then seemed to recoil as though waiting to be punished for his admittance. Oh, what kind of life had he known!

I rose slowly from my chair. This seemed to worry him. He probably thought I was going to leave. Oh, when would he learn to listen?

I approached him as he remained sitting in his chair. This seemed to worry him even more.

When I reached him, I lay my head down lightly on his knees and placed a soft kiss there. He suddenly seemed unable to catch his breath.

"Then that is what you shall have…what we shall have."

His hand hovered above my head but did not touch.

"I have done unforgivable things, Christine…"

I would not let this discourage me. For though his words were intended as a warning, he seemed hesitant to push me away again. Another step forward…

"Yes, but I could argue that so have I. And if nothing else, Erik, I believe I forgive you."

My sincerity seemed to tear a sob from him, and in an instant he was on the floor beside me, holding me tightly. I relished the contact.

"I will learn…I will forgive you and trust. Oh, forgive me that it is not today! I am not worthy of your goodness! You say you could not let go of the past but it is Erik who cannot! But, so help me, I will! All for Christine, everything for Christine! Forever!"

He sobbed into my hair and I soon found myself crying with him.

Our tears mingled together in a glorious stream that seemed to cleanse us anew.

There was something almost sacred in the act. We were reborn…reunited.

I was seized by a sudden intense urge and I pulled back slightly from Erik.

His tears had somewhat subsided but they still glistened brightly in his breathtaking eyes.

"Please, Erik," I begged, "Please let me tell you how I feel! Please say that you will believe me! You must believe me! Ask me again why I didn't leave you!"

His defences were down for now, and his soul seemed to shine in his eyes. There was fear, but there was hope. We had to move forwards. We had to be honest…to be together. He had to know once and for all why I stayed. Finally he seemed ready to listen.

Leaning very close to me, he whispered, "Why did you not leave me?"

Finally…Finally, he had asked me. I was exhilarated at the thought of my response.

My heart was beating so fast I imagined he could hear it.

Leaning forward too, I replied, "Because Erik…I love you."

Before I knew it his lips were upon mine. The emotion of at last hearing those words made him bold enough to share his intoxicating passion with me. Such soft lips he had…so full of fire. But I was eager to be burned. I melted into his embrace and forgot the world completely.

I knew that there was more that I wished to say to him, but not today.

Today we had endured enough, I think.

"I love you too, my Christine."

He murmured against my lips as his kiss intensified.

I made sure to enjoy it as I did not know when he would be brave enough to attempt this again. Perhaps, after today he would have the confidence to do so…or perhaps I would initiate it…

I will not deny that both ideas held quite some appeal…

_This day went rather well…_

It was my last proper thought before his lips again pulled my mind, not to mention my soul, away from me…

_**I had returned to give her a gift of choice. It had been rather amazing, and a little annoying, to have it so recklessly unwanted. But I had gained so much more from that day, how could I complain? And her words to me, not to mention that kiss, burned themselves into my memory so intensely that how could anything else matter?**_

_**I was learning. There was so much I was learning.**_

_**I was being made whole again. **_

_**By one tiny woman with a heart, and courage, beyond compare. **_

_**I was loved.**_

**- Extract from Erik's Journal**

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**Well, there ya go...anyone want to let me know what they think? Please...it'll make me feel better (",)!**

**The next chapter will probably be in Erik's POV, or at least part of it.**

**Until then, my dears, please review.**

_**x Restless And Tempted x**_


	11. In Love With A Stranger

_**A/N:**_ **Hi, I know it's been quite some time but other commitments will not leave me alone long enough for me to write! So forgive me if this chapter doesn't seem quite up to scratch, but I've been trying so hard to find time to write it for you!**

**As always thank you all so much for c****ontinuing to read and review. Hope you guys are still interested in this story despite the wait! (",)**

**This chapter is Erik's POV first, then a little of Christine's at the end (her POV didn't need to be too long this time as, essentially, it would only be like repetition of Erik's thoughts in this case). **

**I ****must apologise as this may seem like a bit of a short filler chapter but everything happens for a reason & this is necessary in showing how not everything is fixed by "I love you". Sometimes it complicates things even further... ;-)**

**Well hopefully you all enjoy!**

**Please don't forget to review!**

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_**Chapter 11**_

_**In Love With A Stranger**_

_**Who are we really? **_

_**Does anyone truly know themselves or are we all just strangers pretending to be familiar?**_

_**Beyond the restraints of society and fear, in the depths of our souls…Who are we? Can love answer that question?**_

**- Extract from Erik's Journal**

My God, this was beautiful madness!

Surely I had died and somehow snuck into Heaven for nothing had ever felt as wonderful as Christine's lips upon my own.

Over and over those breathtaking words played in my mind. They sang through my blood and made my heart almost beat out of my chest. I was experiencing every ridiculous cliché about love which I, in my loneliness, had scorned.

_Because Erik…I love you…I love you….Erik….I love you…love…_

Was there ever a sweeter sound than my Christine boldly declaring her love for me? Love which I surely couldn't deny, not in that glorious moment. I could compose entire operas from the sound of those words and the reaction they provoked in me.

Never would I have been so bold as to embrace my beloved Christine in such a way before.

But her words made me feel bold.

For once I felt as though I had the right to touch her.

Who had I become? I barely knew myself in that moment.

So often I had dreamed of holding her, touching her…but I had detested myself for my thoughts. I had thought that I would never fulfil my useless desires.

What loathsome sinner could dare to win the affections of an Angel as pure as she?

I had been unworthy then…unworthy of touching her or loving her.

I was a tainted creation only capable of ruining her, and she was so good…so breakable…

But she was here now, in my arms, and she was not broken. She did not seem ruined or damaged…she seemed whole…

Had I done that? Did I truly complete her as she completed me?

She had wilted in my absence, and now, that precious girl gloried in my presence.

She held me to her as though I were the precious one. How had this happened?

What had changed between us to allow this to occur? I had returned to her fully expecting to watch her leave me. I was allowing her freedom and instead she bound me to her tighter than ever before.

She wanted me, she loved me. For me she left Paris…for me she left that boy, Raoul. Raoul, hah! I could think his name now and it didn't matter! It didn't hurt because she loved me. She was with Erik, not him!

The intensity between us grew, as I became ever more euphoric in my lovesick musings. I held her tighter, kissed her deeper. Kissed her as best I could, so that she would never forget my embrace.! The embrace of the man she loved.

She moaned in a sweet, contented manner.

It was a sound I had never heard her make before. And it almost made me pause in my kisses for a moment. Though Christine didn't seem to notice.

There was something about that sound that bothered me almost as much as it pleased me.

I had heard my beloved sing so as to make the angels weep, I had heard her laugh and cry. She had raised her voice in anger at me and whispered to me tenderly.

But I had never heard her sound like that before…so passionate and in love.

It seemed strange and unfamiliar…

I had always known that my dear Christine was a young woman capable of great fire and passion. It shone through in her voice but I had never expected to witness the blooming of this delicate rose.

I had told her that she was changing, and she was…but how much?

No one knew Christine like I did, sometimes not even she, I believe. I had known her as a girl, timid and mournful but with a fire within her waiting to be ignited. I had known her as a student, dedicated and talented with the ability to bring the world to its knees. She had been my muse and my one joy for all the time I had known her.

But I did not know her as a woman; and if there was one thing my Christine had suddenly become it was a woman, right before my very eyes…here, in my arms…

I did not know her as a man knows the woman he loves.

I did not know her.

What did she expect from me now? What more could I give her? I wanted to give her everything but would she want it? I did not know what she wanted from me. Should I have known? Suddenly my joy was clouded by terror. Foolish, childlike terror.

I had never been loved before, I could not understand what it meant for our relationship. We had never openly been more than maestro and protégé. We had never kissed like this, never spoken of our feeling so candidly.

This day had changed everything and I was terrified.

I wanted this more than anything, I always had. My Christine…willing…loving…

But where did we go from here? We were not the same as we were before. Christine was no longer a child, and I was no longer a Ghost.

All that had not changed, it seemed, was my love for her. I still loved her desperately, perhaps even more so now. And so I was deathly afraid of disappointing her.

It seemed that my battles were not finished just yet, but Lord knows I would fight for Christine forever. And that is exactly what I was faced with. I would have to learn to be all that she needed in this new role of lover that I found myself in.

It would certainly be the role of a lifetime.

What a twist in the tale, certainly no audience would have expected it.

But most of all I would have to learn to understand the enigma that was the girl-turned-woman that I loved. I could not command her anymore, I was not her teacher.

I could not frighten her anymore, I was not the Opera Ghost.

I was Erik, I was the man she loved.

Pulling back from her tempting lips, I regarded her in the same shocked sort of awe, with which she regarded me.

I had a feeling that a similar realisation had struck her too.

My God, she was beautiful. She was perfection, even with her flaws.

And suddenly she was a stranger.

I was in love with a stranger.

It was as beautiful as it was terrifying.

_**Christine's POV**_

I was frozen by fear and fascination as we stared at one another.

I could tell that we both thought the same thing.

How foolish we must have looked. But I could not think of that at that moment, I was too busy trying to process my thoughts correctly.

Surely I was being ridiculous. There was no need to be so fearful, so girlishly nervous. I had know Erik forever it seemed. I knew of the darkness and the light constantly at war within him. I had witnessed his genius firsthand, I had even inspired it on occasion, (or so he told me). I had felt his passion and his pain.

I knew him more than I had ever known anyone.

He possessed, not just my heart, but my very soul.

And yet, there was much left for me to learn. He was a man now to me in a way he had never been before. Even when he had revealed himself to be no more than flesh and blood, he had still remained somewhat unattainable, untouchable in the secret corners of my mind.

But now…I was finally his and he was mine. He was no longer untouchable.

Was I not here in his arms? He was holding me, he had boldly kissed me with more love than I had ever felt before.

So why did I feel nervous as well as excited at the thought?

Erik was a complex man, and there was much about him that I was still trying to understand. This very human man that he was with me now was unfamiliar to me.

I did not know him.

Yet surely the worst was over now that we were together…

But everything would be different now…We were different now.

We were equals. We were inexperienced. But most importantly we were in love.

And oh, how I loved him! My human Angel.

It was madness really…I barely knew myself anymore.

I was in love with a stranger.

It was as beautiful as it was terrifying.

_**What happens when you finally have the one you love? The one you have loved for so long and never thought to have? Everything is new…exciting and terrifying!**_

_**In essence…you become strangers to one another again.**_

_**Strangers in love…**_

**- Extract from Christine's Diary**

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**So there ya have it...any thoughts?**

**Please let me know, I do so love those opinions of yours (",)**

_**x Restless And Tempted x**_


	12. The Pawns' First Move

_**A/N:**_ **'Tis me again! Hope you all had a great Halloween!**

**Thank you all so very much for your wonderful reviews! I am uber-grateful as always. It's great to know that you're still reading and enjoying my lil story. Thank you to you all!**

**This chapter deals with our other characters again, because as you know they are desperate to find E&C before the other does. It begins in Madame Giry's POV and ends with Raoul's. Oh, and forgive me my poor attempt at a sort of chess analogy, I just couldn't help myself. (",)**

**Anyway let's see how they are getting on shall we?**

**Read, Review and Enjoy! **

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_**Chapter 12**_

_**The Pawns' First Move**_

My daughter had questioned me endlessly about why I had to leave the Opera for a time with Monsieur Khan. I did not feel it wise to divulge the details of Christine's disappearance to her yet. My Meg was a good girl and Christine was her friend, but she was prone to gossip even at the worst of times. And Heaven forbid she should spill her secrets to a certain young man who was most definitely eager to find Christine as well.

I think my daughter was suspicious that our intentions were less than pure. I found this to be almost comical. Nadir and I, really…Where would we find the time?

She refused to acknowledge Nadir's presence in the room and regarded me sternly as I left.

"Remember Papa." She whispered imperiously

"Young lady!" I reprimanded instantly and she bowed her head shamefully.

That girl was growing up much too fast!

I knew I would have to explain the situation to her eventually. I only hoped it would be good news I could give her.

The sun had barely risen as Nadir and I exited the Opera House, therefore there were not many people around. This suited our needs rather well as we did make an odd pair, and the last thing we needed was to be noticed. Our pursuit had to be kept a secret for everyone's sake. However, the earliness of the hour meant that there would be few hansom cabs for us to acquire to get us to our destination.

"I believe we may have to walk, Monsieur."

My voice betrayed no hint of emotion but I certainly was not relishing the thought of walking so far a distance. However, I would never admit that. I had a reputation to maintain, after all.

"Have a lady such as yourself walk such a distance at this hour? Never, my dear Madame"

I had no time for such theatrical flattery.

"Then what do you suppose we do, Monsieur Khan? As you can see it is a little early to expect an abundance of hansoms!"

Boldly he took my arm and began to lead me around the side of the Opera House,

"I had planned for just such a problem. So I persuaded this young fellow to be here this morning if he wished to receive a fare with a handsome tip."

Sure enough there was a hansom waiting for us when we turned the corner.

"I am most impressed, Monsieur. And I am not easily impressed."

"Then I shall treasure this moment dearly, Madame."

I couldn't help but laugh. For such an upstanding gentleman, Monsieur Khan could be quite the rogue!

All levity was abandoned, however, as we got on our way. It was time to speak with Monsieur Jules Bernard.

Jules' house was situated in a pleasant enough area. He had done well out of his association with Erik, financially at least. There was something sadly unsettling at times about Monsieur Bernard's connection to Erik. Erik terrified him and yet he was undyingly loyal to him. Anyone could see that his loyal devotion was not born from fear but genuine gratitude and concern. Anyone but Erik.

Yet, that wasn't to say that their acquaintance hadn't taken its toll on Jules. He was a troubled man, but I refused to believe that all of this was due to Erik.

After all, I had met Madame Bernard…

But perhaps that is cruel of me to think…

Monsieur Bernard's face was indeed a picture when he opened the door to my travelling companion and I. Such a nervous creature already, this unexpected visit surely was not good for his health.

Yet as always his first concern, though hesitantly asked, was for his employer. It had always endeared him to me somewhat.

"Madame, is _he _alright?"

We both knew to whom he referred. Jules seemed hesitant to speak his name before Nadir though. It seemed that they had not met before, or if they had it had not gone well. Monsieur Khan most probably acted too much the detective causing Jules to instinctively become cleverly secretive. From what I knew of him it was his way.

He was a clever man despite his unassuming demeanour; Erik had not employed him for nothing.

"I am afraid that that is what we need to ascertain, Monsieur Bernard. May we come in?"

Jules glanced furtively at Nadir but I was in no mood for such caution and paranoia.

"An old friend of Erik's I assure you Monsieur. One on whom Erik would not appreciate you casting doubts."

I stated rather haughtily for effect as I barged in past the poor man. Nadir seemed unsure whether to be shocked or amused.

Jules spluttered his apologies nervously and I almost regretted bullying him so, but we needed to be on our way.

I had the distinct feeling that time was our enemy.

Jules led us to the parlour where his wife sat sewing. She raised her head with a slight smile but her expression hardened when she recognised my face. She immediately stormed from the room.

"Your wife is as charming as ever, Monsieur." I sniffed; I was unaccustomed to being treated so rudely. It did not sit well with me. Had I been any less of a lady I would have had a few choice words for Madame Bernard.

"You must excuse her, she does not understand. She only wants what she thinks is best for me…" he shrugged helplessly.

This only furthered irritated me. Did that woman not see how much Erik had done for her and her family? I opened my mouth to respond but Nadir's discreet cough halted me. I was getting off track. My emotions were certainly running high today.

"Monsieur Bernard, we need a list of any properties Erik has purchased. Are you able to give us such a list?"

Nadir's words were straight to the point and I waited expectantly.

Monsieur Bernard seemed to squirm under my gaze.

"I…forgive me Monsieur, Madame…but Erik would not want me to…"

"For God's sake man, Erik's very life may depend on us receiving this information! So do you have what we need or not?!"

My outburst startled even myself but I couldn't help it! Erik had done God knows what with Christine and her young man was determined to retrieve her.

Erik would need me…whether it be to help him and Christine escape from Raoul or to pick up the pieces when we allowed Raoul to find Christine. Erik needed me…

Nadir placed his hands gently on my arms to calm me.

He turned his earnest gaze on Monsieur Bernard and spoke evenly but haltingly,

"Monsieur, Erik has…left with a very dear…friend. However, there is a young man who does not like the idea of this friend being in Erik's company. It would greatly upset Erik and his…friend if this gentleman were to find them. Therefore it is our duty to warn them first. We must find him, Monsieur…we must…can you help?"

Again, Monsieur Bernard hesitated and I began to despair. I was not prone to such excessive displays of emotion, but I was unused to feeling so helpless.

"Monsieur…Jules…please…" I urged softly, my eyes beginning to sting a little.

I cannot be sure whether it was Nadir's rationally persuasive words or my pleading expression, but Jules seemed to surrender and excused himself for a moment.

When he returned he seemed a little distressed, but he handed us a folder containing various documents and I felt my heart lift a little.

"These are a copy of all the details concerning Erik's various properties. He had many copies made. There are several properties detailed within, three of which are situated abroad…but I doubt that he has gone that far, else I would know about it I'm sure." He smiled wanly, before turning sombre once more.

He turned to address me, still not quite comfortable with Nadir.

"Please Madame, see to it that he comes to no harm…he and his dear friend. He at least deserves peace and if that is all I can help him have, then…"

He trailed off, mildly embarrassed and almost worried by his little speech.

I took his slightly shaking hand and squeezed it briefly.

"Erik has always appreciated what you do for him. You are a good man Jules Bernard and a stronger one than you think."

My words seemed to touch him greatly and I felt that I had redeemed myself for my earlier mistreatment of him.

We left Jules at the door to his quaint little home. His children had begun to engage in a rather rowdy game of chasing and we were glad to escape.

Yet I couldn't help looking back as we walked away from that house.

Jules stood there watching us off. His concern was palpable yet he hid it behind a shaky smile.

He had harboured many of Erik's secrets for a very long time.

He had all the information he needed to have Erik condemned and rid himself of his presence forever. Yet not once had he shown any signs of doing so. And I knew it was not just fear that motivated him. He was a shaken man but as I had told him he was strong too. He was worthy of my respect and I did not give it lightly.

I nodded at him and he returned the gesture before retreating into his house.

How would he have been had he not met Erik? How would his life have turned out? Had Erik saved him, or damned him?

Were these not questions one could ask of all of us who knew the infamous Trap Door Lover, the tortured genius that was Erik…

But there was no point in dwelling on how Jules might have been; this was how he was.

He was as haunted as the rest of us…

"So my dear Madame, what is our next move?"

Nadir asked when we were safely in our hansom again.

"We begin searching these properties. It will take some time, I suspect, but we must hope we are not too late."

"And if we are?" Nadir murmured almost imperceptibly.

"Then you shall pray to your God and I shall pray to mine…for only God could help us then…"

The hansom began its journey back to the Opera House, and I do believe that both of us got a head start on our prayers.

From what I could see of the sky, it looked like rain…

**Raoul's POV**

I had tried not to dwell on how low I felt following the Persian fellow and Madame Giry, but I had promised myself that I would do anything to bring my Christine back safely to me. And so, I had to put my pride aside and skulk in the shadows as they seemed to force their way into the home of a Monsieur Jules Bernard.

An employee of that monster's he was. I still found the idea incomprehensible. Who could work for such a beast?

I found myself almost dozing as I waited for the pair to leave the house. It was after all very early and I was not used to being awake at such an ungodly hour.

Yet, every time I closed my eyes all I could see was my beloved in the arms of a malevolent shade. I never saw his face and it was most unsettling. Yet, it was not his face that disturbed me most, it was Christine's. She seemed to enjoy the embrace she was trapped in. I shuddered and opened my eyes to see Madame Giry and Nadir Khan leaving the house at last, a folder in hand.

I waited until the hansom had left before I approached the house.

Straightening my jacket, for I was ever aware of the importance of appearances, I knocked politely on the door.

The man who opened it was a nervous fellow but his manner seemed pleasant enough. Indeed I felt a great deal of pity for him. What had he endured under his employer's reign?

"Good day, my good man, I am terribly sorry to impose on you but this shan't take long. I am need of the whereabouts of your employer, Erik. He has taken something that does not belong to him and I wish to see the situation rectified. If you could just give me the same information you gave to my friends Monsieur Khan and Madame Giry, I would be most grateful and be on my way."

I felt it best to be as straight forward as possible. I was certain that this poor man would jump at the chance of ridding himself of the burden of his Phantom task-master. I was shockingly mistaken.

The man's face instantly hardened and he regarded me with cool suspicion.

"Why can your _friends _not share the information I supposedly gave to them with you, _my good man."_

From his appearance I had expected a spineless creature but Monsieur Jules faced me with a certain arrogance almost. It quite threw me.

"Ah, well you see, I-I fear that this may be too dangerous for them…and so I wish to find this _thing _first. I am sure you understand."

Monsieur Jules' eyes seemed to fill with outrage at my words. I could not think what had so offended him. I was helping him by dealing with Erik surely!

"A thing, Monsieur! A…You will leave here this instant, do you hear? I do not know you and I will not have my employer insulted in such an ungentlemanly manner!"

He began to close the door on me but I pushed my arm through.

"Please Monsieur Jules, if he has threatened you in any way. I will rid you of him; mark my words, my friend!"

"You will do no such thing Monsieur! I do not betray Monsieur Erik to any stranger who comes along and asks, and I would never! You will never return here, never speak to me again! And do not presume to know of my employer! He is more than you will ever comprehend. Perhaps this '_thing' _that Monsieur Erik has taken does not wish to be found by you, have you ever considered that!"

He all but spat the words at me before slamming the door on me. That impertinent man!

I stood outside the door for quite some time in a state of angry shock. I had half a mind to barge in there and take what I required but alas, I had heard the shouts of children inside…and I was not yet such a brute who would risk frightening them.

Perhaps I could take them by force from Madame Giry…

My God, had I already become such a craven creature that I would steal from an elderly woman! But I had hit quite a dead end…what was I to do if I did not get my hands on that folder? Erik had been a Ghost for years for God's sake, if there was one thing he knew it was undoubtedly how to disappear!

I began to wander numbly away from the house, my mind running in circles looking for a way out of the maze it had trapped itself in.

Suddenly I heard a shout from behind me. There was a woman chasing after me.

Curious, I stopped and waited for her to reach me and catch her breath.

She was rather pretty in an unassuming way, certainly not the angel my Christine was! She looked weary. I bowed politely.

"Monsieur, you are looking for a…a _man_…named Erik, yes?"

I was startled, what did this woman know of Erik? Could she help me?

"Who are you?" I blurted out, somewhat rudely.

"Forgive me, Monsieur, of course, I am Madame Jules Bernard."

Jules' wife? What a turn of events! Had she come to chastise me for my conduct at her door? I made to apologise but before I could she grabbed my hand and thrust a folder into it.

"Take this!" She urged breathlessly, "And do not tell my husband of this! This is the same folder he gave to those other two…it is what you wanted, yes?"

She was frantic in her manner and I was a little unnerved. She should not have been giving me these things behind her husband's back, it was highly improper. Yet, how could I refuse the information I so desperately needed…and so I nodded and took the folder from her.

"Please find him, Monsieur! Find him and make sure he never returns to my home again! Never, do you hear?! He wants to destroy our lives, I know it! Do what ever you have to to put an end to his terror…whatever you have to!"

Finally, someone with a semblance of sense…though I cannot say I felt comforted by her desperate zeal…

Nevertheless I took her hand and kissed it most sincerely.

"You have done me a great service, Madame, and I thank you! You are a very great lady!"

She blushed charmingly and seemed to forget her frantic state for a moment.

Just then a child's voice rang through the air,

"Mama! Mama, where are you? Papa is worried!"

Instantly, Madame Bernard withdrew, her face an icy mask.

"Do _whatever _you have to."

She reminded me forcefully before abandoning her dignified stance and running back to her house, where one of children stood waiting.

Looking down at the folder in my hand I felt a great sense of triumph well up inside me. I now had the means to find Erik and deal with him…in whatever way I had to.

Still, the image of Christine in that shadowy embrace would not leave me.

And Monsieur Bernard's words borrowed deep into my mind…

_Perhaps this 'thing' that Monsieur Erik has taken does not wish to be found by you, have you ever considered that!_

Quickly I made my way to my carriage, ready to begin the search.

And yet those words still followed me…

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_**And so it seemed the game had suddenly truly begun.**_

_**The pawns were all in motion.**_

_**But where would it all lead?**_

_**And what of the King and his Queen…**_

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**So there ya go! Please don't forget to let me know what you think!**

**Should be E&C next chapter. (",)**

**x Restless And Tempted x**


	13. Where Do We Go From Here

_**A/N:**_**Hello! Yup it's me...I am very sorry for the long delay but life is going to be a bit crazy for me over the next few months and so unfortunately the speed of my updates may suffer a little, but as I've said the story will be told, so don't worry. **

**Hope you guys will bear with me. (",)**

**Thank you very very much for all your reviews! You all rock as much as Muse! (And that's a whole lot!)**

**Anyway, this chapter starts in Christine's POV and ends in Erik's.**

**It may seem a tad short but hopefully that doesn't detract from it, as it is necessary to move us along.**

**Enjoy and don't forget to review! (",)**

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_**Chapter 13**_

_**Where Do We Go From Here?**_

_**Love filled that little house in the woods and, despite our lingering insecurities, I believe we were happy there. **_

_**But sadly I had always known we couldn't stay…Paris made Erik nervous. **_

_**Perhaps he was still a little afraid that it would somehow lure me back…**_

**- Extract from Christine's Diary**

Over the next two weeks or so (time was so hard to keep track of in our timeless world) our life seemed to settle into some odd little semblance of peace.

We were both almost overflowing with joy and love, but we were cautious all the same. Neither of us quite knew yet how to express our devotion without overstepping some sort of boundary. Neither of us was sure if there was a boundary! I was afraid of overwhelming Erik and I think he was even more afraid of doing the same to me.

He had always been an intense man but I think I was beginning to find that I could almost match that intensity. Perhaps that shocked Erik most.

We were like children learning how to walk…frightened to run lest we fall.

I had never thought that love could be like this, so uncertain in its tender brilliance.

Yet in all of the madness I always felt loved…I had never felt so very loved!

We were learning the truth about one another and the innocence of it was so very beautiful. I was finally where I wished to be, making my own choices for once in my life.

I don't think I ever wanted to leave this little house that the world had forgotten.

Erik and I spent almost every waking moment together.

We spent our time reading or talking of anything that came into our heads - well, usually my head, I just couldn't help my curiosity. He was finally beginning to open up to me but sometimes just sitting together was like a sacred experience.

We had never known such contentment together.

We told each other the silliest things, our favourite things and even sometimes our fears; all the things that people as close as we were should know.

We seemed to be in a strange hurry to make up for all that lost time that we'd spent apart or in silence. Perhaps I thought I could further prove to Erik my love by keeping nothing from him. Well, nothing but little thoughts that I knew would only hurt him needlessly…

Curiously Erik refused to sing with me still. He would play me almost anything I wished but we were not to sing. "Not quite yet, my love, please." He would implore softly, and because I loved him so I always relented.

I knew he had his reasons, mystery as they were to me. He was battling some unknown force within himself and I would give him the time he needed.

But music had been with us at our very best and our very worst and I so wished to glory in the ecstasy it brought us. I wanted to sing of the love we now openly shared.

What I was afraid to say with words I wished to sing!

Yet for the moment I would remain silent.

Though his music, his voice played over and over in my dreams.

We were like our own little family. We needed no one but each other. I kept the house tidy and he prepared all the meals that we ate together…though I always seemed to be the only one properly eating. Thank Heavens I was not so vain that this would have bothered me. How Erik managed to keep our pantry stocked I had no idea, but in this matter I preferred to let it remain a secret.

I didn't like the idea of Erik sneaking off at night - for I knew he slept as little as he ate - to gather supplies for us. It was dangerous. It would make much more sense if he allowed me to shop for us during the day. But we were still too new together for me to broach this subject.

Erik still worried if he couldn't see me.

He tried not to show it but I was not so blind anymore that I could not see it. I always endeavoured to stay close to him when he seemed in one of those humours.

Today seemed to be one of those days.

Erik seemed almost anxious. He couldn't sit still for very long and was constantly glancing up to see where I was though I had yet to move from my place by his side.

Something was bothering him. But what? What had changed that I was unaware of?

I knew that Erik's moods could be changeable at best, but this was…different, I could tell.

Reaching across to him, I gently grasped his hand and smiled. He looked up at me and regarded me with an intensity that others, perhaps, would have found unnerving but not I…not anymore.

"Erik?" I implored softly, squeezing his elegant hand.

He knew I was asking him to confide in me his worries. We had developed the ability to say much more to each other than we actually dared.

He knew that he was not hiding his restlessness as well as he would have liked.

There was some unnamed emotion in his eyes…something that I had not seen before.

I tried to decipher what it could mean but suddenly he leaned forward and kissed me - something that he still didn't do quite as much as I would've liked - slyly stealing my abilities to reason and think.

But still I could feel his inner turmoil. Even his kiss - blissful as it was - was worried.

Pulling back from me, and allowing me to breathe, he looked at me carefully again before nuzzling at my neck. My breath caught in an embarrassingly loud gasp.

"You like it here, don't you, Christine? You are happy, my love?" He breathed into my ear. Was this the source of his unease? Was he doubting himself again? We certainly hadn't overcome all our doubts but he had no need to worry if this was the cause!

Quickly I rushed to reassure him.

"Oh, yes Erik, I am happy! So very happy! I love it here, here with you. It's our own little home. I love it so very much, my love."

I whispered as I kissed him softly. _My love. _Oh, how I loved to say those words, loved to hear him say them to me with that heavenly voice!

And I truly meant every word. I was happy. I was in love.

Yet, my words only seemed to sadden Erik somehow.

"That is what I was afraid of," he murmured almost inaudibly, as he gently broke from my embrace and stood.

With one last sad, almost weary glance, he strode from the room.

And I knew then.

I knew our perfect, untainted time here in this house, our own little piece of Heaven, was over.

But why?

_**Erik's POV**_

Leaving her there with that broken look on her face made me feel like such a wretched creature. Once more I felt that I was destroying the fragile peace she had found in her life. She was happy here, so very happy. Her eyes glowed with warmth and love in this house…and I was going to take that away from her. Why couldn't the world just leave us alone? Didn't we deserve a little peace?

Here with Christine I was as close to peace as I had ever been. I had never thought to experience such exquisite joy. Not even in death had I imagined I would find such Heaven.

Christine. My Christine. How I loved her!

It was a strange feeling really; loving her. It was so intense I felt I might die every time I looked at her, knowing she loved me too. I would destroy the world to keep her with me; I knew that for certain now. But I was not sure whether these were things that she would wish to hear and so I was still a little guarded in her presence. Only a little, for her sake…

For I wasn't sure…Did everyone feel this way when they truly loved someone? I had never been in love before I had nothing else to base my feelings on…Such all-consuming feelings! It was quite the task to keep them in check.

That was why I had not yet sung with my beloved. I could tell that my refusal troubled her somewhat but I was only thinking of her.

I do not think I would be able to hide the intensity of my feelings if I were to entwine my voice with her's. Music is in our blood, in our very souls. To combine the force of our music with the ecstasy of our love…no, I believe it would be too much too soon. Though I sing to her while she sleeps almost every night in the hopes that on some level she will understand. Oh, but I do miss the sound of her divine voice…but no, I cannot endure it just yet…Not just yet…

I am still not quite certain that Christine knows how much I am affected by all that has transpired between us. I still feel that irrational need to have her within my sights at all times lest she turn out to be nothing but a beautiful dream.

I am learning so much more everyday about my beloved and even about myself, and though I know that she loves me I am still determined to move slowly for now…I am beginning to realise that this may be more for my sake than her's, perhaps.

She is the most incredible woman. Such grace, such love and compassion!

I only hope she will forgive me for taking her away from this place.

Ah, but she called it home, oh why did she have to feel like that?! I knew how important home was to Christine…for she had never had one, not really. Moving around so often with her dear father had robbed her of that. I do believe that the Opera House was the nearest thing she had had to a home almost all her life!

I had already taken her from that home of her's and now I was planning to take her from another. Damn it, why had I lingered so long here?! I had never meant to! We were to have moved on almost immediately, but happiness had made me into somewhat of a fool for we had remained too long. And now we were being hunted. Now I was forced to take my love far from all that she had come to know and love, for I refused to stay in Paris; that glittering city of torment!

I would not miss it but I knew that she would.

I don't think it had quite occurred yet to my darling Angel how much I was making her leave behind…And I was loathe to remind her.

I had always thought that if I could just get her far from Paris we would be free…I would be free, but now I was starting to fear that she would not wish to leave behind the city she had started to feel at home in…Especially as I didn't intend to divulge all the reasons for our sudden departure.

I had always known that we would not go unmissed, well that Christine would not go unmissed. And yet when I went on my nightly excursion and received the news from my snivelling informer, I had been genuinely shocked. It was like I had almost forgotten, forgotten everything and everyone but her. This was worrying indeed for I needed to be vigilant for now.

What with three pursuers on our trail, we were popular prey indeed! The boy I had expected…but the formidable Madame Giry and my unfortunate conscience, Nadir were a little surprising. They were not in league with that insolent boy, or so I was told, so why were they so desperate to find me? They could have helped the young whelp, Raoul and washed their hands of me.

Their presence in this little game troubled me. What did they want?

Perhaps, I would never know for I certainly didn't intend to wait around long enough to find out for myself. They would all find this place eventually and I couldn't have that. Perhaps I would leave a dramatic message for them all, leave only an empty clearing for them to find. I would make the house disappear perhaps…

But what would my Christine think? What would she say if she knew?

I was afraid to find out. Why was I still so damn afraid?

I knew I would have to tell her…but I still had not decided when that time would be. I was beginning to get all too comfortable with the idea of telling her after I had spirited her away. But, no, I should tell her before that and I would…wouldn't I?

These were thoughts for another night. I am not sure that I would survive them long tonight, with the image of Christine's worried face still burning in my mind.

I was going to disappoint her again. I hope that it will be for the last time…

Perhaps I can make it up to her by taking us away to build a home somewhere that she would love…somewhere that no one will find us…

But where? It seems that I had been excessively lax in my duties and now had some intense planning to do. I was confident that I could do it…but it was the cost that haunted me…and I was not referring to monetary expense…

Christine and I were just learning to trust one another; we were just now learning to truly _know _one another. What would she think of me when she realised that I was making us run away without allowing her the opportunity to say goodbye?

Hmm, perhaps I should rethink my plans…I would never let the boy near her, but surely I could allow Madame Giry to say goodbye, once I knew that she was no threat to us…perhaps…and then again perhaps not…

Yes, it would seem that I had a lot to do, a lot to think about…well there's no rest for the wicked, I suppose.

Oh, my dear Christine!

Perhaps it _was _time that I sang to her and showed her just how _very _much I loved her!

I did not do any of this to hurt her! I was just…afraid…yes, afraid of losing her and the only love I'd ever known…

So, help me the infamous Phantom was deathly afraid for the first time in a very long time…For now he had something to lose.

But Erik will not lose Christine…he would never lose her!

Erik will make her happy in their new home…

Erik _will_…He will…_I _will…

_**And so, the question had become, where would we go from here? **_

_**To where would I run with this man whom I loved too much to say and yet was only beginning to know? And what exactly were we running from? What wasn't he telling me?**_

_**Didn't he trust in me? In our love?**_

_**Oh, Erik…**_

**- Extract From Christine's Diary**

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**So, there it is. Hope you all liked it and that it eased the need for E/C interaction just a little bit. (",)**

**Don't forget to let me know what ya think!**

**x Restless And Tempted x**


	14. Time Heals All Wounds

_**A/N:**_ **I know it's been terribly long and I ask that you all forgive me. As I've said before life is crazy this year but fear not the show will go on. I haven't abandoned this story as you can see, in fact I spent as much time as I could today finishing up this chapter so I could get it posted for you all A.S.A.P. (I apologise for any mistakes that may have occured as a result). So do you forgive me? (",)**

**As always thank you, thank you, thank you for all your reviews, they really motivate me to write!**

**This chapter is pretty angsty but I felt it had to be, because the course of true love is never smooth especially amongst such troubled souls! ;-)**

**It begins in Christine's POV and ends in Erik's.**

**Hope ya all enjoy it!**

**Don't forget to let me know what ya think afterwards. (",)**

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_**Chapter 14**_

_**Time Heals All Wounds…?**_

_**There is only so much one person can do…only so much I could do to show Erik that he could trust me…that I wasn't going anyway. **_

_**In the end it had to be his choice whether he believed me or not.**_

_**There had to be forgiveness, there had to be trust.**_

_**I had told Erik I loved him but he needed more than that…**_

**- Extract from Christine's Diary**

I didn't see Erik for almost two days after that.

Such a trivial time-span I know but it was the longest I had gone without seeing him since I had told him I loved him.

I tried not to let it bother me but it was an impossible task.

I didn't know where he was. I had searched and searched but couldn't find him.

Had he left the house? I wasn't sure, for just because you cannot see Erik in a room does not mean that he is not there.

After hours of searching, I took refuge in the music room as though it would somehow bring me closer to my love.

I barely ate, only nibbling on bits of bread and cheese like some sort of timid mouse, for the thought of food was not appealing to me. I had quickly grown accustomed to dining with Erik. Besides, he cooked all our meals and I really did not think Erik would like it very much if I burned down our house trying to put together lunch.

I couldn't help the few tears that escaped my tired eyes. I so hated being by myself for too long. It brought back too many lonely memories, too many childish fears.

I knew Erik had not left me for good…I knew that, but without Erik, I was alone…and I didn't know why, not for certain at least.

Though after hours of having nothing to do but think I had my suspicions.

Surely there was only one thing that would make my Angel pull away from me.

I had warned Erik at the Opera House that I would be missed, oh, how it seemed like a lifetime ago! But I had quite forgotten how true my words could be.

In my loving joy, I had forgotten the boy that I had left behind. My brave but misguided knight. If he had not allowed my scarf to be lost to the sea, how had I thought that he would allow _me _to be lost to _him_?

And as much as it grieved me to think that Erik and I were being pursued, that our peace was being intruded upon, I found I could not blame Raoul. How could I?

In my heart I knew that this was my fault. The last time Raoul and I spoke, I had said terrible, cruel things about my Erik. Raoul did not know my heart had not been in those hurtful words. Raoul thought I loved him most. How could I blame him for trying to find me? He thought he was saving me, not tearing me apart.

I couldn't help the guilt I felt. Perhaps I deserved to be alone.

I had never wanted to hurt either Erik or Raoul, but it seemed to be my destiny to hurt them again and again. I could only imagine the thoughts running through Erik's head. He was not yet secure enough in our love, neither of us were.

And so, I tried to banish the other thought that fluttered relentlessly through my mind. The thought that the only way to resolve this was to speak to my dear old playmate. I had left without a word of warning or explanation, and though the thought of breaking his heart did not sit well with me, Raoul deserved the truth at least. We had once been so close and he had been so good to me. If I could just talk to him…

But how? Erik could not even bear to mention him to me; the likelihood of him allowing us to be alone together to talk was laughable! Oh, where was Erik? If he would just discuss this with me, if he would just tell me what troubled him so we could face it together…if he would only trust me, forgive me…

Would we survive this?

Oh, what was I thinking?! My thoughts were dark indeed. I needed Erik! He should have known to never leave me so alone for so long! I could not bear it!

After Papa died I had been alone for so long even when I was surrounded by people.

Erik knew this, he knew I hated being so alone! Why was he being so cruel?

I loved him! I had left everything for him! What more could I give him when he already had my soul?

It was nightfall on the second day when he returned to me.

_**Erik's POV**_

I had not meant to leave her for that long but time was not on my side, and secretly I dreaded having to tell her what I had planned for us.

It was all arranged. I had worked fast but meticulously. There would be no returning to this little house, there would be nothing to return to…

She was sitting in the music room. She looked so lost, so young.

My heart ached.

How much could love endure before it couldn't bear anymore?

I didn't know. Love was too new to me.

Had she already had enough?

What would I do without her?

I should not have left her alone…my precious Christine feared that more than almost anything else.

Why hadn't I confided in her? We were meant to talk of decisions such as these together and yet I knew that I hadn't done that, that I wasn't going to…

Maybe someday, someday when we were far from a certain titled young man trying to steal her from me…someday when I trusted her enough not to be lured by him…

Oh, I felt such a scoundrel. I loved her but I didn't trust her, not with this. I was only just learning to trust her, for Erik didn't trust anyone as a rule.

"Christine…" I tried to keep my voice even but it shook.

I shook when she looked at me with those haunted eyes.

Oh, we had been so happy just a short time ago.

Now there was mistrust between us again. Erik only hoped that he could make his Christine happy again. He tried so hard…

"It was really quite cruel of you to leave like that."

She regarded me with all the grand, regal bearing of a little Empress, and I longed to fall at my knees before her. But I had to be strong for now. She had to see that I was only doing what was best for us…

But looking into her eyes I wondered was it only best for me…

"I am about to be crueller." I whispered wretchedly.

She trembled in the grips of some strong emotion but she did not yet weep as I had thought she would. For this I was only somewhat glad, for her lonely stare was somehow a worse torture.

Erik had to tell her now or he never would. And he did not think his Christine would like very much if he spirited her away while she slept.

Though that plan did have some appeal…

"We are leaving. Erik lingered too long and he is paying for that mistake."

"When?" She whispered.

She would not look at me.

She would not look at Erik.

"In two days time…"

There was silence while I waited for the question that I knew must come but that she hesitated to ask.

"Why?" She sobbed. And finally the tears came.

I approached her but hesitated to touch her. Why should she welcome Erik's touch, he only hurt her. So I was surprised when she reached for me and pulled me to her.

So surprised that I could not help but cry with her. I was such a weak fool.

Finally, when I could speak, I knelt before her and began my explanation. My carefully worded explanation.

"We are being chased, my dear. People always chase Erik, you know but they never catch him. People do not like that you are here with me, and so I am afraid that we must leave. The authorities have not been involved yet but one can never be too careful. So we shall disappear, my love. Erik and his Christine will start again. A new beginning. We will go to Italy, would you like that Christine? Erik chose Italy to make you happy. You have always wanted to live there, Erik remembers. He remembers everything, he…"

I was stopped by a dainty hand upon my arm. She had stopped looking at me again.

"Who is chasing us, Erik?"

My body tensed and pulled away from her. She clutched me more fiercely but I shrugged her off. I rejected her touch though I craved it desperately.

For it hurt. No one hurt me like Christine…no one but myself…

"Who, Erik? You have to tell me who!"

"Madame Giry and an old acquaintance of mine, the honourable Daroga, my dear. We did not say goodbye you see and they are very angry about that! Why, who else would it be?" I sneered.

I was suddenly terribly angry with my little Angel. If she hadn't run to that damned boy, things could have been different. If she hadn't run to him perhaps Erik wouldn't be so afraid that she would run back!

"Do not lie to me Erik! Tell me!"

"RAOUL!" I roared.

I had not wanted to tell her this. I had resolved not to, but my anger got the best of me as usual.

She gasped in shock. I so rarely said that name and surely it did not help that I had bellowed it so forcefully.

Upon seeing her shocked little face all my anger fled and I hung my head in misery.

We stayed like that for quite some time. Distant. Silent.

When she crawled towards me, I flinched expecting her anger.

Instead she held me again. Would I ever really understand this woman?

"You should have told me sooner." She whispered.

"Why, so you coul…" She covered my mouth with her hand before I could finish my cruel response and I was grateful, for I did not wish to hurt her.

But I had been treated like an animal for so long that sometimes I could not help but act like one. Wounded animals lash out, you know. Old habits…

I kissed her palm softly as a weak attempt at an apology.

She seemed to understand, or at least she was trying to…

"We cannot keep running, Erik…"

"I know and we won't, I promise. There is a house waiting for us in Italy. We will not run from there. It will be our home. Erik will give Christine a home this time, he promises."

She smiled at me but there was something missing. Something was on her mind. Something that I would not like, no doubt. But I resolved to keep my temper in check, for she did not truly deserve a life such as this. She deserved more…

"Must…Will we…will we be leaving without saying goodbye again…"

I wasn't sure exactly what she meant. I wasn't sure I wanted to for I had my suspicions.

I should have discussed it with her. We should have calmly discussed things. If I were an ordinary man perhaps we would have. But I was too much the coward for that today and so I altered my plans quickly.

"Ah yes, of course you wish to say goodbye to the good Madame Giry. Yes, perhaps that would be good. I shall invite her and the Daroga to dinner shall I? Then they can see that you are here willingly…That…That you are h-happy with me…" I nearly choked on my words. "Oh, say you are happy with me, Christine…"

"Oh, Erik, of course I am!" She replied and clutched me tighter. The tears in her eyes seemed to contradict her words though she struggled to hold them at bay.

She smiled at me as best she could; oh she loved me very much!

My dear precious Christine!

I will make it all up to her in Italy, Erik swears he will!

"Then Erik will bring Madame Giry to you, Christine. They will see that I love you very much….so much…Then we will leave, we will begin again…that is what we will do, yes?"

She nodded her head vigorously. She seemed so eager to comfort me.

She was so good really, so good.

Perhaps that is why I said what I said next…Quickly before I lost my nerve.

"Or…or is there something else that Christine would like to do before we leave, leave and never return?"

There.

I gave her the choice.

She could ask to see the boy if she wished. She could ask and though it would destroy me I would let her. I would reunite her and that boy, I would watch him try to woo her away from me with his noble words…and then perhaps she would turn him away and come back to me…or she would leave, and I would die.

Either way I had given her the choice and that was something.

That was almost trust. Almost.

I braced myself for her eager request…but it never came.

For a few agonising seconds she seemed to battle with herself, then she raised her eyes to mine and smiled tremulously.

Reaching up to me she stroked my cheek reverently and brushed her heavenly lips against mine briefly. Oh, so briefly.

"No, Erik, that is fine. I-I would like nothing else…"

I should not have been so elated. I should have told her that she could speak to her young Raoul. But I was not that good yet…

Tentatively, I pulled her closer and kissed her eyelids reverently.

"I love you, Erik." She whispered, so earnestly.

"And I love you, my Christine." I murmured, pretending not to notice those traitorous tears of hers slide down her cheeks before she could stop them.

I had not the right to comfort her for now, so I merely held her.

Oh yes, I loved her dearly and she loved me, I knew.

But, when was love enough?

We needed more…

I needed more…

Love, trust, forgiveness…time…

I needed time…

Rome wasn't built in a day after all, but Erik could be broken in a second…

I needed time.

And Christine, she needed…she deserved…better…

I only hoped I would eventually be what she deserved.

I only hoped she had enough time to give me…

Italy would be my last chance.

_**I could not ask him to let me speak to Raoul. I was too frightened to try to reason with him when he was so broken. Perhaps I should have…but to my shame I didn't. Guilt kept me silent.**_

_**I could not ask him to let me in…He had to do that himself.**_

_**All I could give him was time, and pray that that was enough…**_

_**That love and time was enough.**_

_**Time heals all wounds…doesn't it?**_

**- Extract from Christine's Diary**

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**And there ya have it. Hope you liked it.**

**Oh, and don't despair, I'm sure our poor tortured couple will get there...eventually... ;-)**

**Anywho, don't forget to review and let me know your thoughts on it.**

**x Restless And Tempted x**


	15. An Invitation From The Ghost

_**A/N:**_** It has been quite a while I know, and I do apologise but the story lives on because here I am with an update! Perhaps not my best but I really wanted to get this update out to you guys so I hope you can enjoy it anyway. (",)**

**This is all in Madame Giry's POV as she receives a startling invite.**

**As always thank you to those who reviewed, it is wonderful to hear from you!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter and please don't forget to review!**

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_**Chapter 15**_

_**An Invitation From The Ghost**_

During the years that I knew him when Erik did not wish to speak to me I could never seem to find him.

I was always one step behind.

It was only when I _stopped _looking, (and only when _he _felt so inclined), that I would find him. Often he would be waiting in my room…And his eyes would always seem so smug…

It was the memory of those triumphant eyes that plagued me as I collapsed, rather ungracefully, into my chair by the fireplace. It almost felt as though Erik was taunting us, though I knew that that was not true…Erik was most likely much too preoccupied with Christine to play such games…Most likely…

Oh, I desperately needed to see him…to see them both!

Nadir, useful man that he can sometimes be, stoked the fire expertly.

I could tell by the set of his shoulders that he was as exhausted as I myself was.

It had been a…trying…couple of weeks to say the least.

For a man who shunned the world Erik certainly had enough property in it!

Each time we approached another house from the list and saw the saw obvious signs that it was empty, our hearts became heavier.

Houses with dark windows. They weren't homes. They were cold. Unused. Dead.

At each one I could almost see Erik's shadow slip away, leading us in a lonely chase from house to house.

Each trip ended in disappointment for Erik did not yet wish to be found…

And we were weary of searching.

I am not sure what exactly we had planned to do should we stumble upon Erik's hiding place. Did we knock upon the door as though we were proper guests? Or barge in as though we had come to make some sort of arrest?

Would we even get that far? Who has ever crept up upon the infamous Opera Ghost without him knowing?

…Only a lost little girl with a broken voice who crept into his heart…

Oh, where were my poor children?

Nadir sat in the chair across from me but his gaze remained fixed on the flickering flames in the fireplace. He almost looked calm sitting there; like he belonged. But he had learned some of the art of pretence from Erik, and from Erik I had learned to see through it.

"How long can we continue this?" He said, almost conversationally.

"I do not know, Monsieur." I whispered coldly.

Instantly I felt ashamed.

Monsieur Khan did not deserve such a tone.

He had been my silent support through these increasingly bleak days. I did not need words of false comfort and Nadir knew this. We were alike in that way.

I reached across and touched his hand apologetically. He returned the gesture in acceptance of my remorse and continued to hold my hand as we both became lost gazing into the fire.

I closed my eyes and was instantly immersed in thoughts that only spun in endless circles, like a ballerina…

I could nearly see that little ballerina pirouetting in my mind. She had wild, dark curls and the darkness around her almost seemed too close…embracing her…

Quickly I opened my eyes again to dispel the image but it lingered…

Nadir and I had started this little journey so full of fire and determination, and it angered me to see that we were wavering in our intent. But I knew that we could not go on as we had been. I would be needed again here at the Opera shortly, as the dances for the new season needed to be rehearsed, and this would severely lessen the amount of time I could search for Erik and Christine.

I would neglect these official duties gladly but my daughter and I need to eat, we could not survive on my Meg's salary alone.

Life outside this strange world of ours was intruding most inelegantly!

So what were we to do?

It was a chill wind that swept through the streets of Paris this evening and the cold was settling itself in my heart.

I shuddered.

I almost felt that the room had become much colder.

I almost felt as though Nadir and I were no longer alone…

"We must rethink our plans Nadir. We are taking much too long to…achieve our aim." I whispered, suddenly wary that the walls were somehow listening…or harbouring someone who was…

"But first, I believe I must change. The streets were excessively dirty today. I am almost glad we did not find them in that run-down little place or my reprimands would have been stern indeed, I assure you!"

My weak attempt at levity was very poor indeed but between weary companions it was welcomed quite warmly.

"Ah, my dear Madame, can anyone meet with your frightfully high standards?"

"Few indeed!"

With a slight smile I left Nadir and entered my bedroom, closing the door and locking it securely - though I am not sure why, I could hardly imagine Nadir intruding upon me while I changed.

Leaning against the door's cool surface, I closed my eyes and sighed. I was not prone to bouts of melancholy, not often at least.

But time was slipping away and I still was not sure just how high the stakes were.

How happy were our runaways making each other…or how miserable?

"Really Madame, all this because we did not say goodbye?"

That voice! My tired eyes snapped open immediately.

That magnificent and unforgettable voice! It could only be…

"Erik!"

And there he was. Impeccably dressed with his mask resolutely in place; it was as though he had never left…Seated casually at my dressing table, he kept his back to the mirror.

But his eyes did not glow with the triumph that I had earlier recalled in my memories.

No, his eyes held something else now. Something which he did not allow me to examine closely for he stood up sharply and his eyes became as masked as his face.

Silence settled between us, heavy with too many emotions to count.

Here he was. The man I had been desperately searching for was before me and I had not the faintest idea what to say. Oddly enough I almost felt like weeping.

I waited anxiously for him to speak but he had become like a statue, eerily still and silent. I almost feared that he was no longer breathing.

The tension became too unbearable and I clamoured for something to say.

It is unwise to be so careless when speaking to Erik.

The first thing I thought to say was the last thing I should have voiced so harshly.

"Where are you keeping her, Erik?"

My voice was hardened as a result of my foolish nerves. Erik was far from pleased.

"_Keeping _her?! So you are of the boy's opinion then, that I have stolen her forcefully! That she is locked away somewhere! Is it not possible that she chose to leave with me?!"

There was a wildness in his eyes now but I was not frightened for there was such pain in his beautiful voice that all I could feel was shame.

"Erik…" Suddenly I was interrupted by a frantic pounding on my door.

"Madame! Madame! What is going on in there? Are you alright?"

Nadir's worried voice seemed to only increase Erik's agitation.

"Ah! It seems you have found your own white knight. How touching that conspiring against me has brought you all together so perfectly!"

His words were vicious and yet I almost felt as though his heart was not in them. There was something more hiding beneath this anger…But what?

Why was he here?

"Monsieur Khan, do be quiet! And stay where you are!"

Instantly there was silence from beyond the door, though I had no doubt that Nadir was listening intently.

Selfishly, I wanted to handle this myself.

"Erik, be seated," I said almost pleadingly, "Please…"

With that one word the fight seemed to drain from him.

He blinked as though he were only just coming back to himself and sat down obediently.

I had expected him to continue to lash out like a wounded animal.

It seemed Erik had changed. I had no doubt love had made it possible…Christine was a powerful woman indeed it seemed.

"Erik…I did not say that I believed you took Christine by force. Neither of us truly believes that. But you must understand that we do not know what to believe! Without a word you were both suddenly gone and we had to make sure that you were both well…That is all…"

My explanation was worded as carefully as I could. But still Erik will often find insults where there are none…

"Concerned for Erik? How thoughtful! And what lies! You are both just like him! You think she could never love this monster. Well she does! And you cannot take her from me…"

Despite the intensity of his words, he kept his voice almost gentle.

"Erik, it is not a lie! You may not believe me but we were concerned for both of you. We only wish to see you both…If Christine loves you we would never take her from you. I always saw how important you were to one another…Always!"

He lapsed into a strange silence.

Though his eyes remained guarded, he seemed to almost relax…just a little…He seemed almost grateful for my words.

This new Erik was certainly a shock to me. I had expected such fierce resistance to my words but Erik seemed almost desperate to believe them.

"You should have left us alone…or at least been more careful. Really Madame, have I taught you nothing?"

I was unsure whether he was teasing or not. I could never keep up with Erik's ever-changing moods. Not everything had changed.

"I am not pleased by your pursuit…but Erik understands. Christine is too precious to let go. Erik understands this."

It frustrated me that he believed it was only Christine that mattered. Could he not see how important he was to Nadir and I? How important he had always been?!

"We wanted to see you _both_. It is _good _to see you." I stressed as clearly as I dared.

But I was not sure whether Erik really understood. He missed so much.

It was heartbreaking.

For a time we regarded each other silently again. The room felt much less tense but I was under no illusions. Emotions were still as taut as could be.

Yet, it almost seemed as though neither of us wished to confront one another. I was secretly so glad to see him and Erik…perhaps it was wishful thinking to believe that he was that glad to see me but…I hoped in some way he was.

How could I reach this impossible genius? How could I explain things that I barely had words for?

He could not see the love I felt for him, a love different to the kind he had for Christine. He knew so little of love, how multi-faceted it could be.

He had never felt a mother's love.

He did not understand it.

And so we sat in silence.

Presently he spoke.

"Christine," Her name was uttered with such reverence, "She wishes to see you. That is why I am here. There is so little I can deny her…So little…You are both to dine with us tonight. I shall escort you."

I was stunned, and I am not easily stunned, but I was also dreadfully glad.

"We are to come to your new home?"

"Yes, so you may give up your ridiculous little search. Though…very soon it will be our home no longer."

The sadness in his voice…the manner in which he lingered on the word home…

What damage had we caused with all our good intentions?

What awaited us tonight?

How happy were they together really…

"We were so happy and now…" He sighed, almost as though he had read my thoughts (as I had once thought him capable).

"Erik," I entreated, "Nadir and I do not wish to-to rob you of this happiness…We only wish to ensure that you are _both _indeed happy. Then you may be as you were."

"But we cannot _be _as we _were, _my dear Madame. Do you not see! Though it may have been unintentional you have all but led that foolish boy to us, and he will _never _understand! It is tainted now…it is…" He trailed off, clenching his hands in his cloak, unable or unwilling to finish his sentence; a habit I so sorely disliked.

Raoul! Of course, I should have known that that young man would never give up so easily…and Erik said that somehow we had helped him?…Most likely he had followed us. God, how foolish we had been! We had never meant to be the cause of further pain for Erik…we had only wanted to help…

Abruptly, Erik stood. I could see the effort it took for him to contain his raw emotions.

My heart ached.

I wished I could soothe him but Erik was always a difficult man to comfort.

If what he said was true, and Christine and he were happily together than surely this could not ruin that…but the mention of Raoul was disconcerting to say the least, for Erik had unknowingly made that young man the embodiment of all his insecurities, especially when it came to Christine. He could not see it, but I could.

Things would never be so easy for Erik and his love, I had always known that.

And who was to say how this would end? How could any of us say for sure what events our actions had helped put in place?

"Come," Erik said in a tone so soft that it startled me, "You shall see for yourself that Christine has chosen me. You shall visit us as invited guests as opposed to…whatever it was you planning on being. The great Madame Giry an intruder in the Ghost's home…how absurd!"

He almost smiled at that and I was relived to see that he had not lost his wry sense of humour. The world had not yet robbed him of that.

"And then we are leaving, Christine and I," He proclaimed authoritatively, "And we are not to be followed! We will be perfectly happy again! We will…"

I wondered which of us he was truly trying to convince.

"Of course, Erik."

I tried to smile in encouragement but my heart felt burdened by the doubts I wished I did not have. Would these two souls ever be happy?

I had thought that in many ways they needed each other but was I to be proven wrong this night? Would Nadir and I have to hurt our dear boy very much and take the only woman he had ever loved from him?

I had not told Erik that I would do exactly that should it be required of me.

I would break his heart but only because I cared for them both…

What a twisted affair this was!

I prayed that the night would not end as I feared it might. I prayed…

"Come," Erik repeated in a much more even voice, though he did not look at me

"We must depart immediately. I am afraid you will have no time to change."

He bowed almost apologetically to me.

It seemed, little by little, he was regaining control over himself. I wondered was it the thought of Christine waiting for him, wherever she was, that helped calm him so.

I hoped it was.

But as he unlocked the door and strode from the room, acknowledging a startled Nadir with a curt nod of his head, I imagined I could feel the turmoil he was in…

Though I am sure that I will never truly know the turmoil Erik has faced…

Guilt weighed heavily on my tired soul as I gathered a warm shawl and made to follow Christine's Angel…to Heaven or to Hell...

Nadir offered his arm to me as I passed and gratefully I took it.

We exchanged a glance that said more than we ever could.

For we knew…We knew…

It seemed that by trying to help we had perhaps ruined the one happiness Erik had ever had in his tortured life.

I only hoped we could all redeem ourselves somehow.

But we had hurt him…We had hurt him very much…

And now we were off to dinner with him…

Surely this was to be the strangest night of my life.

But what else can one expect when one accepts an invitation from a Ghost…

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**And there ya have it ladies and gentlmen! Hope ya liked it. **

**Next chapter will be the "Dinner".**

**Please review and let me know what your thoughts are, it's always a joy!**

**x Restless And Tempted x**


	16. A Visit With The Ghost & His Lady 1

_**A/N:**_**My delay in updating is truly appalling I know and I am so ver sorry but it was, unfortunately, unavoidable. All I can say is if it is taking me a while to update don't worry, the story is not abandoned! If you have any such worries or questions feel free to PM me.**

**So thank you, thank you, thank you to all you wonderful reviewers and faithful readers. (",)**

**I had to spilt this chapter in two because it was getting very long and I wanted to get an update out to you all a.s.a.p. Part 2 will be along as quickly as I can type.**

**This starts in Christine's POV and ends in Erik's.**

**Now enough of my rambling, on with the story (finally!)**

**Enjoy and don't forget to review please. (",)**

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_**Chapter 16**_

_**A Visit With The Ghost & His Lady (Part 1)**_

_**Madame Giry and Monsieur Khan came under the pretext of saying goodbye but really it was also an interrogation.**_

_**It seemed that away from the Opera House we were forced more than ever to explain our love.**_

_**Why did we always have to explain ourselves and convince others that we were where we were meant to be? **_

**- Extract from Christine's Diary**

He had said he would be back by now.

I was worried.

Erik had left almost immediately after we'd decided to invite Madame Giry and Monsieur Khan to our home. He left with barely a goodbye; consumed with the need to get this all over and done with, no doubt.

My mind seemed to be purposefully trying to drive me mad as I envisioned dozens of different ways in which Erik could have encountered trouble in Paris.

Why had I allowed him to leave me again?

Things had just become so complicated again so suddenly…

I had almost welcomed the reprieve from the situation's intensity that I had thought his temporary absence would bring, but I had found no respite. Had I not learned by now that things were often worse when Erik was not around? My heart ached; my mind became increasingly restless…

And I worried…near constantly…

Sighing in frustration, I desperately tried to find something to distract myself with.

I drifted through the house like a wraith for quite some time.

I had contemplated trying to make a start on dinner but my culinary skills were rather drastically lacking, and I assumed our guests would prefer their meal to be edible.

So, alas, the preparation of dinner would have to wait for Erik's return.

I hoped no one was too hungry. I hoped Erik had not expected me to cook.

I searched my addled mind for something to do.

Nothing was in need of darning and, though I tried, I could not relax enough to enjoy a good book.

Singing, sadly, was also out of the question.

While a favoured outlet of mine, I feared it would make me long for Erik's return all the more.

Finally, I decided I would try some ballet warm-ups and such. In honour of Madame Giry's impending arrival I suppose.

Vigorously I threw myself into the dance, trying to lose myself in the familiar patterns of my old rehearsals.

This, of course, turned out to be not my finest idea.

A word of advice, one should not attempt the graceful art of ballet when one is fully clothed in the rather bulky, restrictive under and outer garments that a proper lady is required to wear. It will most likely end badly.

This was my exact thought as my various layers twisted round my legs in quite the knot and I felt myself tilt precariously towards the ground; all notions of grace and balance lost in an instant.

I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself for the sharp impact that would conclude my clumsy fall…

But it never came.

Instead I felt myself swept up gracefully into undoubtedly strong arms.

Opening my eyes I gasped as I was met by a dearly familiar gaze.

"Erik!"

I had not heard him return and yet here he was, holding me tightly to him…saving me from falling…

He had not been gone very long really, I suppose, and yet I realised with a pang that I had missed him so very much.

"What were you doing, my love?" He still seemed so tense but his voice was so soft…so beautiful. However, embarrassment inhibited my ability to enjoy its beauty.

"I…well…I was trying to dance and I…"

I blushed as he lowered me carefully to my feet and tried to cover my humiliation with indignation.

"You were late!" I admonished almost sternly, planting my hands on my hips.

I sounded very much like a scolding wife and the realisation had me blushing again.

It also made me wonder - When would I truly be Erik's wife?

However my mind was stolen away from its musings by Erik's gentle laugh. Such a beautiful sound! My mind reeled and my heart swelled for him. He only added to the sudden intensity of emotion that he had wrought in me by uttering my name in a tone of quiet ardour. Erik's voice was capable of so much more than other mortal voices…So much more…

"Christine."

Saying my name seemed to drain him of some of his tension and he regarded me adoringly. I smiled and moved to embrace him tightly. It was so good to have him home again.

He held me to him for a brief moment.

I would have kissed him then with all the relief I felt but he restrained me gently.

"Company, my dear," He whispered gravely, though his gaze was somewhat amused.

Coming back to my senses somewhat, I whirled around swiftly, almost losing my balance again and causing Erik to lay a steadying hand on my shoulders.

Instantly I saw that Erik had, of course, not come home alone.

Our guests had arrived.

Madame Giry and Monsieur Khan stood somewhat uncertainly in the doorway, half in the room and half out of it. They were looking at Erik and I with a sort of strange fascination. Madame Giry's expression was a little more guarded than Nadir's though, I noticed. I did not like this. I did not like feeling as though I were being examined.

Straightening up with all the dignity I could muster, I tried to adopt the stance of a proud hostess. I was the lady of this house, (though, strictly speaking, this would not be so for much longer), and therefore I had no right to be intimidated.

I had practically lived with Madame Giry and her daughter; she was almost like a mother to me. And Monsieur Khan had known Erik for a very long time, they had been sorely needed, (yet somewhat guarded), friends to one another for so many years.

We were not each others' enemies here. They would see that I had made my choice to be with Erik and that I was content with it. We would be civilised and perhaps we could enjoy this night.

There was no need to draw battle lines.

Yet, secretly, I think I prepared myself for war.

Gliding towards them, I tried to conceal how nervous I truly was.

"Welcome," I greeted them formally, too uncertain to show them too much warmth or familiarity, "I hope your journey was pleasant."

I paused, hoping that someone would respond. As the silence began to become noticeable I began to babble.

"I had hoped to have our meal ready in time for your arrival but I fear I am not very proficient at such things. I'm afraid we shall have to wait just a little longer to eat as well…obviously nothing is prepared...and I…Oh, I do hope you are not terribly hungry!"

I felt like such a terrible hostess. I could not even provide a meal for our guests!

Luckily Erik was ready to step in and save me from my shame.

He gently placed his hand upon my elbow to soothe me. I almost laughed then to see both our guests' eyes follow the familiar gesture with rapt interest.

"Christine, it is of no great significance. I shall prepare the meal. It will not take too long. Do not worry so."

His soft, intimate tone brought a smile to my face instantly.

"I am glad you are home." I could not help but whisper to him in response.

I think we lost ourselves for a moment then in each other gazes, content to be silent and still…Until Madame Giry's stern voice cut through the delicate moment with all the severity she was renowned for.

"Yes, that sounds agreeable indeed Monsieur. You and Monsieur Khan may converse together in the kitchen while you cook. Mademoiselle Daae and myself shall retire to the parlour and wait. A pleasant sort of role reversal, non?"

Instantly I was worried. I did not wish to leave Erik's side. I did not wish to face the interrogation that would no doubt ensue once we were parted. How would I deal with it? How would Erik? It would be better if we remained and faced it together. There would be no need for suspicion or doubt then, we would stand together as a couple and defend our choice.

But one look at Madame Giry's stern face made me realise that there would be no arguing with her choice. We had spirited her away into the woods and she intended to get the answers she sought. I suddenly felt as though we were the ones out of our element here, not she.

Erik seemed to have come to this realisation also and I could see the worry in his eyes as he looked at me.

"Come old friend," Monsieur Khan said gently, "We best not keep our women waiting too long for sustenance."

To my surprise Erik did not argue. He began to make his way toward the kitchen with Nadir in tow. But the look he gave me before he left caused a lump to form in my throat. His eyes seemed haunted by past memories. They seemed to whisper _goodbye_…

Did he still think I would leave him? Would he always doubt that I would remain?

What kind of life would we lead then?

I was torn from my reverie by a firm hand on my arm.

"Come child, we have much to discuss."

Bolstering my courage inside, I showed Madame to our parlour and prepared for whatever the next few hours would bring.

_**Erik's POV**_

This would not be pleasant.

Why had I brought these noisy intruders into our home? They had separated us already and now they would surely work on gaining a separation of a more permanent nature.

I had been so confident before, so content that I finally had the love that I sought, but my joy had been brief and far too delicate.

Christine's promises of love and loyalty were whispering through my thoughts but my fear, my insecurity was louder. It shouted straight at my soul and I had to struggle to stop the violent trembling I could feel building within me.

When I reached the kitchen I did not stop to face Nadir, in truth I had almost forgotten he was there. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts of what was occurring in the parlour between the brutally honest Madame Giry and my beloved Christine.

So I immediately set to work preparing dinner as the tension in the air around me mounted. If I could get this meal prepared quickly there would be no time for Christine's mind to be poisoned against me. No time for her eyes to be opened to what little I could offer her…

"Stop it! Stop it!" I whispered to myself, clutching my head between my shaking hands.

Dimly I felt a hand come to rest upon my shoulder.

"Erik, why are so worried?" Nadir's tone was that of both comfort and curiosity, "What have you to fear, old friend? What have you to hide?" He whispered hesitantly.

I took this as an accusation.

I most have been frightening indeed when I turned to face him for it took much to make Nadir flinch away from me as he did.

"Why do you assume that I am hiding something, _old friend_?" I hissed coldly, "Is it not conceivable that I could be loved for myself, hmm? Am I that undeserving?

Have I hidden Christine from you? No, I have not! Instead I have brought you to my home as a guest and what do I receive in return? Accusations! Perhaps I should uninvite you!"

I did not raise my voice as the anger and pain raged within me. I did not have to.

It is amazing the effect that quiet rage can have on people. It is far more unpredictable.

I expected Nadir to leave then as he had paled considerably but it seemed that I underestimated him. He stood his ground and I was considerably impressed.

"I know that you love her, Erik…and…I believe that I can see that she loves you too…" This I did not expect.

"But you thought about hiding her…didn't you? Spiriting her away in the middle of the night, no goodbyes, no explanations, and a secret house in the woods? You did not want to be found Erik; you were only forced to change your plans because we refused to let you go. That's right isn't it?"

I had forgotten how shrewd the honourable Daroga was, and how brave.

He dared to challenge me and for that I should have been very very angry. But I was a man who was changing and so instead his words made me feel so very guilty.

"You are right, Daroga, I had not wished to be found. I saw her, you see, I saw Christine with that boy and I do believe it brought me to a true state of madness. I planned to steal her away…"

I did not know why I was telling him all this. I think perhaps a part of me longed to explain.

I wanted these people, (who were the closest thing I had to friends), I wanted them to see that I was not a monster. I wanted them to see that things were changing. I was no longer O.G., no longer Angel. I was simply Erik and, for once, Erik had not done anything terribly wrong.

"But she consented to come with me! You must believe me Nadir! She looked me in the eyes, she saw my soul and she said that she loved me. Erik! Even with all my horrors that beautiful girl says she loves me! She has chosen to stay though I have offered her freedom! So you cannot take her away! She is mine! But more than that I…I am her's!"

When I had finished my tirade, I was breathing hard and there was a slight pain across my chest…and Nadir was looking at me in the strangest manner.

It was almost like a mix of pity and pride.

"I believe that is the most honest you have ever been with me, my dear friend. To admit all that...and to admit that she possesses you so completely. It is most refreshing. And so it seems I find myself able to forgive you the mistakes you made in handling this situation, particularly after such sincerity."

I did not know what to say…Nadir believed me? I had thought it would be harder to convince him. I thought my tendency to allow my emotions to get the better of me would make it difficult to show that I was trying desperately to better myself for her. Everything for her.

"I would not take her from you against her will, Erik. I would not dream of separating you from the extraordinary young woman who, I believe, has finally taught you to love."

I was rarely shocked and yet there I stood thoroughly and utterly shocked.

I was not used to acceptance and yet it was shining in Nadir's eyes.

I was almost embarrassed. I felt like a shy little boy receiving praise from his Father.

I felt…I hardly know what I felt…I had never really been told I was good as a child so I did not know what to do. I was overwhelmed. And much as this moment meant to me, I did not like being overwhelmed.

All I could think about was seeing Christine. Everything would make sense if I was with her. I would find peace in her eyes.

Vaguely I wondered when was it that I had become so dependent upon her?

"So, you will let her be with me…" I whispered.

"I am not her keeper and I would never interfere in a love such as this."

I felt a tightness in my throat and I began to fear very much that I would begin cry. That would not do at all. I needed to get out of this kitchen. I needed to escape this surreal moment.

Nadir must have read the thoughts in my face. He smiled at me but there was no pity in the look now, as there had often been before. There was only relief and that once elusive look of pride.

"Go to her. I believe I still remember how to prepare a decent meal."

I made to rush from the room but paused.

"Thank you, dear friend." I whispered, throwing my voice so it would find its way straight to Nadir's ear. I then quickly left.

I did not see the tear that escaped Nadir's eye and he did not see the tear that escaped mine.

I was at the parlour door before I even realised. I was just about to enter when I was stopped in my tracks by the voices within. I believe Nadir and I had almost completely forgotten that Christine had not been left alone. She had been cornered by Madame Giry. How had I forgotten?

I had been so full of joy…and, dare I say, hope…

All of that came crashing down around me as I listened to the voices drifting out from within that room.

It was with cold dread that I listened as the discussion turned to a matter that could very well still have the power to take my love from me.

Agony ripped at my heart as I listened to my beloved's mournful sigh.

"Oh, poor Raoul…"

Perhaps my hope had all been for naught, for how could I compete with perfection?

Would Christine really choose me again or would the very persuasive Madame Giry lure her back to that wretched white knight?

There and then I resolved that, if she left, I would die.

Perhaps she would consent to return to bury me at least...

Like some sort of masochist I remained outside the parlour door and listened carefully, awaiting my fate.

_**It was so hard to believe that I was worth loving. For so long I felt like a thief who had stolen something unimaginably precious and was constantly waiting to be caught.**_

_**I tried, but I had not been taught to hope, so it was hard to hold onto that strange feeling. Without Christine by my side it was hard to believe. **_

_**Without her I didn't exist.**_

_**I did not see what she saw in me. **_

_**I only saw her…**_

**- Extract from Erik's Journal**

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**So there ya go. A cliffie I know but have faith in E/C everyone! **

**Part 2 of this chapter will be coming a.s.a.p. **

**Hope you enjoyed it! **

**Let me know your thoughts in a review!**

**x Restless And Tempted x**


	17. A Visit With The Ghost & His Lady 2

_**A/N:**_**It has been a shamefully long time since my last update and I can only apologise profusely. Life does not like giving me much time to spend writing and so I have been unable to update until now. Again I am so sorry!**

**I hope that if you still remember my little story that you all will forgive me and continue to read it.**

**So without further ado I give you Part 2, completely in Christine's POV.**

**I really hope you enjoy it! Please review and let me know! (",)**

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_**Chapter 17**_

_**A Visit With The Ghost & His Lady (Part 2)**_

_**Words are a very dangerous thing you know. **_

_**People often underestimate that, but not Erik. Erik knew the pain of words. **_

_**In the beginning, and still now I suppose, I had to be careful with all that I had said. **_

_**It could be so exhausting at times.**_

_**So exhausting…but the wrong words can hurt far worse than any blow…**_

**-Extract from Christine's Diary**

I was trembling as I closed the parlour door behind us. Where had my bravery fled to? Being separated from Erik had thrown me something terrible and I could not seem to regain my composure. I was left feeling like a naughty child waiting to be punished. Yet what had I done wrong? I had only followed my heart. So why couldn't I turn and face this woman who had been like a mother to me?

We stood quietly for long, uncomfortable minutes while Madame Giry inspected the room before breaking the silence.

"So this is where you ran off to?" Madame Giry questioned sternly.

Her tone was even more disapproving then when one of the ballerinas forgot her steps.

"Yes but I did not run…" I defended meekly, turning to face her. Why couldn't I stand strong and proud, and show her that I was finally where I was meant to be?

"You ran, Christine Daae! Or perhaps it wasn't you that ran…"

Instantly I was suspicious of her words. There was something in her tone; an uneasiness in her eyes. She was searching for something. A confession, perhaps? Or did she expect a cry for help? Surely not…But then again was that not why they were here, she and Nadir, to make sure that nothing was amiss?

I was woefully unprepared for this. I felt guilty for no sound reason at all. I had never been very good at confrontations, and beneath the surface that's what this was.

I could not think of words fast enough and I know that my hesitation seemed incriminating.

"Madame…I…I am sure that I do not know what you mean…I…"

"Christine," Suddenly her tone softened and she looked at me with pleading eyes, "Child, if you need my help if…if you need to escape…I will help! You…you need not worry of Erik, we will take care of everything… " The hesitation in this formidable woman's voice threw me. What was this talk of escape? We had invited them here as guests, why would we do that if I wished to escape? My head was spinning suddenly as her words made all of the events of the past few days come crashing over me like a tidal wave of emotion. It upset me greatly that she did not seem to understand and I struggled to explain. I was so very tired of trying to think of words to explain my every thought and action.

Madame Giry must have mistook my sudden weakness for some sort of distress. And while I suppose it was, she clearly mistook its cause as she seized my arm. I did not understand why she seemed almost as upset as I was. "Come, child, there, there, it will be alright. We will just…"

Snapping out of my muddled thoughts I broke free of her grip.

"No!" I said with more force than anything else I had uttered since entering this room. "Please stop speaking to me in such a manner." Glancing around nervously, I could not help but worry. What if Erik heard her words to me? He would instantly think the worst, I knew that and it would destroy all that we had been building. The steps we had taken, how far we had come would all mean nothing if I could not quiet this woman's words…and her doubts.

Oh, this was not how this was supposed to play out. I was to be the calm hostess, happy with her life and with her choices. Instead I behaved like a skittish little mouse.

"Madame, please," I entreated as strongly as I could, "Please, you do not understand. Things are not as you believe them to be!"

"Then we did you run?!"

Why?

Why indeed?

I had not really seen it that way at the time. I had not thought it through. I had only thought of Erik…Had that been wrong of me? Had I hurt this proud woman, who had been so much a mother to me, by not thinking of her? I suppose I had…But that did not give her the right to come here and ruin everything with her misguided attempts at helping me.

"I…I was not thinking," I answered carefully, "I did not think…I am sorry if my actions have you hurt you, it was not my intention but it was necessary."

There. Surely that would be sufficient.

"Necessary? You speak as though this was a business deal. Is that was this is, Christine, some sort of exchange? What deal have you made?"

When did Madame Giry begin speaking in riddles? I could not understand her at all tonight!

"Deal? Madame, there is no deal! I made a choice and that choice has led me here."

"You made a choice…And what about those you left behind? What is your choice regarding them? What is your choice at all?"

I was finally beginning to regain my footing in this conversation. I was just about to open my mouth and explain everything as best I could, when Madame Giry knocked me into turmoil again with her words.

"Raoul has been searching for you."

That name was like a blow to my stomach. It seemed to echo through the house. I almost thought I heard the house groan in return but surely I was imagining things. Raoul. The boy I had loved since childhood. He represented, more profoundly than anything else, the life I had left behind. The life I had never really gotten the chance to mourn, for fear that Erik would misunderstand my actions.

"Oh, poor Raoul…"

What must he be thinking of all this? I never had the chance to explain or say goodbye. I probably never would. I did not regret leaving him…I did not love him as I should have…as he deserved. It would have been terrible indeed to condemn us both to a life of half-love and half-truths. I would never have truly been able to love him or indeed be myself with him, and that would have destroyed us in the end…silently and relentlessly.

But I could not help but regret now the manner in which I left him.

So full of joy and thoughts of love, he could never have known how that night was going to end. He could never have guessed that I would leave him for the man he dearly wished me to hate. But I did leave him, I left him alone with no explanation and that did not sit well with my conscience at all. What had he ever done but love me?

But it was not to be, I knew this now. I did not need rescuing. I had no need for a white knight to ride up and save me. And I certainly did not need Raoul searching for me.

"Madame, could I trust you with a very important task; one which I shall not be able to accomplish myself."

"Of course, Christine, I will do whatever I can for you!"

She was probably expecting me to cry then and ask to be taken home to the Opera House at once. But she was in for a surprise, because I was home and what I needed from her was only what Erik had once needed from her. I needed her to deliver a message.

"Madame Giry, I wish you to tell Raoul something for me."

"But…but can you not tell himself?"

"No." I said firmly, hiding the small ache that that caused me, "No, I'm afraid that is not possible as Erik and I will soon be leaving this place."

Madame Giry seemed struck dumb by my words and so I continued.

"Please tell…please tell Raoul that I have made my choice. Finally, I have made my own choice and that I am very sorry but this…this is goodbye. I do not need him to keep looking for me. I am not lost. Only I will probably never see him again, and for that too I am sorry. But Little Lotte has grown up…and he must forget her…he must forget me and be happy. Oh, do tell him I wish him to be happy and try to make him understand that it was never to be for us. Never!"

"Christine, I don't understand…you truly wish to stay here? Stay with Erik?"

"Yes, of course I do…"

"But, I thought…when you said…"

"Oh, Madame Giry do not tell me you are like all the rest! Do not tell me that you can't see! Don't you understand? Erik has never known love, nor one moment of joy or peace! But he is learning! He loves me, oh, how he loves me!"

I exclaimed wildly, desperate to make her see what it had taken _me _so long to see.

"So you think to martyr yourself to the cause then? To sacrifice your own chance at happiness to teach him love out of some misguided sense of obligation?"

Her words rang angrily in my ears until I could barely make sense of them. What was she talking about? A martyr? I considered myself no such thing!

"If you think you owe him, child, because of your voice then I must tell you that you do not! Your Father did not send this man! You do not need to do this!"

Her words coiled bitterly in my mind and I suddenly could barely see through my anger and disappointment. In that moment of rage I could not see how it seemed to pain her to hurl such accusations. I could not see the reasons behind her harsh words.

"How dare you!" I shrieked, finally finding the courage to stand up for my love.

"How dare you come to our house and say such…such hateful things! I am no martyr! How am I sacrificing my life by choosing to love and be loved forever?! How is that not happiness, Madame, how? You say Erik was not sent by my dear Papa and there you are right. He was sent by God Himself; sent to save me; sent so that so we could save each other! How can you not see that this is the life I have chosen for myself? Me! No one else! I love him, Madame! I love him and you cannot make me leave him unless you wish to kill us both!"

A tremendous hush fell over us both then. I suddenly felt exhausted, drained of my very life. My Lord, where had those impassioned words come from? From the depths of my soul it seemed. They certainly had been very dramatic, but what did you expect from the soul of a performer, I suppose.

Madame Giry looked suitably shocked and yet a sort of pride seemed to be growing in her expression as she stared at me. She stared and stared and stared until I began to feel very paranoid indeed. Had it really been so shocking? I almost felt the urge to apologise but I could not for fear of making her doubt my words again.

Suddenly she was across the room and holding me very tightly in an unexpected embrace. Now I was the one who was shocked and more than a little confused. I had just shouted most appallingly at Madame, I had been very rude indeed…and she was pleased by it?

"Oh, my dear! Such fire, such conviction!"

She whispered into my hair. Pulling back as best I could to regard her, my puzzled face only seemed to amuse her further. I did not understand this sudden change. And to think that I had thought that Erik's mercurial moods were bad…

"Madame, really, I do not understand…I…"

"Oh neither did I…neither did I…but I can see now! I can see it in your eyes! You truly love him!"

She believed me!

She could see! Finally someone understood!

And I had done that, I had made her understand! I had stood my ground!

The relief I felt was indescribable. I had won this battle. Perhaps it would be the first of many, but I did not dwell on that. There were be time for that later, for now I knew that I had this woman's acceptance at least. And for now that was enough…

Just as Madame Giry moved to enfold me in another unexpected embrace the door burst open. We turned to find Erik in the doorway, a strange look gleaming in his eyes.

Instantly I moved towards him, drawn like a magnet…or a moth…I am still not quite sure which…

"Erik, Erik, my love, what is it? What is the matter?"

His expression gave away nothing and that frightened me. I did not know what he was feeling. I did not know what to think.

"Erik…" I began, before finding myself in another sudden and unexpected embrace. (I was beginning to see a pattern emerging…)

"I love you, I love you, I love you…"

The words became like a mantra and the sound of Erik's indescribable voice repeating them to me so ardently made my heart feel full to the brim.

Suddenly I understood. Erik had heard my words to Madame Giry and they had made him so very happy. Finally!

The joy bubbled up inside me until it escaped in the form of an ecstatic giggle.

I had not failed him! I had not failed us!

As Madame Giry stood by, smiling proudly, Erik held me to him with such love and joy that I never wanted this moment to end.

However, it did end, as all things must, when a polite cough sounded from behind Erik. It was Monsieur Khan.

"Dinner is served."

He said wryly, a pleased expression, much akin to Madame Giry's, on his face.

Quickly, Erik pulled away. Seeming to recover himself, he glanced around warily as though waiting to be scolded…or attacked…

Normally, this would bother me but I was in too good of mood to linger on it. At that moment I was convinced we would overcome the emotional scars that his cruel life had left him with. I was convinced that we would overcome anything!

Strange the little things that can so lift your spirits and make you feel almost invincible. Certainly I was letting my heart run away with itself but I was loathe to stop it. I wanted to hold on to this feeling of power and confidence that I once only felt when I was on stage. I wanted to believe…

And so instead of worrying about what the next moment would bring, or the next or the next, I simply took Erik's hand firmly and started towards the dining room as though nothing had happened at all.

"Come along everyone, I am positively starving."

Erik's awed expression nearly made me giggle again but I refrained.

Though I'm not sure Madame Giry and Monsieur Khan quite managed the same. Their quiet laughter followed us as we left the room.

When we finally sat down to eat together, I could almost imagine we were like our own little family. For one night I let myself pretend that things were simple. We all did. And we were happy. All of us. Completely. Even if it was just for one night.

_**I had not wished to say those cruel things to that poor child. **__**I had not wished to push her so. **_

_**But I had to be completely sure! I had to be sure that she was there willingly and that she understood the path she had taken.**_

_**And, Lord, did she prove her love to me! I had never seen her so certain and so…formidable! **_

_**She made me proud and I think she proved her love to Erik as well in that moment…more, perhaps, than ever before! **_

_**It was a good step for them. It was the right step.**_

_**And I had to let them follow it through…**_

**- Extract from the Diary of Madame Giry**

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**So there you go! Hope you enjoyed it!**

**I thought it would be nice to sort of end it on a bit of a positive note since the last chapter's cliffie seemed quite grim. **

**Also my spirits needing a little lifting too after sobbing my way through the demise of the effervescent 10th Doctor as played by the truly brilliant David Tennant in Doctor Who.**

**So please review and let me know your thoughts. (It will help to cheer me up even more as you know I'm always so grateful to hear from you all!)**

**x Restless And Tempted x**


	18. Don't Shoot The Messenger

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the appalling wait, all I can say is that it has been a very crazy couple of months full of many ups and downs. I've been trying to finish this chapter for so long and now (while not totally satisfied with it) here it is at last. I hope some of you are still interested in reading my little story. Sorry for how some of the writing, breaks, punctuation etc. is positioned - when I uploaded this chapter it uploaded all messed up and wouldn't let me fix some of the mistakes, so forgive me for the ones you may notice.**

**It begins in Madame Giry's POV and ends in Raoul's POV. Sorry if this seems like a bit of a filler since there's no actual E&C in this chapter but there will be next chapter I promise.**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy it! Please review and let me know what you think. :) **

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**Chapter 18**  
**Don't Shoot The Messenger**

_**I remember our little family reprieve did not last nearly as long as I would've liked. Though they were visibly exhausted, Madame Giry refused my offer of a room. They had left with all the suddenness of their arrival (though there were many embraces and perhaps a few secret tears). "Many pressing matters to attend to." I remember that was Madame's explanation for leaving as she shared a pointed look with Erik. As I kissed the cheek of this stern woman who had for so long been like a mother to me in her own way, I remember wondering, not what the pressing matters were but rather - would I ever see her, or Monsieur Khan even, again? **_  
_**The wondering saddened me greatly…**_  
**- Extract from Christine's Diary**

As I embraced my young charge for the last time I could not help but acknowledge the sadness that was brewing inside me. I did not know when we would meet again. However, the helpless little girl that I had tried to protect all these years had grown up. Christine was not so fragile any longer. I could see the fire in her eyes now no longer obscured by endless childish tears. And like any proud mother I had to put aside my own needs and let her go out into the world to find her way as a woman.  
Though I will admit as I turned to regard Erik, my resolve faltered.

Letting Christine go would be difficult, but letting Erik go…I will admit it to no one but I believe my heart broke a little in that moment. Who would believe that the cold and reserved Madame would be capable of so deep a feeling as heartbreak? But all things were possible where Erik was concerned. To think of life in the Opera House without the feel of his presence in the air seemed somehow incredibly lonely to me. He had been with me for so long and through so much, and now we were to part ways for who knew how long. I had never imagined that I would face such a day…perhaps I was cruel or selfish in such thinking but still to have to face parting with him now was made that much more painful by such thoughts. I knew one day Christine would leave, either to marry or further her career, but Erik…Ghosts were supposed to remain and haunt a place forever. I had thought…hoped…that the Opera Ghost would be no different. But Erik was human. He was a man now and men moved on.

I went to him without a word, for what could I truly say now? There was so much to say and suddenly I had not the slightest idea where to begin, and so I remained silent. I hoped that he would see the sincerity of feeling in my eyes through the glimmering sheen of tears that I would forever deny and hoped to never let fall, at least not amongst company.  
I pretended not to notice him flinch as I embraced him wordlessly. We had never touched like this before. I had never before had the courage to reach out to him in such a way, even when he had seemed so lost…It was something that shamed me deeply and now in this last moment I felt compelled to rectify that. Perhaps it was partly out of a somewhat selfish need to lessen that shame, but there it was…  
I had expected him to stand completely rigid and painfully still before eventually recoiling. Erik's life had been unbearably cruel and human contact had only been another source of pain for him, so I was prepared for his rejection of my affection. However, I was to be surprised instead as I felt him relax in my arms. He did not reach to hold me as well, not as others would, but in a way that was uniquely Erik I knew that he returned my show of affection. One lone tear slipped unbidden from my eye but it was unseen by all and dried quickly on the shoulder of my oldest and, in many ways, dearest friend.

I did not watch as Nadir made his goodbyes. I knew he would feel the loss of Erik just as profoundly as I, if not more so. He had a father's affection for him whether Erik allowed himself to see it or not. They were linked by past events that I had little understanding of but it was a bond of great strength as in the time since I had known him, where Erik was, Monsieur Khan was sure to be. How he would cope with Erik's absence I did not know…but I vowed then and there to see to it that he would not face it alone.

It was heartbreaking to have to leave my precious children in such a hurried manner but their continued safety was my primary concern at that point. And perhaps the safety of the Vicomte as well… I felt the duty fell to myself and Nadir to ensure that Christine and Erik were not disturbed by the arrival of Christine's would-be protector. Erik seemed quite the changed man but I was not so naïve. I knew that it all hinged on Christine's continued presence in his life. If the young Vicomte succeeded in making a misguided attempt to 'free' his beloved childhood sweetheart, I shuddered to think of the consequences. I had not forgotten that, much as I cared for him, Erik could be the most dangerous of men when pushed.

"You know what we must do now, I trust."  
Nadir turned from the brougham's window, his expression grave and his eyes betraying a sadness that alas, it was not yet the time to speak of.  
"Do you think the young man will listen?" he enquired, wasting no time on preamble - a trait I found most admirable.  
"I have a message for him from Christine. He will listen."  
"Perhaps, but will he understand, Madame? Will he heed our warning, or merely see us as consorts of the madman he believes he hunts?"  
I did not answer. I did not know how. Instead I closed my eyes as Nadir turned back to gaze out into the darkness. I closed my eyelids and tried to ignore the turmoil behind them.

I think I may have slept, I may have even dreamt but my mind did not care to remember of what, though my heart told me that it had not been pleasant.  
It was light out and I could see that we had once again returned to the city.  
"I have informed our driver to take us to the De Chagny estate rather than the Opera House. I thought it best to get this little meeting over and done with as soon as possible. I take it you are not opposed to this?"  
I nodded silently. My heart plummeted to think of what was ahead of me but I did not share this with Monsieur Khan. I believe he shared my feelings on the matter.

All too soon we arrived at the gates of the sprawling De Chagny estate on the city's outskirts. We sent our driver (or Erik's borrowed driver, whomever the man was) to inform the manservant that we wished to speak to the young De Chagny regarding La Daae in our brougham if he was available to receive us. It seemed best to give our message outside of the main house considering its delicate nature.

Raoul did not keep us waiting long. In fact he bounded into the brougham with all the unreserved excitability of an overgrown pup. I thought then how easily he could have found himself face to face with Erik waiting here instead of myself and Monsieur Khan. He had not checked to confirm the driver's story before entering. He had shown no caution at all, which revealed a childish lack of sense that put him dangerously below Erik's level of cunning. He was still just a boy in so many ways, he did not know the world as we did. He did not see it as Erik did and had not learnt it as Christine was.  
I could almost read the reproof and the worry in Nadir's eyes. If this had been Persia…But it was not and we could only pray that Erik would not be tempted back to such dark ways. But I was no fool, for Christine Erik would do anything…I do not think Raoul quite understood what that meant.

He looked at us with such unreserved hope that again I felt that gnawing at my heart. How to end the fairytale I could see he still believed his life with Christine would be?

** Raoul's POV **

My search was getting me nowhere and with each passing moment I could feel the strain it was placing on my hopes. The cruelty of searching house after house and feeling that in each empty room the Opera Ghost was laughing at me as time slipped by. My resolve was still steadfast but every night that passed without my Little Lotte seemed darker and darker.

It is an unnatural darkness that seems to gather around me and twist at my heart, one that is beginning to linger even as dawn approaches. Sometimes I could almost believe it has a voice, whispering…whispering terrible things…things that can't be true. Sometimes the voice is harsh and cold but other times it is soft and musical…Christine's voice…  
I dream of her every time I close my eyes now. She speaks to me, always from far away, always smiling and crying at the same time. I can never remember what it is that she says to me but I wake up hearing Goodbye ringing in my ears….  
…It could drive a man insane…

Last night had been a difficult night. Very difficult…  
So I could not believe my luck when Frederick approached me in my study to inform me of who awaited me outside. It had to be a sign. This was the answer to my prayers - a way to find what that fiend had taken from me. Little Lotte. They would not call upon me for no reason. They had been searching for her too, I knew.

I sprang into the brougham with little grace or reserve and was greeted by the weary faces of the Persian and the ballet mistress. Their grim, almost pitying expressions barely registered in my mind. My heart was racing and my mind was too full of images of my blissful reunion with Christine. Perhaps she was already back in the Opera House. Perhaps she was here. Perhaps…

"Where is she?" It burst from me, sounding less like a question and more like a demand. "Have you found her? Is she here?"  
I must have looked quite ridiculous, my gaze frantically searching the rather small interior. I am quite sure that by this point I was shaking slightly. My hasty dash had even loosened my shirt from my trousers, lending an unkempt quality to my appearance that no doubt matched the wildness in my eyes. I had never before been seen in public in such an uncontrolled state.  
As I realised this, it occurred to me briefly that in my devoted search for Christine I was losing myself…  
But the thought passed and I did my best to pretend to forget it. I had once had a talent for pretending when I was a boy. Pretending I could not see Christine peeking out when we played hide and seek. Pretending I did not know how the story ended when Christine's Papa re-told them to us almost every evening.  
Pretending not to see, pretending not to know…

"Monsieur!" Madame Giry began sternly before visibly softening "Raoul…" I could not understand why she sounded so sad. This was joyous news, was it not? Monsieur Khan remained silent and solemn. He would not look at me but instead had turned his gaze to the little window. I wondered what held his attention so rapt as the street was quite empty at this hour.  
"Please if you could compose yourself. We have a matter of great importance to discuss. I have a message for you from the…" At this, Madame paused and a far-away look seemed to creep into her eyes. For a breath of a moment she was somewhere that I could not reach her, like Christine in my dreams…  
But almost as soon as it occurred the moment passed and she straightened suddenly in her seat.  
"From Christine," She finished hurriedly, "I have a message from Christine."

"A message? Could she not deliver it in person?" I did not understand this at all. If they had found Christine surely she would be here with them to speak to me. She would be as eager as myself to be reunited at last.  
"If she is worried that I am angry for her disappearance and the worry it has caused you must make her understand that I know it was against her will. I am not angry with her though I will of course be seeking retribution on that fiend…for her sake of course you understand…"  
As I spoke frantically I began to notice again the pitiful look with which I was being regarded. There was a sadness in Madame Giry's eyes but it was hardened. She seemed to pity me yes, but she did not sympathise with me…And for the life of me I could not figure out the reason for such a look…  
"Madame with all due respect I thank you for coming here at such an hour but if I could only speak with Christine myself, if I could just…"  
"That will not be possible, Monsieur." Monsieur Khan's voice cut through my entreaty with a quiet authority impossible to ignore. I instinctively obeyed his unspoken command and ceased speaking.  
"Madame Giry has a message for you and you would do well to listen, for after this we will speak of this matter no more. Do you understand?"  
I did not and yet I found myself nodding. Monsieur Khan seemed to be a man used to commanding respect and attention…and yet the wearied look in his eyes seemed to suggest that he did not always receive it…

Strangely, as I turned to regard Madame Giry once more and receive Christine's message, I felt as though I was about to receive a court sentence - was I to be set free or put to death?  
Madame Giry sighed deeply and then she began. Her voice steady and earnest. But her words poison in my ears…

"Young man I am afraid you will not like what I am about to tell you. However, they are the very words of the woman you claim to love and so you must accept them…though they are not what you had hoped, they are true and they are final.  
Christine is leaving…she is gone and she will not be coming back. She asked me to tell you that she has made her choice and she has made it on her own. She will not see you again and for this and everything she has put you through she is so very sorry. But this is goodbye, you must not look for her any longer, she is not lost…rather she is found…She has grown up your Little Lotte and now you must go on without her. Forget her and be happy - that is her wish. Be happy as you could never have been with her. It was not meant to be and now you must accept that."

I could not move. I could not breathe. I felt claustrophobic as those words sunk into my skin. This was not right, this was not what Christine was supposed to tell me. She would not tell me this. My Little Lotte was not gone, I just had to find her and make her see sense. We were meant to be together, we were always meant to find one another. I had to save her. I was made to save her. Without her, I had no purpose.  
Without her…without her…without her…

"Vicomte? Raoul? Please you must see that she was never truly your's! You cannot fight this. It is fate. She has chosen Erik."  
Erik? Erik! That beast! No, no, no she would not choose him, she could not! He lied to her, manipulated her! These were all lies! Suddenly I could move and think and talk again as anger flooded my veins and scorched away the cold that had tried to settle in them.

"You lie!" I hissed, my voice hardly recognisable, "She would never choose that madman! He terrifies her, repulses her! He used the memory of her dead father to make her trust him. He lied and lied and now he lies again through you! Both of you! You are on his side! You are hiding her from me now as well! Leaving her trapped with him! Oh you nearly had me, nearly! But I know she would never willingly choose that monster over me, not after begging me to keep her safe and love her! So where is she? I demand you tell me!"

I was raging now, towering over Madame Giry in the cramped confines of the brougham, full to the brim of fire and anger. I had never before shouted at anyone the way I shouted now. Hate was clawing its way up my throat and spilling out into every syllable I spoke. Madame Giry looked at me with wide eyes as though she did not know me…I did not know myself… I was a man possessed by the image of one person and the shadow that clung to her.

Monsieur Khan tried to lay a restraining hand on me but I could not hear what he attempted to say to me to calm me. I shrugged him off. I was more forceful than I realised as my shrug caused him to hit the side of the brougham hard.  
"Nadir!" Madame Giry called in worry.  
"I am fine, it's alright." He wheezed in response.  
Seeing him struggle to catch his breath caused a feeling of shame to course through me chasing some of the madness from me. But I could not quite rid myself of it all.  
"You will tell me where Christine is!" It was not a question but a demand, and yet they stayed silent. How could they remain so loyal to this deranged man? It made no sense! He was a murderer, a thief and now a kidnapper! How could they let Christine rot with him? How could I find her? Looking out the window, a sudden flash of inspiration hit.

"Well if you will not tell me…"  
Quickly I jumped from the brougham and grabbed the driver, who was standing nearby, by the lapels. "Have you have been with these two for their entire journey?"  
The man was startled indeed but he had the sense to respond quickly.  
"Yes, Monsieur Vicomte, as far as I know…"  
"Where did you take them? Where are they coming from?"  
"Monsieur, I cannot, please…" I shook him violently, that mad haze back again.  
"So help me man if you do not tell me I will have you arrested for aiding a known murderer and his accomplices!" I spat the words at him, throwing him to the ground.  
"The woods, Monsieur, that is all I can say we were in some woods! I…"  
"Driver!" Madame Giry halted the man's words by employing the tone I had often heard her take with her little ballerinas. She looked shaken but her voice still carried enough force to affect the driver. "We are leaving. Now! And you will say no more!"

Quickly the man scurried back to the brougham. "No!" I shouted, "I am not done with you yet!" I made to follow the man and pull him back, but instead was shoved to the ground myself. The fall knocked the wind out of my lungs somewhat. Looking up I was faced with a stern Monsieur Khan. My behaviour seemed to have lost me his pity…  
"You will stop this madness now. It is finished. If you continue with this you will lose yourself completely. And Erik is no stranger to such madness. He will not tolerate your interference. He will make you pay for it."  
"I will kill him." I tried to imbue my voice with all the certainty and righteousness that I could muster from my position on the ground.  
"To kill him would be to kill Christine as well. Is that what you wish to have on your soul? You must stop chasing something that does not exist before you cause more damage than you can mend."

His words shocked me.  
Kill Christine? How could that be? I would never harm her!  
They took advantage of my momentary stupor to set the horses in motion and before I knew it the brougham was leaving. I thought briefly of following but found I could not. So I remained sitting where I had fallen. The last thing I saw, before the brougham was out of sight, was Madame Giry's face looking back at me, pale and luminous against the dark interior. I think she may have waved farewell though I could not be sure.  
Watching them leave I knew a moment of regret - whether it was for the lack of information I had managed to get from them or for my wild reactions I could not say for sure.

I sat there until Frederick came to usher me back into the house. My insides were churning and my mind spun endless circles. I could not truly fathom what had just happened. My behaviour worried me but not as much as the behaviour of Madame Giry and Monsieur Khan. What had been their game in coming here? Why had they tried to feed me such lies?

They wanted me to give up my search. That must mean that I am close and perhaps that Erik is scared. He knows I am coming for him. I am coming for what is mine. I will find Christine and we will be together, as we were always meant to be.  
And now, thanks to the driver, I had a clue as to where to look. They had come from the woods. Thinking quickly, I felt somewhat certain that there was only one of Erik's properties that I knew of in such a location.  
There was no time to lose, not now that he knew I was hunting him.  
I would leave as soon as possible. It was time to end this.

_**I had been so certain I would finish the whole damn thing that very day. I had been wrong, so very wrong…If only I could have changed things…**_

_**- Extract from the Journal of Raoul de Chagny**_

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**Well there ya have Chapter 18 - finally! Hope you enjoyed it! Please review and let me know your thoughts, they're very much appreciated! :)**


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